The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 13

Honey_Bear

I hope your OH is better now, but if not, then well on the way down the road to recovery.

maman wrote: »

I know I've improved hugely as I no longer drag people into bars during the day, quite happy with a coffee shop. Not fussed about drinking at lunchtime as it makes me sleepy and I want to enjoy the afternoons. No obsession with having a bottle in my hotel room. All good signs that I've cut down permanently.:)

I think that's a really good summation of what cutting down looks like on a holiday, Maman!

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

I think it was HB
Or Shaggy that gave the advice that if you're not drinking people are unlikely to notice that you're not on the same wavelength for the night.
I may try it. I'm not sure. I just know that I don't want the anxiety that group drinking brings to my life.
Some very not nice people in my office and I need to keep my true feelings in which is a difficult task with alcohol on board.

I've mentioned this several times over the last couple of years, PSL, and Shaggy may have too.

The trick is to make sure that they don't know you're not drinking alcohol because if there's a sniff, even the slightest whiff, of a problem in the team you're drinking with, some tw*t who wants to make trouble will use it to start bullying the person who wants to give their liver an evening off. And that gets worse over the evening as inhibitions are loosened by the booze, not better, sadly.

My strategy is to arrive late even if that means "Just nipping to the loo!" as you arrive or when the first order is placed to make sure you can order an AF drink to begin with. A tonic with lots of ice doubles for a G&T or vodka/tonic, an AF beer doubles for half of lager and an orange juice can be a vodka and orange, and after that I run out of ideas. Either way, it's really, really important that you don't allow anyone to buy you a drink and how you manage that is a matter of fast thinking and quick footwork, although there is always the 'I must just take this call' opt out as people are offering to buy you another one.

After everyone else has had two drinks I promise you they won't notice that you're not keeping up with them. (Alcohol dries out the back of the throat which is why people who drink feel compelled to take another sip. Softies don't do that, so while they're necking their booze you'll neither be able to keep up with them, nor will you want to.) Usefully, you'll have half a drink left while they're anxious to get a refill, so you don't need one yet, do you? Once you're out of the round-buying thing after the first two rounds you'll be fine saying you'll just get your own.

And after they've had three, you'll notice the change in their behaviour, particularly that they're a little less careful about being polite if they're part of the tension of the group. After four, that tension usually spills over a bit, and that's usually when it's a good idea to make tracks, frankly. If you're feeling the tension as well your patience will be wearing a bit thin, too.

Good luck with it.

Sounds like a normal night out with friends, WBF! I hope the fish and chips were lovely.

Lovesale, after nearly three years off the booze I can honestly say I've forgotten what a hangover feels like and that is such a relief! I now know that if I switch my light off by 11.30pm I wake up about 5.30am feeling great, and then have a lovely lie in (listening to the radio through an earpiece) before I start the day - every day. I forget to buy paracetemol and ibuprophen now, although when I need them I'm furious that OH has crunched them because although I don't get hangovers he still does. I know when he's going to have one because even my lovely OH nitpicks when he's had one too many, and that's how our arguments used to start when I drank - I'd just join in with the unpleasantness. I don't miss taking the bait and joining in, either, because it used to make me feel angry with him, and then along with the headache and general sludgieness in my soul and body the next day, remorse. Don't miss any of that.

15/31 please, Shaggy.

debjay

10/16 for tonight please.

loveasale

Dear HB , I'm sure speak on behalf of all of us on here who still drink ,, you are such a beautiful writer ,
your replies are from the heart and honest , without being judgmental , and supportive, thank you!

SHAGGY, how you keep a record of us all is beyond me ,, but I'm ,, along with everyone else glad you do !

9/16,,,, I think?

cathybird

11/21 for me today please.

Arkers

Good morning everyone,
11 AFD please Shaggy.
Arkers x

Honey_Bear

That's a lovely thing to say, LoveSale. I sometimes look at the length of my posts and cringe, but it feels like it needs to be said, so I do. Thank you.

Struggling with the idea of no sugar (cakes, biscuits, ice cream etc) during Lent. I forgot completely until it was too late the day before yesterday and then having fallen off the wagon made the fatal mistake of thinking, 'Oh well, I ate a packet of fruit pastilles yesterday so I may just as well buy (and eat) that packet of ginger chocolate bix.' Very much like, well, I've had one glass of wine, one more won't hurt .... And now I've baked two lots of cookies so unless I'm super-strong (which I'm generally not) they won't all end up in the tin tonight, either.

16/31 please, Shaggy though, so it's not all bad.

PriceySOS

12 please, Shaggy, ta

Eltee12

Heloo


10/21 for me please


( and can I have some pom-poms please Shaggy?)

fakeplastictwee

Afternoon all. Calling in early for 8/20 today please, as I'm exhausted. Went out to a quiz for 'a couple' last night and ended up drinking 3 pints and a G&T. My tolerance for pints has definitely dropped and I feel very tired and groggy today.

I think I may try to go for an AF weekend this week, although a friend did talk about going out for a drink for her birthday on Saturday, so I'll have to see.

debjay

11/16 for tonight please.