cohabiting - what would you do?

thequant

Errata wrote: »

The money situation is so completely out of balance, I'd suggest a sensible way forward would for both of you to separately take sound legal advice and base your discussions on that.
It's hard to believe she doesn't have as much as a red cent to put down as a deposit, and I think you need to understand the reasons for that.

He needs to look forward to being able to screw his GF every night when she moves in, not screwing her out of every penny he can get.

bobcratchit

Errata wrote: »

The money situation is so completely out of balance, I'd suggest a sensible way forward would for both of you to separately take sound legal advice and base your discussions on that.
It's hard to believe she doesn't have as much as a red cent to put down as a deposit, and I think you need to understand the reasons for that.

Because she works in the arts and lives in London and also rents. It's very, very difficult to save.

milly_blue

I own my house and my OH pays me rent, which is less than half of all out-goings. This arrangement has been happening for over two years now.
I previously owned the house with another person and because of unequal initial deposits had a declaration of trust drawn up which was the best thing ever considering we fell out and I ended up buying their share. We had never lived together before and lasted a year.. since that mistake I have always wanted to protect my own interests!

Mojisola

milly_blue wrote: »

I own my house and my OH pays me rent, which is less than half of all out-goings.

since that mistake I have always wanted to protect my own interests!

If the out-goings include the mortgage, then you might not be as well protected as you think.

silvercar

With unequal incomes you are always going to be subsidising to an extent. The bottom line is always that the lower earner is living in a property they couldn't afford if they were sharing equally. Likewise with lifestyles, if the lower earner paid exactly half of all household bills, they may not be able to afford to eat/ live etc Its a lifestyle choice, you are hardly going to go to the theatre together and sit in your comfy stalls seat and send the lower earner to the back of the highest tier because that is the only seat they could afford. The other option is to live a lifestyle afforded by the lower earner, so cheap housing, eat out at McD's and the cinema once a month at the same time as squirreling away a large amount of savings.

kev225

The way I see it, if you were single you'd pay the full £1100 each month, probably more.
If she were renting a place with a friend she'd pay what £700 a month? (don't know your area, just guessing).

So any arrangement should leave you both benefiting, you've got to remember that you're both doing each other a favour.

I'd have her set up a standing order for exactly half of the direct debit bills (gas, elec, phone, internet, tv license, council tax, water) I'd guess about £140, and then she pays for all the food shopping/takeaways, could easily be £60 a week.

She's about £400 a month, you're about £950. Your house means she pays less to live, her contribution means you spend less and eat well, the balance isn't skewed too much either way.

Make the most of it :beer: