Can anyone help me - good advice / motivation needed

BigAunty

Go to the Debt Free wanabee board and post a SOA (they will tell you how to do this) and they will help you come up with a debt management strategy.

Download the MSE budget planner and work through the site to identify where to slash your expenses (cheapest tariffs, frugal recipes, etc) and how to up your income (check benefit entitlements, take in lodger, etc).

Once you've got a grip on your debts and learn how to live ultra frugally, you can then set about coming up with a new strategies for job seeking and career development, savings, etc.

To buy a house in the area at that price, you'd need to be debt free, put down a deposit of up to 20k, earn 30k plus. Since you've mentioned that they are family sized, it's about time you signed up with online dating to meet a partner earning decent money who you could jointly buy with a few years in the future.

I-Want-To-Move

Thanks for all your replies - feel a bit better now. I have asked them to turn the tv down which they were very nice about but after a few days it goes back up again - turns out they are deaf so have it that loud so they can hear it! I think I will try the acoustic board solution and see if that helps. It's not really a problem downstairs, it's just when i'm trying to sleep. It's only a small bedroom (house is tiny) so if it doesn't take up too much extra space I will price up getting someone in to sort it.

My other prob making me want to move is next door (otherside - im a mid terrace) is a rental property. I didn't know it was rental when i bought, it looked smart enough. I have no probs with the tenants, again they are very nice, it's the owner who is the problem. They don't maintain it and ive had to spend money fixing damp in my house and other things that is their responsibility/fault. It's flippin expensive putting things right that aren't your fault on top of just maintaining/improving your own house! I've tried contacting the owner, letting agents, made enquiries with a solicitor and it is basically tough. Tenants seem to have rights but neighbours don't. Spending so much money and seeing my house damaged because of them especially just before christmas, it was like the icing on the cake.

I am addressing my debts and have agreed payment plans so that is all in hand and although i would like it to move quicker, it is going down and i've made a nice dent in it this year by addressing the situ.

I do need to live more frugally! I'm useless at that. I spend money on things I can't afford (nothing flashy, just the odd trip to playcentres, lunch in a cafe at the park - it all adds up) because in comparison to family and friends I'm the poor one. It's hard for people to understand that the small things add up when they are financially comfortable. I'm a single parent (ex did a runner when I had our child) so financially I'm the only provider and I don't want my child to miss out on anything in life just because I'm on my own so although I hate to admit this, I rarely say no when it comes to opportunities for days out, paydates, lunches etc.

Oh my god this is like a counselling session!!

I-Want-To-Move

LADYXXMACBETH wrote: »

If agree with most of what people say. They probably don't know the tv can be heard through the wall. I think you need to go round in person and tell them that you can hear an awful lot through the wall. It may very we'll be that there is a tv on the wall. Our neighbour had a fish tank pushed right against the wall downstairs and you could here it upstairs they moved it away from the wall no longer hear it.
Have you thought about a bit of sound proofing ? It doesn't have to be expensive. You can buy the tiles cheapish and my neighbour swears by them. Good luck it must be awful.

Your neighbour swears by them....are you the noisy neighbour :rotfl:

I-Want-To-Move

BigAunty wrote: »

Since you've mentioned that they are family sized, it's about time you signed up with online dating to meet a partner earning decent money who you could jointly buy with a few years in the future.

I love the idea of my child having a sibling(s) but I've become very comfortable with my own company...

Halle71

Does your ex contribute towards the upbringing of his child?
If not why not? If he does, is it enough?

Please don't beat yourself up about spending money doing things with your child - life is for living and these years will pass quickly.

I would keep on at the neighbours as well. Politely and kindly but I would still persist. It's not fair on you.

Good luck.

sandsni

Just remember when your child is older they won't remember how much money you spent on them, but how much time you spent with them.

I-Want-To-Move

Halle71 wrote: »

Does your ex contribute towards the upbringing of his child?
If not why not? If he does, is it enough?

Please don't beat yourself up about spending money doing things with your child - life is for living and these years will pass quickly.

I would keep on at the neighbours as well. Politely and kindly but I would still persist. It's not fair on you.

Good luck.

No he doesn't. He is the classic stereotype - sports car, nice house, latest gadgets, holidays, gym membership etc but cannot afford maintenance. I'm used to it by now so it doesn't bother me. Please don't suggest the CSA - the words chocolate and tea pot spring to mind!

I do actually have a decent job and although not great, a decent salary it's just that it doesn't go very far after paying the household bills. There is always something that needs fixing around the house and if there isn't there is something that needs fixing because of next door....

I have thought about asking the neighbours again but don't want to create enemies. If I can hear them, they must be able to hear us (how noisy are we? I have no idea) so as long as the tv is not blaring I think i might give the sound proofing ago first. Can't afford it this year but will make it a priority next year. However if the sound of police chasing and gun shots wake me up (it's always action films - never something nice and gentle like a rom com) I will defo be knocking on telling them to turn it down.

I-Want-To-Move

sandsni wrote: »

Just remember when your child is older they won't remember how much money you spent on them, but how much time you spent with them.

Thanks for that.

I don't go overboard with presents or toys.

I don't feel lonely but we don't have a big family around us so try to go places and do things when I can, keeps us socialising with other people and the reality is I don't have room in my budget to do that. Maybe it's time to get tough next year.

Edinburgh65

You should speak to your neighbours again. If their late night noise is making you feel as though you need to move home, then they need to have a think about that. It's unfortunate that they have hearing issues, but that's not your problem. People need to consider others. If they were 100% nice, they would understand how uncomfortable they are making you feel. Sometimes, people need to be told something more than once. If you do not have the financial means to comfortably move, then you need to prioritise what is more important, retaining the relationship that you have with these relative strangers, or risking falling into debt and having to really tighten your belt, and as other have said you cannot be sure that you would end up moving to a property where peace reigned.

Also bear in mind that life changes, so do not do anything too hasty. I had a tenant from hell living below me for about three years (within a so far 27 year period of being mostly very happy living here), and had I had the means to sell up and move I would have done, but he left unexpectedly and now I am back to having a lovely quiet neighbour, and I am very glad that I did not try to move away when he was going anyway. At the height of our troubles, a friend told me that life always changes and I felt a bit poo poo about her saying that, but yup, she was right.

Unfortunately, most of us are at the mercy of our neighbours, but most of them are decent people. It is however very difficult when they are not.

Tiddlywinks

Play ambient sounds in your bedroom at night... place the CD player or MP3 player or whatever in between you and the noisy wall and it will gradually fool your brain into concentrating on that rather than the noisy neighbours.

Amazon have some great natural sound downloads (not the new age chimes stuff)... I like the distant storm one myself.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_0_14?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-music&field-keywords=natural+sounds&sprefix=natural+sounds%2Cpopular%2C284&rh=n%3A77197031%2Ck%3Anatural+sounds&ajr=0

I always use this if I stay in hotels to cover the noise of people walking to and from rooms at silly o'clock in the morning.