Life coach, therapy or just a boot up the jacksee?

skattykatty

I think Belfastgirl has some great starters there. Just a little walk most days, you can build up over time begins supporting you in most of those changes you want to make.

I found this book quite helpful:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Low-Self-Esteem-Melanie-Fennell/dp/1849010684/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1387222488&sr=8-1&keywords=overcoming+low+self+esteemhttp://

though, actually entering into a counselling relationship may help you appreciate what you have to offer, as well as what you want to change and how you can do it.

What's that phrase? 'A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.' And you're already some steps further forward than you were by acknowledging what you want to change and reaching out for support on this forum! One step at a time...

Svenena

The thing is, you can talk about your issues with a counsellor or life coach, but ultimately, you are going to have to take action to change something, and that seems to be what you are finding difficulty with. Your changes are all pretty big - would it help you to break them into smaller tasks, that seem more achievable? You could make a new list of more realistic ones, and then tackle a new one each week or month?

Eg:

1) I need to stop smoking (gum disease, so my teeth will drop out if I dont) You could set yourself a day on which you are going to phone the NHS Stop Smoking line, or make an appointment to visit a nurse to talk about it, or buy yourself an e-cig, or buy (and read) a book about quitting
2) Lose weight You could sign up to weightwatchers or similar. Again, you could make an appointment to discuss with a nurse. You could join a gym. You could write a diet plan. You could aim to stick to 1500 calories every day for a week.
3) Build up confidence back up
4) Stop drowning my sorrows and feeling sorry for myself
5) Get out more, even if it's just for a walk. I went home on Friday and didn't leave my flat, or speak to anyone apart from a few phone calls to my Mum. You could go for a walk right now. You could aim to go for a 20 minute walk on Monday, Wednesday and Friday next week. You could come up with a list of chores that involve getting out and do one every other day for a week, eg going to the bank, supermarket, Christmas shopping, visit a friend, etc
6) Sort my career out I am at a stand still at the moment, I really want to relocate closer to my family, but am to insecure to apply for jobs, rejection terrifies me at the moment a few years back I wouldn't have given a toss.

I've given you some suggestions above. I think once you start tackling some of the other things, numbers 3 and 4 might start to take care of themselves. One thing you could do this very moment is to order a book on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy from Amazon, which you might find helpful. There are lots of small steps you could take towards number 6 too, but you'll have a better idea of what those could be than I do.

Errata

If CBT interests you and you think it might help, try this free NHS approved DIY CBT site before you start chucking money around.
http://www.llttf.com/index.php?section=page&page_seq=8

flossy_splodge

skattykatty wrote: »

Counselling does not necessarily look back. If you know, and it sounds like you do, what the difficulties are at the moment then you could try googling counselling services in your area, some provide low cost service, and see who offers short term work (maybe 6 sessions) and take it from there. Maybe even taking a step to contact someone may be enough of a boost that you may not even see anybody about it! Motivation follows action 'they' say (this is true for me at least!)

I did say 'tends'. I am qualified in both and find this way of looking at them makes it a bit easier to understand the differences.
Fraid I don't agree 'googling' for a low cost service, there are some atrocious ones out there.
My recommendation would be to ask around for recommendations from friends or look at profiles on web pages (if they have one) to see whose words make you feel comfortable.
Good luck.

falko89

Tony Robbins is you're friend, Seriously, Youtube him, He has a few books and course on Amazon and the likes.