adulterous wife left and i'm after info ???

sunshinetours

Mojisola wrote: »

Expect her to change her mind. As a spouse, she is entitled to a split of the marriage assets and she will get plenty of people telling her to make sure she gets her share.

This with bells on I am afraid - haven't read other replies in full but do ensure you get your own advice.

Whatever is said now whilst its all new and raw will absolutely not be the case in a few months/years time when it comes down to money I am afraid

Wish you well

lurchy

cheers all, have solicitor meeting next week for advice . some of the just plain deceitful and nasty lies ive found out i'm afraid i'm out. been blackmailing our son and lying to him so am thinking now is she fit to look after him at all..after all he comes 1st eh !!!

marisco_2

I agree with those who say that having no access to funds in any joint accounts, could quickly change your wife's mind set over assets. It could also very quickly change her appeal in the eyes of her 'other bloke'. What started as an affair and a bit of fun, has moved to her living with him and soon to be dependant on him unless she has any of her own means. Not such an attractive proposition.

Take legal advice on where you stand and how best to proceed, so as to protect yourself and your son. Kudos to you for putting his emotional needs first by intending to stay civil with your wife when she has caused you so much upset and pain. He will thank you for being so considerate of his well being in years to come.

Dimey

lurchy wrote: »

cheers all, have solicitor meeting next week for advice . some of the just plain deceitful and nasty lies ive found out i'm afraid i'm out. been blackmailing our son and lying to him so am thinking now is she fit to look after him at all..after all he comes 1st eh !!!

Good Luck Lurchy.

I hope your son isn't damaged by your wife's blackmailing, long term.

I agree with all the advice so far. You ex wife is very likely to change her stance once she finds out her rights and after others start pushing her. I hope she does stay true to her word but she's already demonstrated how far she's prepared to mistreat you so be very careful.

Get in first where you can. eg -
legal advice,
sue for divorce on grounds of adultery,
changing the bank accounts,
change beneficiaries on insurance policies & pensions,
car ownership & insurance,
change your will,
should your parents review their will if she's no longer your wife,
change the locks (differing opinions as to whether this is legal) and claim for maintenance for your son.

Make a list and go through with the solicitor.

BitterAndTwisted

As soon as she discovers that you can apply to the CSA for support of your son from her, any talk about not wanting half of the equity in the family home and an equal share of savings will be right out of the window. By that time I sincerely hope you will have prevented her being able to access any joint bank-accounts and savings.

marisco_2

Dimey wrote: »

change the locks (differing opinions as to whether this is legal)

I strongly advise against doing this. If your wife jointly owns the property with you, regardless of whether she has paid a penny into it or not, then legally she has every right to have unrestricted access to it. If you change the locks it could send a message to her that relations between you are no longer amicable, and that could set off all manner of repercussions. More importantly think of the message it would send your 13 year old son. Not a smart move.

Voyager2002

marisco wrote: »

I agree with those who say that having no access to funds in any joint accounts, could quickly change your wife's mind set over assets. It could also very quickly change her appeal in the eyes of her 'other bloke'. What started as an affair and a bit of fun, has moved to her living with him and soon to be dependant on him unless she has any of her own means. Not such an attractive proposition.

Take legal advice on where you stand and how best to proceed, so as to protect yourself and your son. Kudos to you for putting his emotional needs first by intending to stay civil with your wife when she has caused you so much upset and pain. He will thank you for being so considerate of his well being in years to come.

Indeed.

The first paragraph seems to give good reasons for NOT closing joint accounts and moving all money out of them... Let her believe that her new life is fine; be helpful about access visits; help to move things forward towards an amicable divorce... Her guilt feelings and sense that all is well are likely to maintain her intention not to push for half the house: once she has taken legal advice then any agreement that she makes on this is likely to become legally binding. Once the big issues have been resolved there will be plenty of time to move money and contact the CSA.

PintAndAPie

Voyager2002 wrote: »

The first paragraph seems to give good reasons for NOT closing joint accounts and moving all money out of them...

He won't be able to close the account anyway without signatures from both parties. At the moment it's her money as much as his.

System

PintAndAPie wrote: »

He won't be able to close the account anyway without signatures from both parties. At the moment it's her money as much as his.

But he can move the money somewhere else and get the account frozen.

BitterAndTwisted

I'd do everything that I could to prevent any accounts being emptied, or funds accessed without my agreement. What savings there are will be needed to support the child henceforward, not contribute to the fled wife's lifestyle.

If she want access to the jointly-held savings, let her ask for them, not just take.