The Good, the Mad & the Lovely

Jelly_Biactol

Enterprise_1701C wrote: »

And don't forget, if you eat them while you're out of the house the calories don't count

Calories That Don't Count
Other People's Food A chocolate mousse that you did not order has no calories. Therefore, have your companion order dessert and you taste half of it.
Food eaten while standing up: All food eaten while standing has no calories. Exactly why is not clear, but the current theory relates to gravity. The calories apparently bypass the stomach flowing directly down the legs and through the soles of the feet into the floor, like electricity. Walking seems to accelerate this process, so that a frozen custard or hot dog eaten at a carnival actually has a calorie deficit.
Children's food: Anything produced, purchased or intended for minors is calorie-free when eaten by adults. This category covers a wide range, beginning with a spoonful of baby tapioca -- consumed for demonstration purposes -- up to and including cookies baked and sent to university.
Unveven Edges: Pies and cakes should be cut neatly, in even wedges or slices. If not, the responsibility falls on the person putting them away to "straighten up the edges" by slicing away the offending irregularities, which have no calories when eaten.
TV FOOD: Anything eaten in front of the TV has no calories. This may have something to do with radiation leakage, which negates not only the calories in the food but also all recollection of having eaten it. Entire no-calorie dinners are now manufactured and frozen for this purpose.
Food that doesn't taste good doesn't count. This is an enormous category covering a diverse range including airline food, cafeteria meals, and dinner at your sister-in-law's. Also dinners manufactured to be eaten in front of the TV.
ANYTHING SMALLER THAN ONE INCH: contains no calories to speak of. For example: chocolate kisses, maraschino cherries, cubes of cheese.
LEFT-HANDED FOOD: If you have a drink in your right hand, anything eaten with the other hand has no calories. Several principles are at work here. First of all, you're probably standing up at a cocktail party. Then there's the electronic field: a wet glass in one hand forms a negative charge to reverse the polarity of the calories attracted to the other hand. I'm not exactly sure how it works, but it's reversible if you're left-handed.
CAKES WITH WRITING ON THEM: Primarily fat, starch and sugar, all cakes are horrendously fattening. However, the calories can be eliminated simply by inscribing "Happy Birthday, Charlie" or "Good Luck, Alice" in colored icing. Not only is it unnecessary to decline, it's impolite.
FOOD ON TOOTHPICKS: Sausages, cheese and the like are all fattening unless impaled on frilled toothpicks. The insertion of a sharp object allows the calories to leak out the bottom.
LEFTOVERS: An extra pork chop, the crust of bread, anything intended for the rubbish has no calories regardless of what happens to it in the kitchen.
FOOD EATEN QUICKLY: If you are rushed through a meal, the entire meal doesn't count. Conversely, if you have ordered something fattening and now regret it, you can minimize its calories by gulping it down.
CUSTOM MADE FOOD: Anything somebody made "just for you" must be eaten regardless of the calories because to do otherwise would be uncaring and insensitive. Your kind intentions will not go unrewarded.

Mildred1970

louj101 wrote: »

evening everyone x
hope everyone is ok and well xx


im really sorry I've had to do some skipping as I haven't really been on here to catch up properly .....been feeling a little low and had to go to the hospital yesterday for my check up after the spine op I had 10 weeks ago......the op went well but I've been told I need another spine op now at the bottom of my back.....if I leave it the nerve damage will just get worse then it already is




note to self.....need to stay on top of this thread to stop me thinking about things !!


sorry once again for skipping xx
and if I have missed anyone's post or reply to me xx

Good luck with your next op, hope they get it sorted quickly for you xx

Jelly_Biactol

louj101 wrote: »

ebeen feeling a little low and had to go to the hospital yesterday for my check up after the spine op I had 10 weeks ago......the op went well but I've been told I need another spine op now at the bottom of my back.....if I leave it the nerve damage will just get worse then it already is note to self.....need to stay on top of this thread to stop me thinking about things !!

Best wishes louj:T:T:T

vanilla_twist

Evening all

No luck in the advent competitions at all yet.:(

Got my Aromatherapy Associates product in post today and they sent me a face oil. (Sure email said I would get a selection of products). Anyway face so dry I thought I would give it a go. Said put on after serum but before moisturiser. Think days are not long enough for all the faffing about.
Looked and felt like olive oil but has a lovely smell so will keep trying it.

Will be a onesie weekend as want to give house a good bottoming before I put decorations up.
So 2 nsd for me but will be doing mums last xmas shopping online so still be getting a shopping fix.

Hope every one has a lovely weekend and remember last time 02 has fragrance £10 off the codes worked online so might be worth a try. Not sure if there is anything I need or want.
V x

louj101

night everyone xx


thanks for your support it mean a lot as the only support I've got is my hubby xx

zippydooda

pattylabelle wrote: »

Just ordered one from o2 and one from Tosco for 1p:)

got a link to the o2 site please. I keep getting a form that requires a phone number.

EMMAP

Night night Lou. It IS quiet tonight isn't it?

FC your prediction was accurate!

TrulyMadly

Ooh that was a marathon effort.

Just finished writing my Christmas cards. Just counted.
72:)

lookinforabargain

Evening all :wave:

3Dogs

Well I got a nice joint of beef and a new jumper with my expiring APGs so I am glad I went. I got the Rump Joint, has anyone tried cutting this into steaks and grilling please? I prefer steaks to a joint, so this would be better for me

inna wrote: »

Evening all

I'm after a huge favour please. It's a competition on Facebook where I'm trying to win a canvass, £100 and £100 cake for my DD next birthday.

**You can vote more than once - system re-sets every 8 hours** voting ends on 23rd of december.

Could you vote for my daughter pretty please?? Winning this would mean a lot to me.

Thank you.

link: https://www.facebook.com/hippuk?sk=app_451684954848385&brandloc=DISABLE&app_data=view-vote%2Cfor-1733377

Done. What a lovely daughter you have there

louj101 wrote: »

evening everyone x
hope everyone is ok and well xx

im really sorry I've had to do some skipping as I haven't really been on here to catch up properly .....been feeling a little low and had to go to the hospital yesterday for my check up after the spine op I had 10 weeks ago......the op went well but I've been told I need another spine op now at the bottom of my back.....if I leave it the nerve damage will just get worse then it already is

note to self.....need to stay on top of this thread to stop me thinking about things !!

sorry once again for skipping xx
and if I have missed anyone's post or reply to me xx

Sorry to hear this Lou, sounds really painful