What should Sophie do?

January20

Sophie was married to Paul for many years. They had children.
Then they divorced because Paul had met someone else, who he subsequently married.
Sophie remained friendly with Paul's cousin, Peter (and his wife). Paul couldn't understand that his cousin would still be friends with his ex-wife and consequently fell out with him. Paul wanted all his family to have nothing to do with his ex-wife.
Eventually, Paul and Peter made up, and Sophie distanced herself a little from Peter and his wife because every meeting had to be in secrecy as Paul couldn't accept any of family would have contact with her.
Peter has kept in touch with Sophie through text messages, but not because he cares about her and the children but because he needs help with answers to quizzes and crossword questions. Sophie feels used and has had enough. She has not answered the last text message yet.
What should she do?

Dani85

Sophie should cut off all contact with the nasty using piece of work!! xxx

djdido2

She should text him her own crossword question!

Eg. Non winner (5 letters) Clue begins with L.

or answer the following quiz question.

Are you a man or a mouse?

HTH

BernadetteN

Sophie should act like an adult, even if the other adults are acting like children.

If there are children involved, any divorce involving parents or other relatives should make no difference to any contact between relations. It is not the children's fault so the children at least should be able to see their aunts, uncles and any cousins. (There are circumstances where this is not possible, such as physical, emotional, sexual abuse or neglect but these don't appear relevant in this situation). Is it worth cutting contact over a crossword???

January20

BernadetteN, what if the uncle, aunts etc don't care about seeing the children? Paul sees his children regularly, but doesn't take them to see his relatives. The children are teenagers now.

You misunderstood: this is not about a crossword. This about one man dictating to all his family that they cannot have any contact with his ex-wife. They all comply, I think because they are scared of the repercussions. His cousin and wife will see the ex-wife but not openly. Peter will contact her for his own purposes as long as Paul doesn't know.

In reality the crossword clues might just be a detail I changed, an example I used to "protect" the people involved in the story.

RadoJo

It sounds to me as though Peter has maintained contact with Sophie for his own gain, and wouldn't have bothered had it not been for what he gets out of it. When a couple splits up it can be hard for family who want to keep in touch, expecially if it is acrimonious, but considering that Peter is the one who seems to have chosen to end the relationship it is up to each individual how they continue with relationships they have already forged. If Peter and his wife allowed themselves to be bullied by Paul into failing to maintain that contact in a positive way, rather than a one-sided information service, then they probably aren't bothering about!

ziggy2004

She should just not reply if he is only using her then he is a 'friend' she could do without. Telling him would only cause more hassle and if she is important to him then he will contact her properly.

( my mean side says she should give him wrong answers till he gets the message)

X Anne

outrageous_monkey

I like Ziggy's idea of sending all the wrong answers, lol.:rotfl:

Seriously, Sophie should just bar his number.

Errata

They all need to grow up and stop indulging in infant school playground behaviour.

KittyKate

Are we REALLY talking crosswords here?

If so, then if that's all he is using you for, cutting him off will surely make no difference to your life..unless you really like answering crosswords.

If it's NOT crosswords, and something a bit more, er 'two across', then Sophie should take note that Peter and Paul have made up with each other because they are both unfaithful a-holes.

They both sound like pr!cks to me. Ditch the entire family and go out and find friends who don't need to keep friendship secret (is what I'd say to Sophie).

djdido2

Yeah that was the point i was trying to make. Too weak to stand ground and not get involved in what sounds like childsplay.

Anyone who is not friends with an adult because a couple have fallen out needs serious help. My ex had a huge family and they were lovely when we were together, it didn't work out and we went our seperate ways. Now they all ignore me and blank me in the street. I just laugh to myself at there utter immaturity.

IGNORE!!!