adulterous wife left and i'm after info ???

Person_one

paddy's_mum wrote: »

As honestly as I know how to say it, I really don't understand your comment.

I'd be glad if you would explain what you mean (and I do understand that might mean I get flamed).

Like most folk, I can only speak from my experience, my knowledge of mistakes I've made in my own life, and just a little bit of understanding of what makes people tick.

In case this is a genuine question, I'll just copy and paste my response from the last time it came up:

"Absolute tosh.

Affairs happen because somebody chooses to disregard their relationship and their spouse and sleep with someone else. Claiming that its the inevitable result of a failing or struggling relationship clears them of responsibility for their hurtful and selfish actions.

If things aren't working out, there are lots of reasonable actions that can be taken to either improve things or to end the relationship in a civilised way.

Shagging the lass in the next caravan along is not one of them."

You can probably ignore the caravan bit though.

paddy's_mum

It is a genuine question and I thank you for your response.

Voyager2002

supersaver2 wrote: »

So its okay to have an affair if you aren't happy at home?! She could maybe have tried talking to her husband and if things were that bad, then moved out and started an other relationship. There is no excuse for adultery. A person who has been cheated on has every right to be bitter. No harm is being done by his ranting on here. As for the living together for x amount of years, people do change you know! What about people who are victims to domestic violence after living together for years, would you ask them how their partner changed and why they had no idea about that side of their character?

I don't think this discussion is helpful...

This is a money-saving site and the OP asked for information about the financial consequences of his wife's departure. He has been told that the law is not going to "punish" his wife financially and so he needs to plan accordingly. For him to develop the mind-set that she is 'guilty' will build expectations that the courts will somehow be on his side when it comes to sorting out the money, and such expectations will be proved false.

The OP may well feel the need for relationship counselling: an internet forum is not a good way to provide this, partly because we don't know enough about the marriage to say anything helpful.