Saving money by becoming a house wife

AliBee16

Just wanted to put my experience up here, as I'm sure you wont have considered it, as it is a bit negative. I was married to a high-earner and stopped working (clerical work). It was easier as he travelled, and we didnt need the money. I never missed the world of work, and the kids definitely benefitted. I had some hobbies and friends around and was perfectly content, never bored. However, as time went on, and friends returned to work, I also wanted to get back to work (after about 10 years), but couldnt see the point in getting a low-paid job I wouldnt enjoy, and the other kind of job I had no experience in. I still wasnt that bothered, but then me and my husband decided to mutually split up as we were making each other unhappy and the kids were grown. I have managed to get a part-time job in retail, which I dislike, but have no prospects of anything else, no recent experience, and outdated skills, and nobody wants to train up an over 50 year old. We split the savings and I was able to buy a house, but my wages are very low and unless I can find something else (unlikely) I will have to sell my house, and my girls will have to find somewhere else to live (one at Uni, one unemployed). In retrospect, I would have carried on working, part time, just to keep my hand in, in the world of work. Sorry to be negative, but you dont know what will happen.

meritaten

wondercollie wrote: »

Nursing is JUST a job! I'm tired of people thinking otherwise. It's a job that we train for. Yes, I'm interested in the disease process, recovery of my patients and enjoy caring for most of them.

But like any other job, we do it because we are paid to do it. Burnout is a huge issue as is injury to the staff. It's not a "calling" or a "vocation" it's job that is dirty, manual, and at times literally backbreaking.

I know nurses who work in coffee shops, dress shops, anything but healthcare because they are exhausted and plain fed up with being expected to suffer physical and verbal abuse in silence.

Yes, I've had a very long month with extremely demanding patients and families "who know their rights". No, if they did, they wouldn't be asking the questions they are and bullying the staff.

You misunderstand me - I am sad for the OP! I haven't done nursing of course but my working life has been mainly in Retail, Hospitality and Office work. Hospitality is my first love! sometimes I couldn't believe I was getting paid for being behind the bar - it was just as much fun as the other side of it! it didn't feel like work! that is what I meant when I felt it sad she viewed nursing as 'just a job'.
Retail isn't far behind - I absolutely love the interaction with customers and don't see it as a 'menial' job.

I have also qualified as a Reiki Master Practitioner and thoroughly enjoyed helping people feel 'better'. I couldn't view that as just a job, as I used my ability on a voluntary basis and even where I had private clients - it was more on a 'what can you afford to pay me' basis.
I think if you view work as just a job (which it did to me in my one and only stint in a factory), then its really soul destroying.

kippers

Seanymph wrote: »

Nice blog Kippers!

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Tenyearstogo wrote: »

Kippers, that blog is amazing. I've blogged before, mainly crafting stuff, and thought I might start again if I give up work.

Thanks both, I enjoy writing it.:j:j:j

Tenyearstogo

Can I just say that this thread shouldn't really about nursing. What my actual job is, is irrelevant to my original post.

My reason for posting was about OS savings to my budget and it's gone so much off track.

themull1

I like the independence I have with my job, I would hate my husband to leave me after years of staying at home, and me not being able to afford to stay in the house. When my second husband left me, I was able to keep my house because I had a job. If I had been a sahm I would have been out. I know its unlikely to happen but it could happen.

burnoutbabe

if your husband one days decides to just be a SAHD, would that also be okay? or retrain for another career? Would you be able to go back to work and support him?

mincepiemonster

I expect you will save money in a lot of ways - I am a SAHM at the moment. For example, I cook 6 evening meals per week from scratch, lots of fresh vegetables and less meat than before. I make DH a pack up everyday. I walk most places including to do shopping etc so we only need one car. Holidays are heavily researched and booked at good prices - logistically only having to fit in with one person's annual leave helps this too.

Utility bills (water and gas) went up slightly although because I am better organised laundry etc can be done on economy 7 overnight and I'm around to peg it out in the morning.

We have insurance which covers DH in case of illness, redundancy etc. It's called payment protection insurance. May be worth looking into.

We are all really happy with the set up. Personally I get to spend a lot of time outside and feel much healthier for it. DH is able to have a proper weekend every week because I do all the housework / admin (bar taking out the bins, and the washing up after the evening meal each night!) Even things like dentist appointments / hair appointment I fit in when he's at work to get more quality time together. DD1 is a toddler at the moment and I do not envision rushing back to work the minute she starts school.

I see one of my "jobs" as keeping up to date with friends, family and current affairs, which means we always have something to talk about and that DH can receive a bit of a news bulletin of the important stuff each night. It sounds very old fashioned but we have really never been happier.

My mum was largely a SAHM for over 20 years - there is no way my dad's career (lots of travel, very well paid) could have progressed as it has done had he not had her support, and her running the home.

mincepiemonster

burnoutbabe wrote: »

if your husband one days decides to just be a SAHD, would that also be okay? or retrain for another career? Would you be able to go back to work and support him?

What a strange question! Although, I've been asked this before, funnily enough. We are a family and as long as someone earns the money and someone does all the jobs that need doing - or any combination of splitting the earning/housework, it's fine. However, I wouldn't want DH taking a unilateral decision "one day" to retrain or become a SAHD - I love him and as such would help him to achieve those goals, but would want it to be discussed and prepared for at length, as with any other life changing decision such as moving house or having another child.

Tenyearstogo

burnoutbabe wrote: »

if your husband one days decides to just be a SAHD, would that also be okay? or retrain for another career? Would you be able to go back to work and support him?

He wouldn't but if he did want to we'd discuss it. My earning potential is nowhere near his but we'd look at all options.

mishmogs

Here is my two penny's worth...

I was made redundant in January this year after 36 years full time work, the last 12 as a tutor.

I have to say I was a bit unsure about the future but now, I love being at home. I see it as my job to sort out the car, house, bills, food, savings, etc. and we have done all right. I have found another way of earning money (take in exchange students) and I save this money. We have a small mortgage which we are hoping to pay off next year. I ask DH is he is happy with the status quo and he says life is a lot better for us and easier for him with me being at home, so I shall continue like this for the time being.

Do I spend more money on bills etc? Not really, Our diets have improved due to healthier meals as I have time to prepare and cook from scratch. Holidays? we lowered our expectations, last year we got a cheap ferry crossing and drove around the lowlands and stayed in some great cheap little hotels. Do I feel lonely? can't say I do as there is so much more to see and enjoy eg garden birds, chatting to dog walkers and neighbours, meeting other people for craft groups.

Life is good, take your time to make your mind up and enjoy your decision, it is only one life we have.