How late did your child potty train?

fabforty

DS1 will be 3 years old in a few weeks and shows absolutely no sign of being potty trained, or being ready for potty training.
A bit of history - my son has a speech delay and was assessed as having a development delay as well (although I dispute this). During the assessment, the doctor snapped at him a couple of times and he failed to perform after that. He knows the alphabet, colours, numbers, can count to 30, recognises body parts and many animals and can do simple puzzles. He is due to be reassessed next month and I am confident that he will be caught up. His speech has improved significantly - he has a good vocabulary and speaks in (albeit short) sentences - and he has now been discharged from speech therapy. He was tested for Autism due to the speech delay, toe walking and limited joint attention but we have been told that they are 99% sure that is not on the spectrum.


So, with that background, I keep being told not to worry and that he will be ready 'when he's ready'. Logically I know that's correct but I feel that we should have progressed by now. I know that we shouldn't compare children but it feels like everybody else's child is potty trained except mine. We have stopped and started twice now as he simply wasn't getting it. He has no problem sitting on the potty (the toilet is too high for him, even with something to hold onto), but just won't pee in it and doesn't indicate when he wants to go or even when he has had peed or pooped.

I just wondered how late other children have been ready? He is due to start nursery next month and they are relaxed about it - saying that they are happy to take the lead once he starts if he hasn't already cracked it. I just feel that this is my job.

notanewuser

We waited until DD showed clearly that she was ready. She was 2.75 when we started and she got the hang of it really quickly. She's now decided she doesn't want nappies at night, so we're attempting night time training at 3 and a bit.

All of her peers are older than her, none have any developmental issues and we were the first to start. 2 out of 4 were over 3 before starting anything.

I really wouldn't push it - let your son lead you. I can recommended the Bo Cry Potty Training book for hints, tips and advice.

OrkneyStar

DS was 2 and a 3 months when we tried it, he got it in less than a week (well was staying dry by the end of the week), we noticed he was not wetting his nappies at night either so fairly shortly after he was in pants at night too. DS was a real nappy baby and there are some theories that it is easier with these, as the children are more aware of the wetness, than with sposies as they absorb the wetness so well-I do say it is a rumour though!!! I'd also be wary of pull ups, as they confuse imho- 'you have to use the potty, but actually no it's ok to pee in these if you forget'?
I know of some children earlier, say 18 months, some about the same time, and some a lot later, say closer to 4 (certainly some wore nappies to nursery and some certainly wearing them at night at that age). They are all different. Try it, give it a week or so, lots of pants/clothes to change, easy up trousers like joggers, if it doesn't work give it a break and try again. Reward charts can work for some kids, lots of praise, less 'rows' for mistakes. Best of luck.

ETA You may have seen this already but it makes good sense and just in case you haven't. http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/potty-training-tips.aspx#close

peachyprice

Three isn't late at all for a boy, most boys without any 'development delays' don't train before that age, it's really quite normal and those that say theirs were trained early are the exception.

There is no benefit in trying to train a child that isn't ready, and IMO, making a child sit on the potty half the day until they produce or chasing them around with a potty trying to catch the wee/poo (which is what some parents consider to be potty trained) is not the same as being toilet trained where the child actually learns what it feels like to need to go and can control their bladder enough to make it to the toilet.

Starting nursery will probably help him immensely, once he sees the other little boys using the toilet and not having to have their nappies changed it will give him the incentive to do the same.

Honestly, it's nothing to worry about and your little boy will not the the only child at nursery not trained.

OrkneyStar

peachyprice wrote: »

Three isn't late at all for a boy, most boys without any 'development delays' don't train before that age, it's really quite normal and those that say theirs were trained early are the exception.

There is no benefit in trying to train a child that isn't ready, and IMO, making a child sit on the potty half the day until they produce or chasing them around with a potty trying to catch the wee/poo (which is what some parents consider to be potty trained) is not the same as being toilet trained where the child actually learns what it feels like to need to go and can control their bladder enough to make it to the toilet.

I agree here, I thought DS was showing signs of being ready but was quite prepared to accept defeat and hold off for another wee while, if he wasn't getting it. The fact that he got it fairly quickly, day and night, showed us he was ready. We encouraged him to try, made it easier with clothing etc, but I quite agree there is no point in running around like a mad potty yielding loon! :eek::eek:

System

My girls I started at the age of 2 and they were pretty quick at picking it up. My boys were a lot slower in the speech and toileting department and I knew from experience not to even attempt it before they were 2 and a half.

At 3, 2 of my boys were still having the odd accident.

Counting_Pennies_2

Mine were two and a half and I had to do it as their preschools would not accept children in nappies.


Now thankfully my understanding is that preschools are not allowed to be that forceful and will accept nappy wearing children


In your situation I would suggest he starts his nursery and when the nursery think he is ready do it together.


Often seeing other children toddle off to the potty will encourage him to want to be the same as others and he might be willing to try then.


Don't see it as a failure. It will happen when all parties are ready

shelley_crow

I agree with everyone else, 3 isn't late.

DS1 was 3years and 4 months. We'd been trying since he was 2 but he wasn't interested. It was a couple of weeks before he was due to start nursery and he asked for his potty in the morning. He duly weed on the potty, on the same day he decided he didn't like the potty and did his business on the toilet from then. He had a couple of accidents but it seemed to "click" into place with him overnight. I was getting very concerned too but you can't force these things, they will do it in their own time.

Second time around, I was much more relaxed. We introduced a potty at around the same age as with DS1. DS2 is starting nursery tomorrow and has been dry in the day since he was just over 3 years 2 months. We've had more accidents with ds2 but I put that down to him trying to do it sooner. It also helped that he had his big brother to copy!

It is hard when your children are seen as being "older" children wearing nappies. I got some very dirty looks, mainly from older people,especially with DS1 when they saw his nappies. He's always been very tall for his age and was regularly mistaken for being 5 when he was 3. It might feel like he'll be in nappies forever but once he grasps the concept, it will happen really quick. Hang in there!

olgadapolga

I really don't think that you need to worry - neither of my boys showed any signs of being ready for toilet training until they were at least three and a half years old. We waited until we were certain that they were ready and it was done and dusted within a week - with my youngest son he was dry at night within that week as well (which astounded me); he clearly decided that once the nappies were off then they were staying off!

I think that people get way too hung up on toilet training and "getting it out of the way" asap; parents should just chill out a bit. As long as their children aren't starting school in nappies then what's the rush?

fabforty

Thank you for your replies. I know that I really should relax and stop worrying, but it's hard. However, I have to remind myself that 6 months ago I was worrying myself stupid over his speech delay and now you can't shut him up, so I guess there will always be something.

savingmummy

My son was just not ready at all and it become stressful for me and him.
I tried on and off from the age of 2-4
I left him in the end so much so he did his school induction day with a pull up on that was in the June (he was 4 in the May) he was due to start reception in the september!!
The school told me he needed to be out of nappies - he was the only one there with a pull up on and he knew too as he kept asking why noone else had one on once we got home.

Within a month he was dry and 4 months later was dry through the night.

At the time i was in a real panic BUT its so true once they catch on it just clicks!