Do you buy when you disagree?

MarcusAurelius

Hi,

Some people say that you should only buy when you are 110% certain that you want that property.

My missus likes it while I'm lukewarm.

The only factor that may convince me is that the longer you wait the more you have to pay.

Yes, it's one of the biggest purchases of our life, but can sell it or rent it out if it there won't be a love relationship between me and the property.

Thoughts?

bap98189

A house is the most expensive item most people will ever buy. It's also where you spend most of your time. If it's not exactly what you want then keep looking. There are plenty of houses for sale.

I don't understand what you mean when you say the longer you wait the more you have to pay. Are you suggesting that by looking for another month or so you will have to pay more for a house? Houses do go up and down in value but not that quickly!

DaftyDuck

The only thing to do is discuss, discuss, discuss. Don't try to twist each other's arms (imagine the glowering if one of you proves the other wrong!).

Although a house doesn't always hold that magic "I-want-to-live-there-now-and-forever" feel, it can be the most sensible, rational, economic and logical decision.

We view through cold, boring logic, and it works. I have a vast sheet of what we want from a house, and what weight/scoring we give each. When we view a house, we mark down how we each score it, pros and cons, and see what it scores.

Admittedly, we often then screw up that sheet, and go and do something else... However, it does help us weed out some properties that we might otherwise initially chase - or even make an expensive and rash decision on.

I'm well-known for being a bit OCD, but I'd have to admit that there are over eighty criteria on our list at the moment, ranked from +5 to -5. Oh, and the list grows with experience each time we move.

Well, at least it stops us arguing! :rotfl:

weeg

DaftyDuck wrote: »

The only thing to do is discuss, discuss, discuss. Don't try to twist each other's arms (imagine the glowering if one of you proves the other wrong!).

Although a house doesn't always hold that magic "I-want-to-live-there-now-and-forever" feel, it can be the most sensible, rational, economic and logical decision.

We view through cold, boring logic, and it works. I have a vast sheet of what we want from a house, and what weight/scoring we give each. When we view a house, we mark down how we each score it, pros and cons, and see what it scores.

Admittedly, we often then screw up that sheet, and go and do something else... However, it does help us weed out some properties that we might otherwise initially chase - or even make an expensive and rash decision on.

I'm well-known for being a bit OCD, but I'd have to admit that there are over eighty criteria on our list at the moment, ranked from +5 to -5. Oh, and the list grows with experience each time we move.

Well, at least it stops us arguing! :rotfl:

I would love to see that list!

I cannot afford the kind of flat/ house I love in anything approaching an area that I want to live in. So, whatever we buy will be a compromise, and I'm better at compromising than my bloke, so I'll compromise more. I'm less flexible with the location than the property. I can fix most things I don't like about a property.

I appreciate I'm way more laid back than your average house buyer though.

ACG

I think it really depends. Is this a house for a few years or a final house?

I bought my/our house without really asking my mrs. I seen it on rightmove called and put an offer in whilst we were negotiating i took her to see it. It was such a good price i knew i could sell it and make a good profit from it 3-4 years down the line. The house itself is fine, it has everything we need at this stage but its not a perfect house - it was a good investment.

The reason i asked the question above was if its a 5 year fix then do you really need to be 100-110%? The next house i buy will be one we live in for the next 20-30 years, its important we are both happy with the location and layout of that property - anything else can be changed without too much hassle.

Mojisola

DaftyDuck wrote: »

Although a house doesn't always hold that magic "I-want-to-live-there-now-and-forever" feel, it can be the most sensible, rational, economic and logical decision.

We view through cold, boring logic, and it works. I have a vast sheet of what we want from a house, and what weight/scoring we give each. When we view a house, we mark down how we each score it, pros and cons, and see what it scores.

Admittedly, we often then screw up that sheet, and go and do something else...

We had a list (but not as long as yours) of "must haves" and "would likes" but gut feeling also played a big part. We had a couple of houses that fitted the list but just didn't feel right and we bought a house that didn't have one of our "must haves" but felt like home the first time we walked into it.

As ACG says - it does make a difference if the house is going to be an investment rather than a long term home but it's still got to be somewhere that you're going to be happy coming home to every night.

sonastin

When you say you're lukewarm, do you mean
"I really don't want it but the wife does so I'm going to try to find something I like about it."

or do you mean
"there's nothing actually wrong with it but I was hoping for something that had a bit more wow-factor"

You don't have to be 110% sure, or even 100% sure but you do have to understand what is behind the doubts. If it is simply that the house doesn't have everything you wanted;
-are the compromises reasonable
-if you waited, would you really be able to get everything on your wish list (does that house even exist?)
-would you be able to afford a house that had more of your desired criteria

If you are downplaying your doubts in the interest of wanting to give your wife what she wants, you need to be honest with yourself. If this house will make you unhappy, she won't be happy there either so its a fools errand.

PasturesNew

If there are two of you and neither hates it - and if you're renting and want to put down roots - then it's not as important that one of you's not thoroughly in love with it if you intend to move on in 4-6 years' time.

If you're looking for one house to unpack and stay for decades, then it's worthwhile taking a little more care. Or if you're on your own and hate it you shouldn't get it.

System

Buy a house that you like and meets your needs.


No point in living somewhere you don't like.

moneyistooshorttomention

Do bear in mind that its important to take care with what house is purchased even for a starter house.

Voice of experience time here....in that I really didn't take that much care with buying my starter house. I was let down by a Little Wotname on another house I was buying and basically grabbed at the first house in a convenient enough location. It didn't really matter anyway...as I was only going to keep that house for a few years and then "move up ladder".

In the event, I landed up having to keep that blimmin' house for about 20 more years than I had decided to:( and got more upset about all the things wrong with it and the area with each passing year after Time I Shoulda Moved On.

So do be aware that some people do get stuck in a house for rather longer than they had bargained on...and I'd be willing to bet its usually starter houses that that happens with and make sure you choose carefully even for a "starter" (just in case you get stuck too).

I don't think I realised just how much I disliked that house and area until now (after finally moving on at last). Even the area is just so big an improvement as to be a quantum leap improvement and I've dished out more "local" Christmas cards here after just 3 months living here than I would have in my old locality all those years later.

DigForVictory

Sounds like your lady is looking at a home, while you're looking at a house. If the finances suggest you could (a) afford it now, (b) sell it without too much pain in another decade, then I'd let her have her way.

Sure there's logic, but that can document prejudices. Better for the relationship to work together & see what it takes to feel like home. If in another decade it still hasn't got some specific thing you didn't realise you were yearning for, (and that can even be the weather), then you can float the "I'd love to see what you could do to transform X place" idea.

Push comes to shove, there is a steady legal market for property. Spouses can work out much harder to trade.