Teenage Mum first time out in the big world

pigpen

Turn heating off while you are out.. if you can, set it to come on an hour before you get home so you don't enter a cold house!


basic cooking skills re taught at the childrens centres here so it might be worth looking.


Cleaning.. pick it up and put it away if it is on the floor. Cleaning.. a cloth and a bowl of hot water with a small squirt of washing up liquid or a dash of bleach is adequate for everything.. you do not need fancy cleaning products.


Pop a washload on when you get home and hang it up before bed.. it will dry. Avoid tumble dryers where possible, especially for heavy items like twels and jeans they take forever to dry.


My daughter is 19 and has a son of 16 months and just finishing her A-levels and a member of a few facebook groups specifically for younger mums so it might be worth a look for groups there.. a few have met up and have friends there and help each other.. tbh.. a few have now added me because they are estranged from their families and others ask DD1 to ask my advice on stuff lol.. do you have any friends whose mums could help you with advice?

Your parents are missing out on so much.. nothing on earth would make me miss a relationship with my daughter or her child whatever the circumstances. Children have to make their own decisions as they become adults and while we, as parents, might not agree it is their lesson to learn. My daughter did things I won't ever forgive but she is my daughter and I love her.. keep in touch if it is at all possible.. even if just emails.. only if it is safe for you to do so of course.. don't put yourself in any danger just to keep that relationship.


I'm sure you'll be fine once you find a routine!
xx

calicocat

Also Freecycle? People may well be getting rid of old clothes or toys or baby 'stuff' after xmas and having a clear-out. If you want stuff you have to get in quick, and usually collect if any collage mates have a car or van.?

Which area do you live in, then folk on here may know of particular places local to you or groups that can help and support you until you find your feet.

Broomstick

Keep all your receipts from shopping, use them to write down in a little book what you are spending on things. It means that, if you hit a tight week financially, you can meal plan using the things that you know are cheapest and you can work out the money to the nearest 5p. It also means that it gets easier to work out when you'll have a bit spare.

Something else that helps is to make sure you gradually build up some emergency supplies of essentials so that, if you or the baby go down with the flu or a stomach bug and can't leave the house and have nobody who can step in and help, you can still cope. Things like spare loo roll and toiletries, spare nappies (if you use disposables), washing powder, washing up liquid and bin bags, enough tinned, dried and frozen food to make you meals for a few days, some spare longlife milk, juice, chocolate or other treats. Make sure you have a working torch in case of power cuts.

I became the sole parent of a baby and toddler, moving into our own flat in a new town, nearly 20 years ago. Treats matter when you are on your own with upset babies and no money. If you can, keep a few treats tucked away for those times: nice music, a book or a DVD - swap with friends. At that time there was no internet and it would have been a life-saver. Chatting with online friends in forums like these would definitely have been on my treats list then.

Become the world expert in places to go and visit for free. If anyone asks you what you want for Christmas or birthday, consider a thermos and a box for sandwiches if you don't already have them. If everything goes into meltdown at home you can make a quick hot drink and a snack, put the baby in the buggy and head out to the nearest park or wherever and it becomes an adventure that is expense free. It works wonders with stroppy toddlers. Getting outside for running around is vital and restores everyone to sanity. It's fantastic having your own place but you need not to feel trapped and have a second plan in place for when things get tough.

B x

LameWolf

I have all my household accounts on an OpenOffice Calc spreadsheet; I'm lucky enough to have a DH earning a reasonable wage, but am not able to work myself (health issues) so when he's paid, I "earmark" a month's worth of money for the regular bills - council tax, gas and leccy, water, phones, everything that's on a monthly direct debit. That money is sacrosanct and cannot be touched for any reason whatsoever. Every single penny is accounted for on the spreadsheet; it helps to identify where money is being spent unnecessarily; and because it's on Calc, it's set up to do the calculations automatically. We do have credit cards, but again, if anything's spent on them, the money is "earmarked" on the spreadsheet, so that we pay them off in full every single time. Btw, OpenOffice is freeware, you don't need to have M!crosoft Office to do a spreadsheet.;)

Good luck.:o

cats_ahoy

I agree with all the other posts on here e.g. budgeting and learning to cook. A food shop can vary wildly in price depending on the brands you buy - I buy mainly tesco value groceries (apart from the meat/eggs), and a lot of the time it is the same as regular tesco groceries, just in a different packet!

There are lots of good recipes on this forum for cooking on a budget!

motherbear1

thank you all for the replies, didn't think anyone would reply.
My mother and me aren't talking, she didn't approve of my pregnancy and kicked me out, so I have been in a homeless shelter for the last 5 months, her and dad are divorced, he s helping me move and is also my guarantor. I hope we will mend things soon, just a bit anxious at the moment, I will report back on how I get on.
I am going to try and make a meal plan :-/
where to begin.....

calicocat

motherbear1 wrote: »

thank you all for the replies, didn't think anyone would reply.
My mother and me aren't talking, she didn't approve of my pregnancy and kicked me out, so I have been in a homeless shelter for the last 5 months, her and dad are divorced, he s helping me move and is also my guarantor. I hope we will mend things soon, just a bit anxious at the moment, I will report back on how I get on.
I am going to try and make a meal plan :-/
where to begin.....

Well it's good that you have your dad in the picture for starters.

Things with your mum could well change and most probably will, so try not to worry about that too much now and focus on your new home and life with the little person. When your mum finds out how well you are doing she may well end up very impressed with you.

If you type in 'meal plan' on the search bit you will find probably thousands of threads on the subject. Also everyone here is always up for a challenge and helpful so any help needed i'm sure you will get here.

I really would recommend a Slow Cooker, (push out some huge hints to dad for xmas) they are so easy, cooking can be done whilst you are out, asleep, or busy with baby. It is also cheap to run and will keep down your food budget.

If you like chicken or mince there are hundreds of meals you can make for little money. A chicken should be able to last you a good 5 or 6 meals...so that's a fiver plus whatever veg and herbs etc you put with it. you will get there, it just takes time and a bit of practice .


Let us know your first food plan and budget, then people on here may be able to tweek it and get it even cheaper for you.

camNolliesMUMMY

Hi Hun. Welcome to the old style board.
I'm a mum of two boys age 6 and 1 I'm 27 and hubby is 26.
My advice is to cook meals twice the amount and then freeze the remainder.
I cooked a shepherds pie yesterday and bulked it out with porridge oats and I have half of the pie left as well as another meal I can turn into chilli, spag Bol or another shepherds pie to feed all 4 of us.
You can do the same and if baby is starting food, I used to put some leftovers in my blender with a little bit more water and veggies and blitz them, then froze it for later.
Freeze all leftovers for yourself for an easy meal whenever you feel like not cooking?
We all eat porridge for breakfast with different toppings, honey, golden syrup, bannana, blueberries, maple syrup.
Weetabix even ds1 has been eating this since 7 months.
Cleaning buy washing up liquid, disinfectant, bleach, polish value range is still good. Mix washing up liquid and disinfectant in a spray bottle and fill with water....antibacterial spray I've used this for 4 years and it does a great job.
Wash powder use a tbsp in each wash it will still get clothes clean!
Stains-bicarb and vinegar mixed into a paste gets baby sick, baby food etc out just pre treat with this and after 20 mins wash normally.
Put your washing machine on timesaver mode to cut down your electric bill.
E7 try and do any washing and drying after peak times using a timer or delay time on your machine, if you ring your supplier they can tell you what time this is. Basically anything you use in the day time costs x3 more than at night so find out those times.
Your storage heaters will power up during the off peak and release heat slowly constantly releasing heat.
Buy energy saving bulbs and turn things off when not in use.
Watch tv in bed and turn your heating down to save on the heating.
Invest in fleecy pjs to keep you warm and a sleeping bag or grow bag for baby.
Scowl the internet for lots of other tips.

Here are some sites that might help because they have for me.

http://www.goodtoknow.co.uk
http://www.netmums.com/lifestyle/money-and-debt/ideas-for-frugal-living
http://allrecipes.co.uk
http://england.lovefoodhatewaste.com great tips for keeping food for longer or turning into other things

BitterAndTwisted

Does your Housing Benefit (or LHA) cover the entire rent that's due to your landlady?

Does your Council Tax benefit cover the entire amount due?

If the answer to both of those questions is "no" then a sum needs to be set aside from your weekly benefits for those.


As you are on pre-pay meters you won't have to worry about bills for those but will need to set aside enough money every week to top up the cards. I'd do this on the day your benefit hits your bank account. Check the meters on a daily basis so you know how much you are using. I reckon this will be about £20 a week as an absolute minimum. Anything generating heat, like the washing-machine, tumble-dryer or cooker will eat plenty, so only use the oven if you're cooking more than one thing at a time. Wash clothing on the coolest temperature you can get away with. Most dark-coloured things which are not obviously soiled can be washed in cold water. Use half of the manufacturers recommended dosage and see how you get on. Then reduce until they come out still dirty.

What about your water/sewage charges? You will need to contact the supplier if the landlady doesn't include this charge in with your rent and have the account transferred into your own name. My water-rates for a two-bed flat is £8 a week. These charges are not taken into account by when calculating your rent/C Tax benefits so you will probably need to budget for these.

Avoid, avoid, avoid pre-prepared or processed meals! A week's food budget can be eaten up just providing a couple of dinners for yourself. If you're not used to cooking from scratch I suggest hunting around for a student cook-book from the library and copying out some of the recipes. This is the area where most money can be saved but you will need to make time and expend some effort. Remember that pulses and vegetables cost a fraction compared to meat, so limit the amount you buy and concentate on vegetarian, eggs and dairy recipes. You only need a maximum of 4 ounces of meat a day for health.

Find out at what time your local supermarkets mark down fresh produce (the legendary "Yellow-Sticker" shopping) and gear your grocery-shopping-times around them if you can. Anything keenly-priced which you can't use on the day you buy it can be stowed in the freezer for future use.

For the time being forego the idea of acquiring anything new for yourselves or for your home at full retail price except underwear. Clothing and housewares can be got for a fraction of the price in charity shops second-hand. Babies and childrens clothes are usually barely-worn if they've been worn at all. Same for ebay which you can buy in bundles. If you have a Freecycle group near you sign up. Good furniture and textiles can be snapped up for free if you keep your eyes peeled. Check out whether there's a British Heart Foundation store near you. My local one sells electrical items for a couple of quid. Which is where I got a bread-maker for £15 and saves me a fortune compared to buying fresh.

If you have an Ald! or L!dl near you try and do the bulk of your food-shopping there. Top-quality at much less than they cost at the other supermarkets. Ald! have a fruit and veg Big Six special-reduction every week. I seem to remember that carrots and onions were 50 pence a kilo not long ago.

gayleygoo

Sorry to hear about the situation with your mum, as others have said hopefully she will change her mind when she sees what she is missing out on.

With regards to meal planning, are there any foods you don't like so we could make suggestions?

A start might be buying some mince and a whole chicken! Onions, carrots, garlic and mushrooms are all cheap veg that add nutrients and taste to a meal. A bag of potatoes can make mash, champ, chips, wedges, baked potatoes etc and they keep well for ages.

Since you are on your own it will be quite easy to make several meals in one go, that can be frozen for later (if you have the freezer space). The mince just needs browned with some onions and garlic and vegetables, take some out for a pie or adding gravy to, lovely with just mashed potatoes. Add some tinned tomatoes, handful of red lentils, grated carrots and other veg, mixed herbs and a stock cube if you have it, and simmer for 10-20mins. This can be used for spag bol or lasagne, or just eaten on bread. Any leftovers of that can be heated with some baked beans and a little chilli powder and served with rice. As long as you're not adding too much salt to these meals your baby can eat them too, and you can freeze in small portions to make a healthy "ready meal" for your baby when you are too tired to cook.

For the whole chicken, the possibilities are endless but they are easily roasted or done in the slow cooker and the meat will do you for lots of dinners, and the carcass makes lovely soup with whatever veg are lounging around in the fridge (search "rubber chicken" on the forum or some of the grocery/meal planning threads for more info!) This is much cheaper than buying individual chicken portions, particularly fillets, and you can also learn to portion up a whole chicken yourself if you don't want to cook the whole thing in one go.

A big batch of pasta sauce is good to be able to make. Fry a chopped onion until soft, add crushed garlic and any other chopped veg (peppers, mushrooms, courgettes, grated carrots, celery, sweetcorn, past-their-best tomatoes etc). Add a tin of tomatoes, some tomato puree if you have it, a pinch of mixed herbs, and simmer for 10 mins or so, adding a little water or stock if you think it needs it. This can be left chunky or blended, added to pasta or mince, used as a homemade pizza sauce, or watered down as a soup base. Freeze in portions that suit you (leftover takeaway tubs are great) and you'll never be stuck for a meal again!

If you like pizza, learn how to make that too! It's very easy, I'm sure someone on here will have a good recipe (I don't like pizza so don't make it often), it's cheap and can be very healthy when you are choosing the ingredients yourself. Again, you can freeze these.

Stew - a cheap cut of meat cut into pieces (shoulder of beef/lamb, or steak pieces), fry these off in a large pan, add a couple of roughly chopped onions, carrots and parsnips, then add a litre of hot water or stock and peeled, halved potatoes to almost fill the pot. Simmer slowly until mushy, stirring occasionally. Add some gravy powder and stock cubes for extra colour and taste. If you make a big pot, it will keep in the fridge for a few days and can be frozen.

When meal planning, just try to think of 5-7 dinners for the week that you can make. Take into account days you'll be at college late and you might not want to cook, so you can plan ahead for them. Don't buy big packs of veg if you haven't planned to use them all up or can't freeze them - it's ok to buy one carrot if that's all you need for the week! If you do have to buy a larger amount of something, think about how you can use it the rest of the week. A whole cabbage could make bubble and squeak, a soup, coleslaw, mixed with champ to make colcannon, braised with bacon and onions etc, so bear that in mind when planning your meals. Try to plan breakfasts, lunches and snacks too so you don't under-budget!

Are you a member of your local library? They will have loads of books on cooking, meal planning, general cleaning and running of a house etc. Ask if they run any parent and toddler groups too, ours does "Rhyme Time" for babies 6m upwards, and it's never too early to borrow books from the library to read your child (another good activity for rainy days when you've been stuck in the house with a baby and are close to tearing your hair out!)