The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

debjay

27/31 for tonight please.

New_Me

piggles1 wrote: »

There's a little blip in my plan though. I've got to meet my friend who said 'but you never got drunk' (I had a huge tolerance! ) and saying he must stop when he doesn't have a problem. He won't drink if I'm not, and he can't go to the pub if we're not drinking so our meetup never happens, then he says what's wrong with a couple? then he says well howabout a half, then he says ok, none and we won't go the the pub, so we don't meet at all, etc. etc. It goes round in circles. Why can't he just have a pint and I'll have none? But he won't do that either. There's nowhere else to meet and I'd like to go out. I feel pressured by it though that I have to drink because he is.

Can you agree to meet, then get the drinks in and make yours non alcoholic? Change your mind in the pub Would a non alcoholic version work?

New_Me

21/23 please Shaggy

ManPants

piggles1 wrote: »

Hi all

I've got to admit I'm struggling. I read a handful of posts people saying they struggle with the stop button even after having AFDs, and I'm having that trouble as well. It seems to get worse for me after a period of AFDs.

Keep it up Piggles. You can do it! And if you think you can't then read my posts and see what the next stages are like. Not pretty I assure you. Go switch that kettle on as someone suggested.

Now that my hangover has finally abated and I have managed to extract myself from my supine position, I am ready for a gorgeous, smooth red wine beside the glow of an open fire. I'm selling it beautifully to even myself. However, in reality I'm pacing the floor, glugging back water and thinking how relieved I am that I didn't create any chaos last night. I still want the wine though.

One of my AA colleagues called me today whilst I was in the pits of a hangover but I couldn't bear to admit that I'd drank alcohol with gusto last night. Anyway, despite my earlier moans I will attend a meeting tomorrow.

Good Luck to everyone struggling tonight. Stay strong. You can do it. Add an entry to this thread it kills off a few moments.

SPS X

AF 23/31

smiley_77

piggles1 wrote: »

thanks Honey Bear the bolded part above was one of my main motivations for slowing down or stopping. I'd forgotten it, so thanks for the reminder, and the virtual hug

I started drinking way back because of the things that I couldn't cope with as a child, and then because I was actually unwell mentally but no one noticed so there was no help. All I wanted, back then, was for someone to say 'what's the matter?' and protect me. Alcohol became the substitute for that. I think I still use it for that reason but then it becomes a thing in itself doesn't it, needing to be fed.
)

This is totally how it happened for me and by the time you realise that this has been your coping mechanism it is well embedded and it is taking me a long Tim to not only change my thinking but find alternative ways to cope with the stress and anxiety it helped to blot out.

Well I will be taking all the victories I can. I know really I should never drink again bit I'm just going to get to the end of January.

Thanks to everyone who post on here it is helping me massivley.

Barny1979

23/25 AFDs today

satchmo1

26/31 AFDs tonight. DH is counting the days to 1st February, but I've decided to keep going through to Easter.

cathybird

27/31 for me please Shaggy.

maman

stupotstu wrote: »

I am ready for a gorgeous, smooth red wine beside the glow of an open fire. I'm selling it beautifully to even myself. However, in reality I'm pacing the floor, glugging back water and thinking how relieved I am that I didn't create any chaos last night. I still want the wine though.

I hope you managed to be AF this evening stupotsu. I remember the feeling well but it will pass in time. Just take advantage of all the help you can get.:A

New_Me wrote: »

Appologies maman couldn't remember who the tip originated with, but it's too good not to pass around

No problem, I only mentioned it because I'd extended the practice into full evenings rather than to prevent late night drinking. It's sad but I even have favourite mugs.:o


Almost wobbled after a stressful afternoon. It would have been so easy to reward myself with wine but your post helped me. I thought I'd be ashamed if I didn't follow my own advice, so tea it was.:D

Poppety

8/11 please Shaggydoo.

Stupotstu - so a slip up eh? Yep. But not a tumble off a cliff. Be kind to yourself. After 10 AFdays the guard is down and in a social situation it's just so so easy. I've been the same myself ( but not after so many AF days as I can't remember doing that many for ages). The worst part is spending the next day berating yourself and hating yourself and being miserable about it. "Why,oh why" is the refrain. And I suppose it's those bits that spur us on to try again. And try again we do. And that's what matters most. Don't give up trying. The AA group sounds a real challenge. It's hard to put yourself among such desperate people with sometimes broken lives and poverty stricken futures and feel at home. Because you don't feel like you're one of them and you're life is very different. But everyone has a common enemy. The alcohol that is dragging their lives down. I suspect if you rounded up the contributors to this thread we would be as diverse as they come too.
There are other ways though. The GP said my practice can offer help if I need it. Perhaps you could try yours. Maybe putting your problem out their among close family and friends will help them to help you. They don't need all the details, just that your drinking is becoming overwhelming and you need their help.
I don't really have any answers. But I do have a hope that we can all have a go to have a happier relationship with alcohol. Keep up the good work.

As for myself, I had one small can of beer yesterday. Only one unit of alcohol. It wasn't a scheduled night so now I have to go out to dinner tonight and not drink if I want to meet my target. But I am delighted to have stopped at one. I could easily have done more but I decided to walk to the village shop and then I "put the kettle on" following up with the tv. I managed to distract myself for long enough that eventually the craving went away.

I think everyone is doing brilliantly and big pats on the head are needed.

February target is 17 AF days please.

Kind regards
Poppety:)