What would you do Next Year?

*max*

Nothing makes for a good christmas like a slightly deranged relative who has been stewing over a perceived wrong-doing from a year ago. :T

Tiglath

Noctu wrote: »

I didn't bother with family I normally bother with at Christmas due to their actions throughout the year just gone and it was great - a chilled out Christmas Day with no drama.

Next year we'll be doing the same, or even going out for dinner!

Same here - it's been the best Christmas in 15 years. I used to get a knot in my stomach every year thinking that I only get 2 days off for Christmas and it would be taken up with arguments, sulking, dramas and control-freakery. No more - I didn't see my 'family' at all and it was wonderful. Had a 2 minute phonecall with my mother and she still managed to get in a few moans about my BIL, so I left them all to it. I shall do the same from now on.

MrsAtobe

Thanks everyone for trying to give me some perspective. This bad feeling has been going on for almost a year now. I had warned my sister that their constant comments were not appreciated, that we were adults, and could choose where we wanted to live, but my BIL wouldn't let it lie, and yes, he got told to do one.

We moved into our new home in March, and my BIL hasn't once stepped foot in it, despite my OH helping him when they bumped into each other at the tip. My OH has apologised for the manner that he told BIL to keep his nose out, but as I say, I had warned my sister that it was going to happen.

There is a reason why he kept harping on, he wanted to buy a house he part owned in the village that I was living in at the time, to make his life easier. The house wasn't right for us, it has a tiny kitchen with three doors leading off it, it needed too much major work and was priced too high for us. It still hasn't sold, so it's now being rented out.

pollypenny

Maybe your sister and BIL want to keep present buying just for the younger generation.

Are they having to watch the pennies?

MrsAtobe

pollypenny wrote: »

Maybe your sister and BIL want to keep present buying just for the younger generation.

Are they having to watch the pennies?

I bumped into my sister when I was buying one of the BIL's presents and no mention was made of the fact that she wanted present buying to be just for the younger generation. No, they are definitely not having to watch the pennies!

brunettifan

I would invite them all round after Christmas and clear the air.

jellyhead

How old is the youngest niece? Perhaps young enough to be forgiven for not thanking you, especially if she hasn't been brought up to thank people.

I think you can just buy for the children - many families do things that way, including mine. The children may or may not give you a gift back - they do in my family.

balletshoes

If you dont want to buy for your sis and BIL anymore, dont. tell them well before next xmas that you,d rather just buy for your nieces, and do that.

AcidHouse

Purchasing a house (first time or not) is such a huge & personal decision, nobody else can possibly pick a property/location for you & make you buy it, did your BIL really think you can be led (literally) down his intended garden path for his benefit?! Sounds like it's up to your sister to sort this one out, she's the one that's married to him. Rather than worrying about gift etiquette I'd be more concerned in sorting out whether or not I want a relationship with my sister in 2014 (which I'm sure you probably do) and that's the most important thing to sort. Why not invite her for a quick catch up after work one of the nights if that's geographically possible so you can chat to her alone and ask what's up with BIL. Good luck x

MrsAtobe

AcidHouse wrote: »

Purchasing a house (first time or not) is such a huge & personal decision, nobody else can possibly pick a property/location for you & make you buy it, did your BIL really think you can be led (literally) down his intended garden path for his benefit?! Sounds like it's up to your sister to sort this one out, she's the one that's married to him. Rather than worrying about gift etiquette I'd be more concerned in sorting out whether or not I want a relationship with my sister in 2014 (which I'm sure you probably do) and that's the most important thing to sort. Why not invite her for a quick catch up after work one of the nights if that's geographically possible so you can chat to her alone and ask what's up with BIL. Good luck x

Thanks, AcidHouse, yes the BIL didn't get his own way and threw his toys out of the pram. If she comes up here, invited or not, it is always with one of my nieces in tow, unfortunately, but if ever she comes up on her own, I will sit her down for a heart to heart. I don't want to not have her in my life, but there are times when she gets very overbearing and didactic, as does BIL - it's their way or the highway, if you know what I mean. The younger niece is a teenager, so well able to send a text message to thank us for her gifts, we have seen her since Christmas Day and she still didn't say thank you.

BTW, to all the other posters, this isn't a generational thing, let's only buy for the kids, I really thought I'd made that clear when I posted this morning at 10:10 in post #16...