Birthday Invitation

Cotta

Hello All,

The wife of one of my best friends sent me a text message inviting me to a surprise birthday party for him. I would have loved to have went but my work Christmas party is on the same night so I replied advising this. I then got a response that if I changed my mind to let her know as there was a fee for the meal involved.

Now no mention of a fee in the original message and is it normal to be imposing fees on people whom you invite to a birthday party? I maybe out of touch on this one which is why I'm asking for opinions on here.

Thank you.

tea_lover

Maybe she meant she had a fee to pay, so needed to know numbers to give the restaurant. That's how it would have come across to me.

chelseablue

tea_lover wrote: »

Maybe she meant she had a fee to pay, so needed to know numbers to give the restaurant. That's how it would have come across to me.

Thats how I read it too

Cotta

No it was a fee that I had to pay prior to the party.

tea_lover

In that case then no, that's not usual IME! If you were all going for a meal and paying for your own food that's one thing, but paying to go a party... no! Sounds like a good thing you had a prior engagement.

LEJC

if the text was something along the lines of "having a party for x at y resturant do you want to come"...then yes I probably would have thought that I would need to pay for what I ate....however if it was worded..."having a bit of a do at our house"....then I probably would just arrive with a present and a bottle or 2 of wine.

Cotta

The party is in a pub local to them which is an absolute dive.

peachyprice

It is a party or a celebration meal? People often say 'party' when they mean meal out for a birthday.

LEJC

Cotta wrote: »

The party is in a pub local to them which is an absolute dive.

That may well be the case IYO...however if there is a meal involved then usually or in my experience the guests that are invited usually pay.

If theres a buffet then probably not....

In these sort of circumstances if ive had to pay for a meal then I usually give just a token present or a card....and if ive not had to pay for a meal then I pay a little more for the present.

Cotta

peachyprice wrote: »

It is a party or a celebration meal? People often say 'party' when they mean meal out for a birthday.

Well I think it's a finger buffet from what I can gather but even if I only go to the late evening part after my work meal has ended I still incur a fee.

LEJC

Cotta wrote: »

Well I think it's a finger buffet from what I can gather but even if I only go to the evening part after my work meal has ended I still incur a fee.

Dependant on how good a friend he is then I guess its up to you if you go there afterwards...its not worth falling out over it...

I'm sure if you pop a card and present in for him on the evening and dont stay then you probably wont get charged...or better still pop round and see him at home the following day!