Fantasty world

Legacy_user

Do you think it is possible for something who is comfortable with a cyber life to try and make their real life work in the same way?

heartbreak_star

You're going to have to elaborate further on that for me, I'm afraid.

If you play Second Life, for example, you could probably make yourself look and act more like your avatar.

However, I played WoW for some time, and still can't throw a fireball.

HBS x

System

ok. If someone is comfortable in chat rooms and can create as you say an avatar or a alter ego but they find themselves taking this into real life - do you think this is sustainable? More to the point how can the other person tell. I believe this has happened to me and I have been involved with an alter ego i.e. a married man. Does that explain a bit?

Danjames

Don't get involved with anyone in a chat room, better safe than sorry! You have no idea of what someone is really like or more importantly their motivations.

heartbreak_star

Fantasies are rarely sustainable for the simple reason a person will always put the best of themselves forward online - or, in fact, create an entirely different persona.

If you "fall in love" with this "perfect" but entirely fictional persona, at best you're likely to be pretty disappointed with the real life one. At worst...they could be married, a different gender, a different age, or even a criminal.

HBS x

DigForVictory

I don't get involved with chat rooms or (within reason) married men.
If you aren't certain about someone on-line, trust your hindbrain & bale!
(If you are under 18, consider reporting them.)

System

I have only found out about this cyber life. I have had a 'relationship' of sorts with this person for two years but am starting to think that they have transcended the chat room into real life and I am the equivalent of their 'friend' on a chat room. I suppose anything is possible.

stir_crazy

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Fantasies are rarely sustainable for the simple reason a person will always put the best of themselves forward online - or, in fact, create an entirely different persona.

If you "fall in love" with this "perfect" but entirely fictional persona, at best you're likely to be pretty disappointed with the real life one. At worst...they could be married, a different gender, a different age, or even a criminal.

HBS x

Agreed. I stayed with my DH's friend for 3 weeks and watched him play second life almost constantly. The character he portrayed in the game was entirely different from him in real life. He was only looking for a form of escapism for himself but there are people out there who actively try to manipulate others by getting them to like or even fall in love with them online.

giantmutantbroccoli

My guess is it will depend a lot on just how far removed their alter ego is from their real life personality. Some people treat avatars and online personas as an aspirational fantasy, and it depends just how far that goes as to whether it's sustainable or even possible to keep it going in real life.

But then, I'd say that a guy who has an alter ego that is single when his real life self is married, and who takes that single alter ego out into the real world, is not just acting out a harmless fantasy. Ignore the online component for a minute and consider what's really going on here - a married man arranged to meet you and told you he is single when he isn't. It's very straightforward.

Just a bit of advice that you may or may not need, but if you're meeting people IRL that you only know online you should follow the same sort of safety advice that is suggested when you do online dating. Treat the guy as a complete unknown, because however long you've been chatting together you don't really know how much of what's been said is true. Arrange to meet in a public place that you know well, tell your real life friends where you're going and when you should be back, arrange to text someone part way through to let them know you're ok (or not), don't give the guy your home address, etc.

System

I dont think the alter ego is that far removed from their own personality so it is hard to work out truth from fiction. Anyway thanks for your posts. It has given me something to think about.

heartbreak_star

lilacinbloom wrote: »

I dont think the alter ego is that far removed from their own personality so it is hard to work out truth from fiction.

How would you know...?

HBS x