Too much effort on reducing and not enough on growing?

Storm

GreenNinja - I'm completely with you, I immediately thought of Becky Bloomwood too!

I think when SoAs go up it's actually really important for almost everything to be questioned, simply because it makes the person really think about all their outgoings. Food budgets can be difficult, due to differing amounts of time people have to cook and confidence in the kitchen etc. Often a food budget will be questioned only for the reply that it's feeding loads of people, plus pets, plus nappies for babies etc and everyone agrees it's a really tight budget.

I think what's really important though is that I've definitely seen differentiation of advice depending on individual circumstances - when someone is not even managing minimum payments each month they will be advised to ditch Sky completely, but if they just need to free up a bit more money each month then often they're just advised to reduce the package.

At the end of the day, I think we all need some little luxuries along the DFW road, as most of us are going to be here for a while, and it's up to individuals what those luxuries are.

Queen.Bess

I think I go with what most people have said on this thread - that we only give advice and we can't presume that people can always make money. However it is their choice: if they want to get debt free they cut, how much they cut back by depends on how quickly they want to get rid of their debt!

Broken_hearted

I can't imagine spending £300 let alone £500 on a months shopping, we eat well judging by my weight too well. The fridge is full of fresh fruit and veg even some cream cakes for the kids tonight:o

DAVETHE_CARDBOARDBOX

Perhaps my position does come about from the size of my debt. £75 on a dinner party represents one two thousandth of my debt. I'm not going to repay this by cutting that out.

perhaps its 500 decisions like that that created the debt ?
Just a thought ;~)

(over even 2000 decisions like that) maybe its my maths that did me in !

MRSMCAWBER

Hi there

This thread is very interseting..so i thought id stick my 2pence in too...:D

I think everyone is different..some people are probably willing/able to take on extra work to pay for the extras.... but others dont have that option so adjusting the outgoings is the only option...in my case:-

There is only me and hubby.....and i realised that we will spend more when we have more....rather than keep living on the same level and saving the extra....my husband is in the forces and im on IB, so usually our income is set..at hubbies wage....but in a couple of weeks we are back off to Germany for 3 years :j ...now this makes a fair bit of difference to our income/outgoings..... in as much as :-
hubby gets an extra allowance of about £200 a month for us
we will pay no car tax
no tv liecence
we get tax free petrol - so it will work out about half what we pay here
anything over 50euros we can get tax free
and german supermarkets are so much cheaper than here...

So it would be very tempting to go out there and keep on spending.. knowing that our loans will be paid off by the time my hubby has done his extra 5 years..and that the lump sum from his pension at that time will get rid of our mortgage..so we know that by the time i hit 40 and hubby 47 we will be debt and mortgage free...initially my hubby wanted to sell the house that we are buying at the moment (currently let out -so someone else is paying the mortgage:D ) and buy somewhere with a bit more space.. but it is a 3 bed terrace and we have no kids as yet...and that would mean taking out a bigger mortgage and hubby working longer and harder...by convincing him to stay put we will have his pension plus whatever he earns - depending on what job he takes...all free to do with what we want...i lost my dad at 48 he his at 45 so im looking at us getting to spend quality time together rather than living in a bigger "better" house and him working himself into the ground.

I qualified as a chef when i was 18...so am more than able to concoct a meal from just about anything..... and yet the amount of food i must have thrown away or we have eaten in waste over this last few years is shamefull, if anyone saw my list the other day "guess what i found in my fridge" i have lobster, crab, fillet steak, the works and worked out that apart from milk i wont have to buy any food before the removal guys arrive on the 29th and im still gonna have more than we can eat....

So for me i am finally learning that spending more money on food, books etc doesnt make me and hubby any happier...or give us a better standard of living....but knowing i have made dinner without dipping into my purse again gives me such satisfaction:T .....

so i guess at the end of the day we all have to do what we think is best for our families...but that is what is sooooo great about this forum... you get so many opinions from soo many people....all of which help..

i think i had better stop here as its turning into war and peace -sorry ...my 2 pence worth turned into £2:D

Tashja

Ok I have an excuse for putting on SOME weight (projected weight of baby is 9lb) but I cannot justify putting on the amount I am putting on !! lol

Going to have to watch the portion sizes I think.

This has been a really interesting disussion though !!!

T xx

oops_a_daisy

silkglade wrote: »

I want to say thank you for your refreshing and different point of view :T

I have to admit that my family and I have not lived at all since starting to pay off our debt, we have existed and nothing more - We did not bugdet for ANYTHING apart from monthly bills, food and petrol.

Since feb last year my kids have gone nowhere and done nothing during the holidays, only playing with the toys they already had. I feel really bad for them as all their friends have been on holiday and had special treats etc.

We have felt so totally miserable at times - it really seems endless and I think you are right that to keep motivated you need the little treats at times and to go out and socialise, my friends from work have arranged evenings out etc but I don't go as I know I would be worried about every penny that I spent and I would panic if anyone else got in a round thinking "I can't afford to buy a round"


What a bloody life!! well I suppose that due to the hardship that we have been through I can honestly say that we will NEVER be in that position EVER again

quote taken from silkglades signature

LAST ONE LEFT :j :dance: :j Tesco CC £1250.85 NOW £942.72 0% TILL 16th JUNE

Intended debt free date: 24th July 07

sorry havent read all of this thread and I know a bit of topic but just wanted to say a big WELL DONE to silkglade for everything that you have been through and getting your debt down so much in such a little time :T


right back to my cup of tea and reading the thread




edited to add - just read a bit more and I remember Becky Bloomwood too - hilarious book

silkglade

thank you so much opps....

It really means alot to me, I can tell you. I only found this site a short while ago really and I am sooooo grateful for all the support and advice from everyone.

From feb 06 I started doing HUGE amounts of overtime to start putting a big dent in the debts we had, we are very fortunate to almost be at the end now, but at the time I found this site and all you wonderful people I really needed some support to get to the end.

I have to say that reading Immoral Angel's diary was the best thing I ever did!!! It really gave me the kick up the @rse I needed.

I also read some great idea's from other's debt diary. As I had done so much already I did not think it appropriate to start my own diary.

We also had £499 and £320 on top of the debt for broken down washing machine and new sofas (not very DFW though)

Zulu_Dawn

Reading ZuluDawns initial post made me smile, it made me think of a novel I have read many times, the secret dream world of a shopoholic, where the heroine of the story who is a mad shopping freak is trying to sort her life out and reads a self help book and is advised that there are 2 ways to manage your money, "make more money" or "cut back". Anybody who has read the book will probably understand why this has tickled me.

I am off to the bookshop to get diary of a shopaholic immediateley.

......only joking. I am going to borrow it from the library or buy it second hand from a charity shop.

Perhaps my position does come about from the size of my debt. £75 on a dinner party represents one two thousandth of my debt. I'm not going to repay this by cutting that out.

perhaps its 500 decisions like that that created the debt ?
Just a thought ;~)

(over even 2000 decisions like that) maybe its my maths that did me in !

I wondered the same when I posted this. However if I had one £75 barbecue every month and no-one ever invited me back, it would take 161 years to create the level of debt I have racked up!

Anyone fancy a cold sausage?;)


ZD

cupid_s

Broken_hearted wrote: »

I can't imagine spending £300 let alone £500 on a months shopping, we eat well judging by my weight too well.

I am similar - our grocery budget is £200pm (for two of us) and if we go over I think it's awful. But I think nothing of spending the equivalent of that each month on holidays. In our first year of marriage we spent over 11k on holidays but actually I don't think it was a waste of money.

Holidays are all we have in terms of extravagance and I'd rather go without an awful lot and still be able to have my nice holidays. The problem comes when people have a massive shopping budget, lots of meals out, a large entertainment budget, two holidays a year and the latest sky tv package and think that they can't (wont?) cut down on their outgoings.

The key is to stick to a couple of 'luxuries' and choose them well.