Lilt and Jellytots most excellent adventure...

liltdiddylilt

DM no offence taken. I am in the lucky position of having had Jellytot at 25, so am not quite nearing 40 yet. And will definitely be stopping at 2 loopybecs even if the second one isn't a boy.. - Not all that sure I can afford 2, and definitely would need to move before embarking on number 2 so way too much to think of right now. Also.. I really don't like those prams that tuck one child away under the other! I always think it looks like someones child is being treated like shopping :o:o

Fajitas! :D Jealous. Although.. homemade bread, homemade bread, homemade bread... :rotfl:

My colleague expresses absolute shock at the way I fit in things such as baking and cooking/making lunches for the next day into my evening. She has no children. We are fundamentally different due to one simple thing. She watches TV. I don't :rotfl:

The only thing I watch with any regularity is The Big Bang Theory. Reruns on EEEFOUR. A bit of Babylon 5 (which is what I call it because I can never remember its name ... Brooklyn 99?) but I am 4 episodes behind currently. And UFC religiously.

I just nearly had a heart attack for half an hour but luckily had a lunchtime meeting with my boss to distract me. I moved £900 into YB as finally got my card... It didn't appear for over an hour! Am so used to it being instant! Had colleagues checking my bank details :rotfl: but.. it is there now. And now I find they have set a limit on what I can pay out :huh: bizarre.

Hugs all... halfway there! xx

Dansmam

Glad there's at least you unoffended lilt! The next bit of my take on life is that children are basically unaffordable, but that's no reason to deprive the world by not having them. Life's a risk worth taking - maybe that's why I'm still here, still dealing with debt, even though I have no child under the age of 20....
DM

liltdiddylilt

DM when I met Him, he was 18, to my 23 :eek: and his mum spent... HUNDREDS on him. Birthdays, Christmas. £500 minimum. He got more clothes on one of those days than I got in a year, and they are only a month apart. She never had another much as she would have loved one, but told me a year or so back that it will take her another 20 years to get out of the debt his first 20 years of life got her into.

I make the choice that Jellytot has a list of presents as a heavy guideline for people to adhere to for each birthday/xmas. I make the list long in advance, and it contains things that will suit her between birthday/Christmas and beyond. I give various options, some educational, some sporty, different price ranges, but basically these two days kit her out in terms of toys/clothes/wants. I then rarely spend more than £50 on her myself. I mainly do this so that I can put some money away. I've been in debt before, due to my income being far below the most basic outgoings. I don't ever want to be there again. Jelly doesn't lack for anything, and she is spoiled rotten by her grandparents/aunties and uncles on my side... with the things that she really wants and needs. Keeps costs down and eventually I will hopefully have a house to pass on to her, and a nest of savings for her to spend on a car or something when she is old enough.

I agree completely with the saying that if you waited until you could afford children, or waiting for the right time, you would never have them. But at the same time I don't want to jeopardise their/my future just for the selfish fact that I want another baby.

So when I am in a much better position than I am now, with the ability to take another 9 months off work (I am the breadwinner... without me, there is no money) and then be able to put the kids into childcare or manage their childcare arrangements whilst I work without bankrupting myself, and am also able to do the fab thing that I do right now, which is spending 2 days dedicated to Jelly, 2 days fixing up the house etc and having a bit of me time whilst she is at nursery school, and another 3 days working my bum off... Then I will think about having another one.

I know now isn't the right time either... I don't even live with her dad any more. Having Jelly as a baby crippled our relationship because he was too young and too selfish to deal with the change in the relationship maturely. He is a lot better now, but how much of that is centred on the fact that he is living away 5 nights a week doing as he pleases? And how much would that change if he moved back in, let alone had another baby waking me up every 2 hours in the night again, exhausting me..

There are so many huge variables. So for me, the time might be right in the future but really isn't now even if I really wanted another one. I will enjoy my Jellytot. She lights up my world xx

System

I had just turned 26 when I had my little one Will be just under 28 this time. My OH however has just turned 50 :eek: Hehe!!! He's young at heart though, probs why we gel well.

I totally agree with you Lilt about them tandem buggies. I'd obviously put my favourite child in the higher seat :rotfl: We haven't bought a double buggy yet, will see how we get on without one.

I watch Eastenders & Coronation Street religiously. Everything else I only watch if I'm bored, or poorly. I wish I was a better cook!! Although I've improved I'm still far from amazing lol.

Nearly home time for you workers Yay!!

System

Sorry Lilt we x-posted. I think in your situation I'd definitely do the same thing. Baby's are hard work, as you know. It can put so much strain on a relationship. When you have another one you will be able to spend more one-to-one time with baby while Jelly is at school It's something for you to look forward to when the time is right!!

And wow, your MIL really did spoil your OH didn't she!!! :eek:

in_need_of_direction

I had two a year and two weeks apart and didn't drive. You get through cos you have to. It's only now that I wonder how I managed. When they were small, I didn't have time

liltdiddylilt

in_need_of_direction wrote: »

I had two a year and two weeks apart and didn't drive. You get through cos you have to. It's only now that I wonder how I managed. When they were small, I didn't have time

:eek::eek::eek::eek: You are right.. you do just cope. Like BILLIE said about coping with 3 poorly kids at a time. I'm just being sensible. Everyone has their own path and mine has been tough enough this last 18 months without adding another child into the mix one way, one day

becs I don't sit still very well. So cooking allows me to move around and fidget. I am getting more adventurous thanks to some amazing help from inspirational people on here. I am using ingredients I had never even heard of in everyday meals But I am still rubbish at toast. :rotfl:

I am busy working out how much money I need in each account currently in order to live and pay the bills. I've shunted an almighty amount of money across to my *savings* but I still appear to have extra. I reckon I've forgotten the rent or something... Ooh no I have just figured it out - tax credits are applied to next months bills so although they are *in* they aren't my money until April. :rotfl: thats fine. They can earn money while they wait for the bills to come around

Once I have finished, and fidgeted it all between accounts, I can update my sig. I've had 4 SFD's this month :j:j

I think tomorrow I might try Morries. They are also local(ish) to me, but being in the opposite direction to the other shops I don't go in there often. However, Mr H card is offering me 10% cashback on my groceries in there this weekend. And they price match Mr L. So might as well give it a go. I am going to write a very detailed list and stick to it like blooming heck. I go mad in there... deli... olives.. cheese.. sausage rolls. hence why I don't go in. Rarely do I enter when I am not hungry so will be having a big breakfast before me and Jelly make the walk there and STICKING TO MY LIST. :A

Need a cup of tea... Where is Ali when you need her hmm?

liltdiddylilt

Why do they put best before dates on packs of biscuits?!?! Seriously? Best before: 01/08/2015. August?! You will be lucky if there is a crumb left tomorrow mate! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

BILLIE

Hi Lilty as always your post cheer me and make me smile. My DS3 has just said he didn't know how I juggled things like when he was in hospital aged 10 for 9 weeks and I went there every day before work and every evening and then at the weekend spent both days, all day, there. At the time he was in hospital in Canterbury, I worked in Folkestone and lived near Dover, but as a mum I just did it. xxx

liltdiddylilt

I can't believe you managed to keep working...!! Poor DS3 bless him. I think back to being a kid and remember both me and my sister becoming epileptic within 6 months of each other, unexpectedly, with no family history and we had 2 different types of seizure! Mum battled through it with dad working 12 hour shifts and managed to get herself through college at the same time as working as a childminder. Boggles the mind...

Long trek from Dover to Canterbury to Folkestone back to Canterbury then Dover... eyewatering!!

Correct yourself... as a SUPERMUM you did it xx