Fantasty world

System

Just the things that I have come across both in a chat room and then knowing them in real life. There doesnt seem to be much difference except they are living what appears to be two seperate lives and has the ability to fabricate stories in both. My question was do you think this is sustainable?

InsideInsurance

Danjames wrote: »

Don't get involved with anyone in a chat room, better safe than sorry! You have no idea of what someone is really like or more importantly their motivations.

Yes, because the guy you meet in the bar on a night out after a few glasses of wine you are going to know instantly including all their motives :mad:

Without doubt, some create online personnas for themselves that are massively removed from reality but others play themselves online.

Excluding the ability to throw fireballs, arguably its hard to say which is the "real" one. A friend is chronically shy and if you ever coax him out the house you'll never get a peep out of him but put him infront of a keyboard and he can debate and argue better than anyone else I know. Which is the "real" him?

Of cause online people can change more than just their personalities and can lie about their jobs, marital status, income etc but then they can do that in person too.

Is someone trying to change themselves (online or off) sustainable? Depends on how far removed they are trying to be. Certainly maintaining you've only slept with one other person probably is, the fact you are a billionaire when in reality your NMW probably isnt.

How do you tell the real from the fake? If anyone knew the answer to that definitively there'd be few divorces and almost no failed criminal prosecutions. Ultimately the online aspect is a red herring, its a case of ensuring consistency as its much easier to remember reality than it is a concocted story but even then, tell yourself the same lie enough times and it can be difficult to remember reality from the lie.

stir_crazy

lilacinbloom wrote: »

Just the things that I have come across both in a chat room and then knowing them in real life. There doesnt seem to be much difference except they are living what appears to be two seperate lives and has the ability to fabricate stories in both. My question was do you think this is sustainable?

It depends on the person how long they can sustain it after you met. When you're online its easy to go back and check what you wrote in order to keep a story or theme going, but in real life you'd have to either believe your own lies or have a good memory to keep it up.

I have one of those faces that are easy to read, so getting someone to believe something I made up in the first place would be almost impossible for me, never mind sustaining it.

meer53

If someone fabricates stories in either real life or a fantasy world, you should not have anything to do with them. Relationships should be built on trust and honesty, not deceit and make believe. Whether it's sustainable or not, it's a very bad idea.

System

# meer53 - Im coming around to that way of thinking. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but when you are faced with someone who is so believeable it is hard to distinguish the truth from their fantasy world.

Hermia

lilacinbloom wrote: »

Do you think it is possible for something who is comfortable with a cyber life to try and make their real life work in the same way?

Whilst I would definitely run away from anyone who was lying and pretending to be a different person, I don't think it's that odd for someone to try and become like their cyber self in real life. The online world is a great place to try out aspects of your personality that you are too timid to let out in real life.

System

#Hermia, that's another perspective and a more sympathic angle to look at the shift between cyber world and reality. I believe this person has been extremely controlling, maybe wishing to share time with someone who doesn't rely on them totally and can make decisions and possibly a challenge to them, well at least that's what it is starting to appear to me.