13yr old son with no appetite / interest in food

Arthien

Whilst I agree that a trip to the Doctor's would be a good move (in the hope of finding one who will take your concerns seriously for a change!), I'd also say from experience that his eating habits may well change and improve as he grows older. My childhood best friend used to be the fussiest eater I've ever met (she only ate very plain food, usually processed, and no mixing of textures, flavours etc. No sauces or different colours were allowed). Her ideal meal would have been a small portion of chicken breast and a few chips. It was very difficult for my mum when I invited her over for tea, put it that way! She also used to be TINY and not very healthy-looking, and she never really seemed to have any interest or desire for food, and could happily go all day on one fruit chewee thing and a cracker.

Flash forward a decade or so and she is now one of the most adventurous people I know where food is concerned. I think it was primarily due to not wanting to embarass herself by being picky when her uni friends and flatmates cooked for her, and also having the opportunity to try food that had been prepared in a different way from how she usually had it at home. She also got a boyfriend who ate 'normally' (for want of a better phrase) and that definitely helped to open her mind to the possibility that she might like food that she previously would have just rejected outright, without even considering trying it.

Once you've eliminated any physical or emotional reason for the food problems, and sorted out the multi-vitamin issue if the dr agrees (which could explain the on-going teeth issues), then I'd say just let him be and just keep encouraging him to try different things without putting too much pressure on him. As he grows up his tastes will change and he may just surprise you. There's no point in sitting him down and trying to force him though, it just makes it a bigger issue. I remember sitting at the table for 2 hours once when my parents tried to insist that I ate my green beans before I could get down! It turns out that I like them when they're well-done, rather than crunchy, and now I actually eat them out of choice. Younger me would have been horrified! :rotfl:

retepetsir

I was diagnosed with coeliac disease at 18 years of age after having no visible side effects (other than being rather skinny!). I only found out when attempting to give blood and finding I was dangerously anaemic!

Not everyone has stomach pains/other issues so its worth considering

Mrs_Bones

Have you actually asked him why he doesn't want food? the answers he gives might help find some solutions.

I was a really picky eater when I was young. I sometimes wouldn't eat at all, other times I'd want the same meal for days on end then I'd suddenly go of that and end up mad about something else. I'd also eat very odd combinations of food. I know it drove her mad that I'd sometimes eat a roast dinner when out but would never touch the ones she cooked. After many years it clicked that it wasn't always the meat or veg I didn't like but the butter she put in the potatoes and the type of gravy she used, when she changed that I'd eat them, such simple things put me off the entire meal.

My mum got lots of supposed advice from 'friends' about how she should get me to eat, it never worked. Our old family doctor she took me too with her worries, wasn't concerned as I was eating somethings and wasn't showing any signs of being physically unwell. So that eating pattern carried on for years, and while I'm happy to say it got much better as I aged some of those things still remain on occasion, such as eating the same meal over and over again sometimes. I also now have an understanding of the problems I had/have but at your sons age it was difficult for all concerned.

It's very easy for people to say you have to take control and force the issue and get your son to eat but it's never that simple as my mum would tell you if she was still here. The old saying 'you can take a horse to water but can't make it drink' is rather apt, Maybe this is just a simple thing he'll grow out of or maybe not but too find solutions you first have to work out what the problem is and your son is the best person to help you with that and please don't write any of his reasons off as silly because to him they may not be.

The thing was nobody to my memory ever asked me why I didn't want food etc until much later in my life, if they did maybe we'd have worked some solutions out sooner but for my mum it was very much trial and error. It's easy for me now to say why I had those food problems when young or sometimes still do and when you understand the problem, solutions are often easier to find.

Problem = Solution

Sensitive to food taste including components of foods, such different butter in mash etc = try different brands of products.

Dislike of textures or mixtures of food = just being aware or portioning food differently.

Not wanting to eat = Just not hungry at the time meals are served, maybe preferring smaller meals to one main meal or vice versa or in my case it was often a case of my mind would be totally take over by a current interest of mine and food didn't figure in my thinking until I'd got bored with that idea.

Wanting to eat the same meal = Could be linked to the above or a comfort form of eating.

Visual associations with food = Try to adapt the food or change the associations, for example I still have problems with fish, I like the taste but if I have fish on a plate all I see is a fish swimming around but I can eat fish in a pie, as pate or on sandwiches etc. I have a similar problem with veg that grows under or at ground level but there are ways around all these things once you understand them.

Stephb1986_2

Just a crazy idea but I was talking to my niece yesterday who is quite a picky eater (I was asking what wedding meal she would eat) It turns out the reason she is like she is, is because she doesn't like the texture of some foods maybe it's something like that?

She won't eat mash as she doesn't like the texture but she's ok with chips..

Just a shot in the dark but might be worth a thought.

peachyprice

Mrs_Bones wrote: »

Visual associations with food = Try to adapt the food or change the associations, for example I still have problems with fish, I like the taste but if I have fish on a plate all I see is a fish swimming around but I can eat fish in a pie, as pate or on sandwiches etc.

That's really interesting, my daughter (mentioned a page or so back with the miniscule appetite) doesn't eat real meats and that's what she said to me. She'll eat nuggets/sausages and likes the taste and smell of it, but as soon as she sees it looking like part of an animal like a joint, leg, breast or on the carcass she just can't eat it.

squashy

I have a 14 year old daughter with a similar thing. She has a list of "safe" foods that she categorically will not veer from. It is a genuine phobia. Of the food she does eat, she sits and picks it apart looking for flaws in the meat. (It is just meat she eats, and then only "pure" cuts, no processed meats such as sausages). She eats bread products but not in big quantities. She "likes" green peppers and onions but to her this means one 2mm nibble of a raw slice only. A little fruit- banana and a certain type of apple, one or two bites. No cooked veg, no potatoes (not even chips), no rice, no pasta, no beans or pulses

For years I have worried about this and eventually she ended up with CAHMS counselling. It wan't easy to come by though as they would say she was quite underweight but appeared to tick a box in each food group, despite only having miniscule portions.

We discovered she genuinely fears other foods will make her sick and it is much to do with textures (she is deaf so possibly heightened senses in this area). We have had wonderful advice from them on how to deal with her and I am pleased to say that our actions as parents in recent years have helped her loads.

Then, we would nag and push. Meals used to take literally hours. Now, she is happy at the dinner table, we don't comment on what she does or doesn't eat, we occassionally add a teeny bit of something new to her plate e.g. a teaspoon of rice, she very rarely tries it but one day she might. To us, her food is boring, to her it is functional but no longer a cause of stress. She cooks a little now too often independently. She eats a lot of chocolate and drinks a lot of milk for the sheer calories (under the advice of the hospital). We are careful to give this at times that do not affect her ordinary meals, although if we go for lunch in a cafe she will just have a big piece of cake whilst we eat a panini. She hasn't yet let learnt to eat any new foods but I am confident we have rescued her from having any full on eating disorders as she goes into her mid teens.

Have a read of this page, it is brilliant & will help you to understand loads about how your child feels! http://mealtimehostage.wordpress.com/2013/09/11/12-things-selective-eaters-want-you-to-know/

notisis

A colleague had a similar problem with her age 14 son. In desperation she took him to a homeopath. After taking the remedies for about a week his appetite increased. He is now a strapping lad. Apparently it was something to do with flu he'd had years earlier and all the antibiotics he'd been prescribed - or that's how I understood it - suppressing the immune system. No idea if any basis in science but worked for them. Of course you need to be willing to consider it, pay for it and have a willing teenager!

igaveupnowimback

Friend' son was like this until diagnosed with Gilbert's Syndrome at @ 21. Zero interest in food, wouldn't have eaten from one day to next if she'd let him. Some docs say GS has no symptoms, I found a few online groups reporting same issues. He has learned to eat because he HAS to. Own son T1 diabetic, don't think your son sounds same. GS worth a look up. Sorry clumsy grammar, battery low and am cramming !

Lunar_Eclipse

Some very interesting replies.

OP: how did you get on at the doctor's yesterday? Any joy?

pingufan

Hi all, thanks for all your replies. Just popping back to say I took him to the GP yesterday. Saw a different doctor to whom weve seen in the past.

He checked him all over thoroughly, asked him many questions, weighed him (he's 6st) and declared him apparently all fit and well. Yes, he's thin he agreed but he has a good covering of muscle and he's started puberty etc so he feels that hormonally everything ok.

He took on my concerns about food and asked what types he eats - he agreed that although he doesnt eat any vegetables, the list of foods I reeled off was enough to satisfy him that he's getting a reasonable selection, even though the amounts are small.

He had a good chat with DS and explained that at his age he should know that having a good diet is important for growth and wellbeing. DS just said that he feels he eats enough (eats until he's full and then no more), DS said theres nothing worrying him, he's not unhappy and he's definitely not making himself sick - GP said that if everyone was the same then there would be far less obesity (whilst eyeing my size 16 frame lol) Basically he wasn't overly concerned and suggested that little and often food wise would be better but If I'm not happy in 3 months or thing deteriorate then to bring him back.

So, we have agreed that little and often is the answer and we'll try that - Its going to be a pain but If thats what it takes to give him the calories then thats what I'll do. Thanks everyone x