cohabiting - what would you do?

Talc1234

She will be entitled to what she puts in, same as you.

I really wouldn't be so hardarse about it or you will end up living there alone

FTB-FTW

Talc1234 wrote: »

She will be entitled to what she puts in, same as you.

I really wouldn't be so hardarse about it or you will end up living there alone

Completely agree.

My partner and I bought together. He had saved a £50k deposit, I only had about £2k I was able to stump up towards legal fees. Nonetheless we split the mortgage and bills equally. The fact that he works in an industry that pays well and I do not was not something we felt should affect our living situation.

Either you're doing this together or you're not. The way we did it ensures that as long as we do stay together, this is OUR home. We did however buy as tenants-in-common so that in the event hat we did split, he would own a larger share.

Some of the suggestions here are incredibly harsh and had my partner told me he wanted me to live as his "lodger" when we bought, I doubt we would still be together. I know plenty of couples (married AND cohabiting) who actually own equally, even when one partner did contribute a lot less, too. I don't personally think that is fair, but you don't have to go completely the other way either.

For the record, I think that married couples should approach buying in exactly the same way.

Kynthia

Are you buying together or are you buying and you both will be living together? It's an important distinction and changes what actions to take. So have a chat together and work this out first.

If you are buying on your own and she is going to live with you then you need to consider protecting your asset from any future claim and she needs to protect herself from paying money into an asset she has no claim on. She'd is not legally your lodger as you will be living as a household. It's also not fair to charge her half the bills, mortgage, decoration and repairs when she is left with nothing should you split. That doesn't necessarily mean she lives there rent free either but come up with a fair amount of reduced 'contribution' together. Also I might be wrong but a deed of trust is usually when buying jointly but a cohabitation agreement might suit your needs (google on Shelter's site).

If buying jointly with the intention if splitting all bills, mortgage and maintenance costs but you want to protect your deposit then get a deed of trust. You can either own unequal percentages or have it that you get your deposit back and any remaining equity is split between you. Don't forget to put in there what happens if the house is worth less and what happens if you break up. So both discuss this and come to an agreement. This all is the same even if it's all just in your name but the intention is that you are in it together.

I'm sure you both want to protect each other as you love each other so the best thing to do is make sure you are both clear on what the plan is and what it is you both want out of it. Misunderstanding and lack of communication is the enemy.

lee111s

FTB-FTW wrote: »

Completely agree.

My partner and I bought together. He had saved a £50k deposit, I only had about £2k I was able to stump up towards legal fees. Nonetheless we split the mortgage and bills equally. The fact that he works in an industry that pays well and I do not was not something we felt should affect our living situation.

Either you're doing this together or you're not. The way we did it ensures that as long as we do stay together, this is OUR home. We did however buy as tenants-in-common so that in the event hat we did split, he would own a larger share.

Some of the suggestions here are incredibly harsh and had my partner told me he wanted me to live as his "lodger" when we bought, I doubt we would still be together. I know plenty of couples (married AND cohabiting) who actually own equally, even when one partner did contribute a lot less, too. I don't personally think that is fair, but you don't have to go completely the other way either.

For the record, I think that married couples should approach buying in exactly the same way.

I don't think they're buying together. From what I can see he's buying and she will be living with him. Her name won't be on the mortgage or deed so therefore he's wise not to have her contribute towards the mortgage payments!

bobcratchit

Thankyou all so much for all the advice and I'm sorry if I haven't replied to you all.
I think I've conflated issues (ie names on the mortgage vis a vis what contributions can be made) which has made things more complicated in my mind and myself and girlfriend need to sit down more and chat but reading all these posts here has been invaluable.

My gut feeling is now to have joint names on the mortgage, split things 50/50 on bills and repayments and have my deposit protected with a deed of trust. Will also investigate more the 'tenants in common' way of doing things. All this of course will be done in conversation with my partner.

getmore4less

Toadeh wrote: »

Could you not do a deed of trust to start with? so the first 200k is yours, anything after that is shared?

That is the same as an interest free loan of £100k loan to the OH(if they split the mortgage 50:50).

getmore4less

bobcratchit wrote: »

Thankyou so much for all your advice. I'm still trying to work out the best way ahead as I do want everything to be equitable but I suppose it's not an exact science. My gut feeling is that if she paid a suitable amount that went to paying part of the mortgage (through rent or whatever) then I think she would be rightly entitled to any increase in the house value (if it did go up) but then how would that be divided if we split and one of us stayed in the flat. Or maybe that's way too complicated!!

It's very easy to get this right.

I have posted on here many times how to do it so do a bit of searching.

if you split the mortgage 50:50 on £350k with your £200k deposit

the split is 275:75

any improvements capital investments must be done at that %

Mortgage payments and overpayments 50:50

it just works.

getmore4less

An easy way to decide what are "running costs" and "ownership" cost is to think about a house share situation.

All things things you would pay in a house share are shareable costs

Those the landlord would be responsible for are ownership.

Some lodger situations do it as a share or some do as a AI inc some/all bills etc.



If you have an income imbalance it can get a bit more complicated.

there are other ways off account to redress the balance if you want to keep the house hold more 50:50, things like holidays and going out.

The trick is not to create a big imbalance between disposable income after costs by expecting equal payments when one can afford a lot more than the other.

hazyjo

bobcratchit wrote: »

Thankyou all so much for all the advice and I'm sorry if I haven't replied to you all.
I think I've conflated issues (ie names on the mortgage vis a vis what contributions can be made) which has made things more complicated in my mind and myself and girlfriend need to sit down more and chat but reading all these posts here has been invaluable.

My gut feeling is now to have joint names on the mortgage, split things 50/50 on bills and repayments and have my deposit protected with a deed of trust. Will also investigate more the 'tenants in common' way of doing things. All this of course will be done in conversation with my partner.

So what happens if you split up? She will then have an interest in the property. Would you have money to 'pay her off'? I would buy on my own, not add anyone, and let them 'rent' off me (but then I've got two ex husbands behind me so am probably a bit cynical lol). If she's that keen to own property, let her save her own deposit and then buy into yours or move again in a few years' time and buy together.

Be prepared to have to sell it if you split up if you add her name and don't have cash to give her...

Jx

firsttimeforeverything_2

'Either you're doing this together or you're not.'

I think this post highlights one of the issues here nicely: either the OP happens to be buying at the time when he is going out with his girlfriend, or they are buying it 'together'.

In the former case, I think it's completely fair enough for him to suggest that his girlfriend be similar to a lodger, albeit it with favourable rates or whatever arrangement they work out on this basis. It will be his house.

In the latter case, the OP should possibly be concentrating only on what happens should they split- it will be their house, but if he wants to protect his deposit or higher repayments, etc, it is his prerogative to do so.


Edit: just noticed that Kynthia made pretty much the same point. Sorry! Kynthia- you give good advice.