Buying a house, I have debt

katejo

teach_1988 wrote: »

Hi, me and my girlfriend of 6 years are looking to buy towards the end of the summer if the right house is on the market. I have saved £2000 and she has saved £6000 so far and we should have a combined saving of around £12000.

This is my question/issue/worry. When I lost my father in 2009 I became depressed and started to gamble online. My girlfriend had no idea as is the case with gamlers (very good at hiding it) anyway it got me in a little mess with debt it was around £8,000. I got help in 2011 and haven't gambled since. I currently have £6,000 on a credit card and managed to get a good balance transfer of my debt to a 0%interest card for 30months.

The thing is, as my girlfriend has no idea of the problem I had in 2009 (the gambling), I am worried that when we go through with getting a morgage she will find out about my credit card and then she will start asking questions. She may not want to be with me after my history of gambling but I have not thought about it since 2011. It's in the past. Will she be told that I have a credit card? Will they ask me in front of her what debts I have? I don't know what to do!

I guess I already know the answer (yes she will find out)...

If you have 6K debt on a credit card, then you don't have 2K savings! How on earth will you fund additional expenses to do with the property?

Poppops

BigAunty wrote: »

It's very disingenuous to say your gambling and running up of debt is something that's just in the past and this is why you don't think you have to trouble her about it. You did this while going out with her, it was a very current issue then, and you currently have a credit card (concealed from her) with a debt twice as high as your savings (therefore have no savings to contribute towards the purchase of the house all and she is oblivious to this). You aren't trustworthy.

He didn't really say that though. He said he became depressed after his father died and got himself into something that he sought help to get out of in 2011. He has been succesful at that, but hasn't told his girlfriend.

Let's face it, the reason he hasn't told her is much more likely to be that he is ashamed, worried he will disappoint her, and is frightened to lose her.

OP, I don't think this makes you untrustworthy or disingenuous. You've been an idiot but you haven't stolen anything or killed anyone. We've all been an idiot at some point.

Tell her. Secrets aren't good. If she loves you, and you are as 'recovered' as you say you are, then she will appreciate your honesty, albeit a little late.

You'll live and learn. I had a CC my husband didn't know about. We hadn't been married long. He shouted at me a bit but understood why I'd hid it from him.

However, the weekend I told him, he wouldn't let me have any popcorn at the cinema (seriously!!!).

Best of luck

BigAunty

Poppops wrote: »

Let's face it, the reason he hasn't told her is much more likely to be that he is ashamed, worried he will disappoint her, and is frightened to lose her.

Yeah,I'll accept that as an explanation but the lack of candour and hope that he can continue to conceal his debt is not a good basis to form a sound relationship.