How to tell a close relative they smell?!

Georgiegirl256

Have you tried having a word with the girlfriend? Mention it to her and see what she says. Does she smell too? Does she not wash his clothes when she does hers?

fairy_lights

If it's that bad I'm surprised his girlfriend hasn't said anything to him about it. Does she smell as well? Is it a situation where they both don't wash their clothes/shower regularly enough and it seems normal to them?
Or it could well be that he knows his personal hygiene isn't great and smells, but just doesn't care. I'm pretty fastidious about showering and changing my clothes, whereas my boyfriend can get home from a long and sweaty shift at work and happily spend the rest of the day wearing his stanky work clothes. I could never do that, but different people have different tolerance levels for dirt and smells, and different ideas of what's acceptable and what's just plain gross.

DKLS

Simply start calling him Pigpen.

justme111

"I would live to spend Christmas with you but I will not as you smell so bad it ruins the day /evening for me /all, sorry " and then follow with action should do it. Because you keep trying to be gentle he thinks the smell issue is a charming quirk , not offputting one.

paulineb_2

How often do you see this relative? Its none of my business re someones hygiene and yes if it was causing them problems I might step in and say something. Once. Not over and over, not buying them deodorant. Theres a fine line between caring about someone and possibly causing them embarassment.

It might be his clothes that smell, if hes not washing them enough, deodorant wont fix that.

Frugalbride

I used to see him often, now not so much as he has moved away.
His girlfriend doesn't smell and always looks presentable. I have thought about talking to her but it might cause trouble. I wonder if she can't smell it or is just tolerant through proximity!
If it was just me getting wound up about it then I wouldn't be so bothered but it is the fact that he is now actively looking for better jobs and can't seem to see that this may be an issue.
This is my little brother, love him to bits but can't seem to get through to him. Thanks for the suggestions about detergent, though I don't know if that will get through to him either. Think he does wash, although is not fastidious, and the issue has only started since he has been living in flats without much in the way of heating.
He is lazy/laid back and maybe does think I was joking. If someone said I needed a wash I wouldn't take it as a joke but he probably did.

justme111

Haha last night someone said my pc keyboard needed a clean (he was right , it has crumbs and stains of sauce on it ) which I did jot pay much attention to. To me it is not important. I hope it is not offputting to a person who said it , it was a major issue to him I would have preferred him to stress how bad it is in his perspective , I would have kept it cleaner if someone was about to throw up when one looking at it

Ps. Your relatives don't sound good I am afraid , they should not speak in a derogatory manner about him. If I were you I would have cut it in my presence.

Buick

Not to be too personal but is it a sort of stale smell or is it body odour? If his flat smells of damp, whatever's in it (ie him and his clothes) is also going to smell.

I did know someone who was putting his clothes back in the wardrobe when they were still damp and he used to honk to high heaven!! He was aware of it, though, and tried to mask the smell by spraying Lynx on himself, which made it worse :rotfl:

I think you need to get your family on the case, because if it's only ever you who tells him, he might think you've got a problem with him.

Frugalbride

Ps. Your relatives don't sound good I am afraid , they should not speak in a derogatory manner about him. If I were you I would have cut it in my presence.[/QUOTE]

Don't really know what this means? Everyone is worried and trying to hint not sure why this means they are not good. I'm as guilty as any of them in that case.

Frugalbride

Buick wrote: »

Not to be too personal but is it a sort of stale smell or is it body odour? If his flat smells of damp, whatever's in it (ie him and his clothes) is also going to smell.

I did know someone who was putting his clothes back in the wardrobe when they were still damp and he used to honk to high heaven!! He was aware of it, though, and tried to mask the smell by spraying Lynx on himself, which made it worse :rotfl:

I think you need to get your family on the case, because if it's only ever you who tells him, he might think you've got a problem with him.

Thanks, I agree it needs to come from other people too. I'm just worried about losing closeness with him. Think it is a mixture of clothes smell, plus body odour.