I need help please - financial crisis

MallyGirl

In that situation I would keep good records and reassign any presents your children get but don't particularly want. You don't want to be giving presents back to the original donor
I remember getting a lot of 'tatt' when my daughter was 7/8/9.
Tesco do some really cheap cards - as in several for £1 - so get some in so you don't get caught out and end up spending £2 at short notice. Plenty of bargain shops sell wrapping paper.
Book people is a good one - once you register with them there are frequently offers with free delivery for less than £25 orders.
Register for a TCB account and always check it before buying anything online.
Good luck

BeingMe

No, it's usually 20 parties between all three of my children. Plus there will be family parties too as I usually spend a bit more for these. We've only had one whole class party but as her birthday is in the summer holidays, about 20 children turned up.

I must admit that I do spend quite a bit on parties for my children (it varies each year). I haven't ever done a budget before and tend to view things like birthdays as a one off expense. My youngest daughter had a party in December at a playgym and this cost £160 not including the cake. My husband had agreed to pay half for this but he hasn't done so yet.

LannieDuck

I think the bookpeople is a great idea for gifts. Otherwise keep an eye on the grabbits board - there's a Tescos sale on atm for example. Lots of people are buying toys to use as gifts throughout the year.

Could your children make cards for their friends? They could do wrapping paper with potato printing too.

I can't remember how old your children are, but put your thinking cap on early for cheaper party ideas - maybe ask on the Families board. Some ideas:

* If they're young a 'traditional' at home party will be fine - pass the parcel, jelly, some silly games.
* When I was a young teenager we did a casino party - hired a roulette wheel from somewhere, set up some card games, then used monopoly money and let everyone choose a 'prize' at the end depending on how much they've managed to make over the course of the evening.
* A big sleepover always went down well with my friends for birthdays when we were 6-10ish. Or combine with a film and non-alcoholic cocktails for young teenagers?
* 5-8 year olds might like to make their own pizzas for tea, and decorate cupcakes to take home with them? Maybe combined with something like a bouncy castle in the garden.
* Teenagers could handle one of those murder-mystery-in-a-box games.

crafty_witch

Hi Being Me
Nothing to add in terms of practical advice but I too am an emotional spender so I completely know where you're coming from there. But the fact that you are aware that you are an emotional spender is more than half the battle

Well done for contacting the CSA, a 1,000 mile journey begins with the first step.

I think it's brilliant that you are looking to set a good financial example for your children and they will be non the worse for going with out things they want sometimes so long as they have everything they need. I had 4 children when I became a single parent, 3 of them have now grown up and left home, and the fact that they sometimes had to go without luxuries has actually prepared them better for the adult world in my opinion. They will also appreciate what they do have more.

Well done for facing this, I know from personal experience that it isn't easy, but you will get there:)

[Deleted User]

BeingMe wrote: »

No, it's usually 20 parties between all three of my children. Plus there will be family parties too as I usually spend a bit more for these.

So that's 20 friend's parties at, what, £10 to £15 a time?

That's £200 to £300

Add on the £160 for the playgym (£360 to £460 so far), then add on the family parties, and Christmas.

I really think you need to be cutting back, on going to birthday parties for all and sundry.

Frugalsod

MallyGirl wrote: »

In that situation I would keep good records and reassign any presents your children get but don't particularly want. You don't want to be giving presents back to the original donor
I remember getting a lot of 'tatt' when my daughter was 7/8/9.
Tesco do some really cheap cards - as in several for £1 - so get some in so you don't get caught out and end up spending £2 at short notice. Plenty of bargain shops sell wrapping paper.
Book people is a good one - once you register with them there are frequently offers with free delivery for less than £25 orders.
Register for a TCB account and always check it before buying anything online.
Good luck

I would add get some craft supplies in and they could make some.

in_need_of_direction

When mine were small and often forgot until last minute to pass on invitations, I used to keep a few generic presents that I picked up on sale. It saved the last minute panic and the expense. These were even novelty socks that had been reduced or hair accessories.

in_need_of_direction

Also, well done for making the break. Just don't let guilt blur your need for actions. CSA have a legal responsibility to assist you. Also, what happened to any assets from your marriage. Do you need to seek half of these? Maybe talk to a solicitor, most will give advice by way of initial consultation

pennypinchingpenguin

Hi, ive skipped some of this, got to where you said ex was financially abusive. So first let me say well done for leaving such a git! Also not only are you reclaiming your own life by taking charge of your vlife and your debt but you will also be teaching your children the value of money and love and respect for that matter. I just wanted to add re charity shops and eBay, always check ebay for something you may be buying. It may take time trawling through but the bargains are worth it. I recently decided to buy new cardigans for work in winter. Hated all the styles in the shops. In the end I got about 7 for less than £50. Have also in the past bought new doc boots and trainers for £20.
Try selling too. Every once in a while I wander through the charity shops. Once I paid £1.99 for a bottle of chloe perfume new in box, sold it for £25. I just found a perfume gift set that I had actually been looking for (its no longer sold I dont think) for £5! That saved me at least £25!
Occasionally uou can find new items too. I got a winter coat for £7. It had been stock from peacocks.
I dont know much about the rest - im learning too but good luck!

pennypinchingpenguin

Oooooo the kids gifts thing - if u can keep a gift box and an inventory. Figure out who you will need for, ages etc. Makes it easier to pick bits up as u go along. The only thing to watch out for is trends. So for example if you buy a barbie 5 months early, by the birthday time it might be bratz dolls that are 'in'. (I have a boy - no clue about girls!) Even if it gives you ideas it's easier to look out for things. If u have the time, use ebay to. The 'new' and 'price low to high' buttons are great!