Facebook Age

AcidHouse

I can understand you want him to be safe online, but if you keep saying no, one day he might just set a profile up on a computer away from home, and he'll never tell you he's on it, so if it were me I'd take control of it by letting him set up a profile, but be clear on how to keep safe on there as well.

Why not start with getting one of your own friends that uses FB a lot to show you all of the available privacy settings on there & how FB works in general. Or even better, get them around to help him set it up properly, or get him to invite one of his own friends over to your place to set it up.

Just a final point on FB though as it's not parent-friendly...

My friend asked me to add her young son on FB so I could help her monitor his posts, as she was 'friends' with him on there as well - but I pointed out two things regarding what happens when you post a status update / photo to FB:

1) you can set the privacy settings for each post as you write it, by excluding certain people from being able to see it, simply by typing in their names or slotting your friends list into groups (i.e. you can block your mom / dad etc from things you don't want them to read)

2) once you've posted something, you can hide it from your timeline - which means if your parents log in as you into your account, they still won't be able to see that you posted it, but your friends that weren't blocked from seeing it in their timeline, will still see the post.

In other words, you can cover up what you are doing, so if a parent has access to the childs' account, it's still hard for them to know what's really been posted on there.

I suspect my young cousins profile pages look really bare due to the above - I'm sure I'm being blocked from their posts as I'm in constant touch with their parents & would be seen as someone who would blow the whistle on them if I think they are up to no good etc, but that's the way it goes I'm afraid!

Good luck with however you decide to deal with this, I don't think it's something worth arguing over if he can set it up himself behind your back x

A_Flock_Of_Sheep

Thanks for all your help. I am an oldie and not into Facebook and yes the media has portrayed it as negative.

I have never had children but agreed to let him live with me due to problems at home. So I guess I still think of my childhood and how I was raised.

No I am not controlling I just hope to do the right thing.

Hermia

A_Flock_Of_Sheep wrote: »

Thanks for all your help. I am an oldie and not into Facebook and yes the media has portrayed it as negative.

The thing to remember is that Facebook, and social media in general, is not some strange evil alien entity. It's just people. It has the same pros and cons of normal society. Some people are amazing and generous and wonderful on there and some are utterly appalling. You take the same precautions as you would in real life. In my experience the sort of people who leave themselves open to problems on Facebook are the ones who behave like that in real life too.

Personally I really wish social media and the internet had been round when I was a kid. I was horribly isolated because I loved the arts and theatre and books, but knew no one who liked those things in real life because of the sort of area I lived in. My teenage years would have been so much easier if I could have known that there were other teens out there like me.

rachiibell

Tbh he is at the age where I would of thought he'd just set up one in secret anyway. Might be better to allow it so you can get a bit of control over it.

*Louise*

I set up my son's account when he was 13. The conditions were that I know his password and I was a friend. We had a chat about staying safe and not 'following the crowd'

He doesn't use it all that much and I would only ever check it if there was a serious need- if I thought he was being bullied or something.

Instagram and snapchat seem to be more popular than Facebook these days though.

fluffnutter

I read about a mother who allows her teenage kids fb accounts but they have to be friends with her. She's not allowed to like or comment on their pages but she does get to see what's being written. I'm not arguing either way whether this works for everyone but it's something to consider I guess.

securityguy

A_Flock_Of_Sheep wrote: »

OK so people who are parents the minimum age limit for Facebook is 13. How many of you let your children have a profile at that age. My Nephew who lives with me is 15 this month and so far I have said no to Facebook.

He's got an account anyway, obviously. I know several sets of parents who noisily tell all and sundry that they are protecting their children by "forbidding" and "banning" Facebook, but my children report that in each case the children are avid users. Life's too short to puncture the silly parents' bubble.

Hermia

securityguy wrote: »

He's got an account anyway, obviously. I know several sets of parents who noisily tell all and sundry that they are protecting their children by "forbidding" and "banning" Facebook, but my children report that in each case the children are avid users. Life's too short to puncture the silly parents' bubble.

I love the naivety of these sorts of parents! Don't they remember doing things behind their parents backs when they were a teen?!

securityguy

Schadenfreude aside, it always strikes me as a ludicrous way for parents to behave. It means that if something does go wrong, the child has to explain what they were doing using FB before they get to talk about the bullying (or whatever) that's occurred. So in reality, they'll conceal the whole thing, which rarely ends well.

fluffnutter

Absolutely. Far better to have an inkling of what your kids are up to even if you don't like it.