Buying a house, I have debt

teach_1988

Hi, me and my girlfriend of 6 years are looking to buy towards the end of the summer if the right house is on the market. I have saved £2000 and she has saved £6000 so far and we should have a combined saving of around £12000.

This is my question/issue/worry. When I lost my father in 2009 I became depressed and started to gamble online. My girlfriend had no idea as is the case with gamlers (very good at hiding it) anyway it got me in a little mess with debt it was around £8,000. I got help in 2011 and haven't gambled since. I currently have £6,000 on a credit card and managed to get a good balance transfer of my debt to a 0%interest card for 30months.

The thing is, as my girlfriend has no idea of the problem I had in 2009 (the gambling), I am worried that when we go through with getting a morgage she will find out about my credit card and then she will start asking questions. She may not want to be with me after my history of gambling but I have not thought about it since 2011. It's in the past. Will she be told that I have a credit card? Will they ask me in front of her what debts I have? I don't know what to do!

I guess I already know the answer (yes she will find out)...

Thrugelmir

The debt will need to be declared at the time of the mortgage application. Can you economise and make a determined effort to pay down the debt?

teach_1988

That's what I'm going to try and do. I feel sick thinking about it. I've done so well - just cant believe that she might find out! Thanks for your help anyway.

pawsies

You need to communicate and tell her. No point in hiding it. She'd rather hear it from you than from the banker!

Kynthia

It's not good to join together financially by buying an asset worth hundreds of thousands together if there isn't trust and honesty. There is already a lot of risk by buying a property and taking on a joint debt for 25 years with someone you aren't married to. You will feel better once you have told her as it will no longer be a secret and the fact you have overcome the problem and are resolving the financial consequences says good things about you.

[Deleted User]

If your gf can't cope with the idea that you got into trouble a while ago, but are doing your best to sort it out now, I'm sorry but you shouldn't be trusting her enough to buy a house together.


U need to talk to her, and maybe put off house buying for another year so you can get your debts straightened out and maybe save a bigger deposit.

poppysarah

If you can't tell her then you're not ready to buy a house with her.
And if you tell her and she !!!!!!s off then she wasn't ready to buy a house with you.

You've got 2k, she's got 6k, and combined its £12k?

You've actually got -6k?

DaftyDuck

You have a "savings" of £2000, but £6000 of debt. You are £4000 in debt.

Your girlfriend has £6000 of savings and no debt (you know of... but she might have debts you haven't been told of.... ).

You have combined savings of £2000 from the information given, not £12,000.

You also have less than 30 months before you have to start paying off that remaining debt.

I do not think it advisable to be taking on more debt in those circumstances, even if you could find a lender who would consider it. I also agree with the others: keeping this from gf is unwise and impossible under the circumstance. The fact you don't want to be open is problematic in itself.

BigAunty

It's very disingenuous to say your gambling and running up of debt is something that's just in the past and this is why you don't think you have to trouble her about it. You did this while going out with her, it was a very current issue then, and you currently have a credit card (concealed from her) with a debt twice as high as your savings (therefore have no savings to contribute towards the purchase of the house all and she is oblivious to this). You aren't trustworthy.

fairy_lights

My partner and I are in a in a similar position and hope to be able to buy within the next year or two...but if the bank manager revealed that my boyfriend had a secret gambling problem and had racked up thousands of pounds of debt behind my back, that could very well be the end of our relationship, let alone any dreams of getting on the property ladder.
You really need to come clean with your girlfriend and get your debts sorted out before you even contemplate making such a huge financial commitment together, IMO.

Slightly_Squiffy

If my fiance lied to me about such a proportionally large amount of debt and risked my financial future by not being honest about it, I would be seriously questioning things. I would say that if you're not ready to be honest about your financial position you're certainly not ready to be buying a house together. After all, what happens if you relapse and she is required to pay the entire mortgage herself and cover your debts?