People are funny...

noelphobic

My son's father got married without telling him (not to me and we had long since split up!) I think it was quite a while after that he told him.

red_devil

People are like this when a death occurs too.

paulineb_2

Some people are just private, nothing wrong with that.

FBaby

There could be many reasons, and they could have nothing to do with your brother. Most likely, they only got married because of the French law, not that they are not committed to each other, just that marriage, let alone wedding was a big deal to them but for the consequences of not being married. They didn't want to spend money on the ceremony, so did it quietly and cheaply. They didn't tell anyone because they knew that their decision would otherwise be questioned, just as you are doing now, even if not directly to them and they didn't want to have to say to everyone that they only got married to avoid tax inheritance or whatever it is because again, people could have judged them for getting married for this reason.

Errata

margaretclare wrote: »

Yes, that's exactly my point.

They may have told others, they certainly told the cousin. Perhaps your OH isn't as close to his brother as he believes he is.

GwylimT

We didn't really bother telling anyone when we got married, we did it on a weekend with my neighbours as witnesses, we only got married so my partner could adopt my son, otherwise we wouldn't have bothered.

marisco_2

As someone on the outside looking in it would appear that yourselves and your bil are not that close, nor that you share the same views on how to handle major life events. Just because he chose not to include you in his plans, does not mean it wasn't a happy or special occasion for him and the lady he married.

noelphobic

red_devil wrote: »

People are like this when a death occurs too.

Good point - I only found out that an aunt and an uncle had died by chance, months after the event. (They died separately and were in-laws to each other.)

Mojisola

FBaby wrote: »

There could be many reasons, and they could have nothing to do with your brother. Most likely, they only got married because of the French law, not that they are not committed to each other, just that marriage, let alone wedding was a big deal to them but for the consequences of not being married.

If it was mainly for administrative reasons, it's the equivalent of writing a will or taking out an insurance policy. It's the kind of thing you might mention in conversation to people but not something you'd phone all your relatives to tell them.

ERICS_MUM

I think it's romantic - their own secret that nobody knows about (well, we all do now but YKWIM).

I hope they continue to live a happy life together.

EM