Treating kids Younger than they are.

Rebecca01

Following on from another thread. Do any members of your family treat your children as younger than they really are? If so how do they respond to it?

We have a whatsapp group text message set up between OH, his 2 daughters , me, and MiL in America. MIL has just sent a text asking the girls if they have been to see Santa? They are nearly 14 and 11!
OH burst out laughing.
The girls haven't responded yet but I can imagine it being LOL Gramma.

Another time,my sister,my cousin and I when we were 25 were put at a kids table at a family wedding with a lot of kids under 10. We just shook our heads. I remember my friend at the time said she would have been upset. We even had a beaker for orange juice!

Some people never see children as growing up. Does anyone else have experiences of this?

Errata

Until the day she died my mum often treated me as if I was 10 - 'are you wearing a vest etc' - bless her.

triple_choc_chip

I'm nearly 54 and my mum obviously believes I'm a 10 year old paraplegic! If I actually get to do anything, like tidying or washing up, she apologises!

When she stays over, she even recommends what time I should be going on to bed because I have an early start in the morning!

Spendless

My FIL once turned up on our doorstep to complain he hadn't been able to get through to us on the phone and he was worried! He lives in the same village as us, I'd been chatting to an old workmate having a catch -up and hubby mobile wasn't charged

We were in our 40s with 2 kids of our own!

ska_lover

wow , if at 25 I had been put on a kids table, with a beaker of juice, I am afraid I would have had the devil in me, and filled my beaker of vodka and started a party!!

Liz3yy

When I was in my early 20's my gran bought me a huge toy dragon as a Xmas present.....all I could manage as I opened it was a small smile and quiet thank you

tiernsee

When I was in my teens an aunt sent me a card to a sweet boy of 5, not sure what I was more upset about the age or gender discrepancy!

Rebecca01

ska_lover wrote: »

wow , if at 25 I had been put on a kids table, with a beaker of juice, I am afraid I would have had the devil in me, and filled my beaker of vodka and started a party!!

We swopped it for a wine glass and drowned our sorrows. Lol

Billie-S

LOL, OP, I think you're going to get a LOT more responses from people who have family who treat THEM like they are kids still

Me personally: I was the youngest of 6 cousins - all only 7-8 years apart - all born in the late 50s-mid 1960s. From a very early age, I was treated like I was stupid and childish and naive. Even though the cousin closest to me was only 6 months older than me.

At family gatherings, I was rarely listened to, as I obviously didn't know much. They laughed when I got a steady boyfriend in my late teens, because it was obviously 'funny,' and when I was getting married, they said 'OMG you? Why?' And that was hilarious too - as apparently, I had a lot of growing up to do before getting married.

And when I said I was pregnant with my first child, (in my late 20s!) my uncle said 'this should be a laugh!' when I was right there in earshot. They thought I wasn't really capable of raising children. They are 18 and 19 now and both at uni BTW, and amazing, kind, intelligent, hard-working young people. My cousins now say that I needn't think I'm anything special because my kids are at uni and their's didn't go. Ummmmm, I never said I was.

Also, I passed my driving test in my early 20s, and only one other of my cousins can drive. My mother said that my aunt said 'it's quite easy to pass.'

And one of my older cousins - 4 years older - heard me swear in a nightclub once (when I was about 22,) and came home and told my mother! She gave me a right telling off for it!

Oh, and this one time - about 10 years ago - (I was about 40: ) I stuck my finger up at a man who nearly ran me over on a zebra crossing, and unbeknownst to me, my cousin was going past on the bus, and saw me. She went on to tell the whole family, and said to me when she saw me that they were all quite shocked and disgusted by 'what I did.' The cousin who saw me, (the one who is 6 months older than me,) has a partner who is in and out of prison, 5 kids with 4 fathers, and 2 daughters pregnant at 16 and 13, her brother got sacked for stealing from his employer, and my aunt stole £2K from my uncle 5 years ago, but it was hushed up when he discovered it was her, and THEY are all shocked and disgusted that I gave a dangerous driver the bird! :rotfl:

When my cousin said they were shocked by my 'appalling' behaviour; my husband said 'you don't know her at all do you?' She just shook her head, and walked away. No she doesn't know me. I'm just the cousin/niece who is just there, and who nobody is really interested in, because I don't know anything, and am still a silly, naive 10 year old who should be seen and not heard.

They have no idea that I am a funny, kind, creative, intelligent ambitious woman who has quite a few talents and a lot to offer. I am very loyal and a very good friend. I don't live near them now, and (not surprisingly) have very very little to do with that part of the family.

I have contact with my husband's side of the family who are really nice people, and also a small handful of my extended family who live away from the area that I grew up in (with the rest of the family who treated my like a kid all the time.) These other family members treat me the way I deserve, and are completely different to the family I grew up with. Funnily enough, these other 6 or 7 family members have very little to do with these other 10 or so family members either.

Sorry, went off on a tangent there :rotfl: It just reminded me of how I was treated like a kid that knows nothing. Doesn't happen now, as I don't entertain these people, but I still remember it.

GobbledyGook

I have the opposite problem. My 3 1/2 year old is above average height wise so people expect the behaviour of a 5/6 year old from him. I have the same issue with DD1. The children get very frustrated by it and people sometimes look at me like I'm an over-protective mum who lets her kids away with murder if I step in.

nickj_2

i'm in my late 40's and i'm sure my mother when she looks at me still sees me as an eight year old , coming out with stuff like don't work too hard , wrap up warm , etc etc , i tend not to answer her when she says this as it is really annoying