The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

Barny1979

24/31 AFDs :-)

debjay

Calling early for tonight 14/20 for tonight please. I've had a couple of drinks over the last 2 days so fairly confident to not drink tonight. Hope everyone is enjoying the Bank Holiday.

WantToBeSE

Evening Everyone. Thanks for the support

2/9 so far. It is literally 1 day at a time, or 1 minute at a time right now.

I spent an hour on the beach earlier, eating chips. Couldn't have driven there if i had been drinking. So feeling good about that.

It's Friday and Saturday nights that bother me most right now though. I always feel as though i need or deserve a 'treat'. I dont know what to use instead of alcohol.

graemecarter

WantToBeSE wrote: »

Evening Everyone. Thanks for the support

2/9 so far. It is literally 1 day at a time, or 1 minute at a time right now.

I spent an hour on the beach earlier, eating chips. Couldn't have driven there if i had been drinking. So feeling good about that.

It's Friday and Saturday nights that bother me most right now though. I always feel as though i need or deserve a 'treat'. I dont know what to use instead of alcohol.

I felt like that as well.
I didn't know what replaces booze in those situations, likewise I didn't know how to let off steam, celebrate, commiserate, etc without alcohol.

For me, I had to change sufficiently so I didn't feel the need to put a drug in my system so I could feel okay. That change was hard, and staying changed requires ongoing effort.

However, there are many upsides. Going through hard times or good times or average times without even the need to drink has been a godsend.
I went/go to meetings and that desire to drink alcohol has left me, so I don't feel I am missing out.

Good advice for me is if what I am doing is not working for me, I have to change what I am doing. It's the doing which is key, not what I am thinking, or wishing.

This thread works for many people. It's amazing.
However, I need more than just this. I asked for help and I received it. And like HB, my life has improved immeasurably since I stopped drinking.

Good luck and I hope you enjoy the Bank Holiday

graemecarter

Dizzy_Imp wrote: »

Super. Massive. Fail.
Hubby home and I'm four brandies down. Not good at all.

I cannot change any aspect of my past. No point in being down on myself about it. It's done and we have all done this many many times....
I can change my future however.
If I look at what happened and made an honest assessment of all the triggers, and then changed what I do, then I have a chance of not repeating it.
I could not think myself out of stopping drinking, despite my best intentions. I had to change my actions.
Good actions lead to good thinking.

Things that make us feel bad can be catalysts for adopting behaviours that make us feel good. Onwards.

Dansmam

Back from holiday and a) sorry to say not a single afd to log in, BUT and this is a good but, b) 7 days of just a beer and/or a glass of wine with a meal. This is how people who can manage drink drink. I am not one of them when not in their company and now I'm back I can see my best option is to get on the b****s blue to keep myself healthy, and greet each new day as a gift - to trash or treasure. My choice. Blue sky here today, but a way to go I know, will keep track on here, thanks for bearing with me on the way x

WantToBeSE

graemecarter wrote: »

I felt like that as well.
I didn't know what replaces booze in those situations, likewise I didn't know how to let off steam, celebrate, commiserate, etc without alcohol.

For me, I had to change sufficiently so I didn't feel the need to put a drug in my system so I could feel okay. That change was hard, and staying changed requires ongoing effort.

However, there are many upsides. Going through hard times or good times or average times without even the need to drink has been a godsend.
I went/go to meetings and that desire to drink alcohol has left me, so I don't feel I am missing out.

Good advice for me is if what I am doing is not working for me, I have to change what I am doing. It's the doing which is key, not what I am thinking, or wishing.

This thread works for many people. It's amazing.
However, I need more than just this. I asked for help and I received it. And like HB, my life has improved immeasurably since I stopped drinking.

Good luck and I hope you enjoy the Bank Holiday

Thanks graemecarter i appreciate the advice.

In the immediate term, i am just going to continue drinking the schloer and try and do things that i do enjoy, like reading, writing, watching some TV, maybe driving the 30 mins to the beach like last night, anything to relax me and keep me sober.

Honey_Bear

WantToBeSE wrote: »

It's Friday and Saturday nights that bother me most right now though. I always feel as though i need or deserve a 'treat'. I dont know what to use instead of alcohol.

What helps me is having something non-alcoholic to drink that I actually like. I worked my way through absolutely everything I could find stocked by the local supermarkets, looking for anything, anything at all that would satisfy me after 20 years of red wine or gin and tonic every night. I think there are some people who find that AF beer or wine is one temptation too far, so if you try it and it doesn't work for you, move on to something else. In the early days I also had a lot of tomato juice zazzed up with worcester sauce but I can only drink two highball glasses of that before the acidity catches up with me.

In the end the one that worked best for me was B£ck$ B1u£ (as posted here fairly frequently) and I have been known to drink four, which totals about 200 kcals and costs about £2, so absolutely nothing in comparison to what the booze did to me. Sainsbobs also sells a sparkling non-alcoholic white winey-type thing for high days and holidays but it's like most soft drinks, far too sugary for me to drink regularly but I can sank a bottle on my own on Christmas Day and my birthday.

Quite a lot of pubs now sell AF beer/wine, even some tiny independents. They charge roughly the same price as booze, but then their sugary soft drinks are hugely expensive, too, and they have to make their money somewhere so I'm not going to knock them - they cater for me, for which I am very, very grateful.

And you need treats - lots of treats. I treat myself to handmade chocolates, Twinks Hobnobs, boxes of raspberries, cape gooseberries - anything that works for you is what you need to help get you through the early stages of changing behaviour. I'm on a mission this week to make myself a coffee and walnut cake which is something I haven't done for at least 40 years. I treated myself to one in the C0=op the other day and it was far too sugary for my taste and not coffee-ey enough, so needs must, and the mixing bowl is about to get dusted off. (Don't think about trying to lose weight for the first few weeks of stopping boozing - that comes later, and I promise you it does - but we should only take on one challenge at a time.) Planning treats is a brilliant strategy and means you're not planning on relying on self-discipline which in my case used to be pretty unreliable.

The first few days are tough but each one is a massive victory. :T:T:T

Honey_Bear

Dansmam wrote: »

Back from holiday and a) sorry to say not a single afd to log in, BUT and this is a good but, b) 7 days of just a beer and/or a glass of wine with a meal. This is how people who can manage drink drink. I am not one of them when not in their company and now I'm back I can see my best option is to get on the b****s blue to keep myself healthy, and greet each new day as a gift - to trash or treasure. My choice. Blue sky here today, but a way to go I know, will keep track on here, thanks for bearing with me on the way x

That sounds like a plan! And if we're talking b****s blue, betweeen you and me I think we're allowed to :beer::beer::beer:!

Honey_Bear

25/31 please, Shaggy.