Lending Parents Money

claire16c

Good advice mr toad.

I can assume my parents must have done similar for my grandfather as my nan fairly recently moved house & got the full value and my grandads care home cost a fortune.

I think perhaps his pension paid for it? I'm not really sure but I know he had several meetings to assess whether he was eligible for the council to pay - apparently even though his care needs were high on every scale/point they had going, because he wasn't violent or aggressive towards staff it was denied! It was ridiculous.

He had no idea where he was either, but clearly it was important that we all knew he was in a good home.

There was no way my Nan could have carried on looking after him after a certain stage.

margaretclare

I don't think putting a commode upstairs is a very good solution. Problem: someone has to empty it, and that's not a very nice job for anyone, whether spouse, carer coming in, anyone.

An en suite shower with loo upstairs would be a much better idea. Most new-build houses now seem to have a downstairs loo but also shower and/or bath and loo upstairs. This is modern living.

I'm told that with micro-plumbing it is now possible to install loo and/or shower in much smaller spaces than used to be the case.

Kev76

A big thanks all for your words of advice, particularly Mr Toad. I shall speak to the Alzheimer Society in the first instance and see what help is available, financial or otherwise. I'll also speak with my mum. Not easy as she's still half in denial (not helped because the doctors can't say for sure) and doesn't want to talk about what the future may bring.

Mr_Toad

Kev76 wrote: »

A big thanks all for your words of advice, particularly Mr Toad. I shall speak to the Alzheimer Society in the first instance and see what help is available, financial or otherwise. I'll also speak with my mum. Not easy as she's still half in denial (not helped because the doctors can't say for sure) and doesn't want to talk about what the future may bring.

One other thing I didn't mention.

When it comes to the money Social services will take everything in your fathers name and half anything in any joint accounts, including any income from pensions, bonds, annuities or anywhere else.

In any court of law the wife or husband would be entitled to half of everything no matter who's name the money is in but it seems Social Services, a department of the state, does not abide by those rules.

My parents come from a era where most things were in the husbands name, in my parents case all my Mum had was a single ISA for tax reasons and half what was in the current account. Dad's pension was £300 per week. hers was £66.

She was left with very little money and her pension. A situation that is not uncommon amongst that generation.

I was advised by both the solicitor and by someone from the Alzheimer's Soc. that the best thing my Mum could do to protect her assets and standard of living was to divorce my father. That way the court would have awarded her half the assets and half his pension.

Of course Mum wouldn't hear of it, she wouldn't even consider it. In their case it didn't really matter because Mum is going the same way and while not in a care home yet she is already bellow the £23k savings threshold so unlike my father she won't be self funding.

If your Mum is in denial then I doubt she'll see the sense of getting a divorce but I thought it was an option you should be aware of.