Too much effort on reducing and not enough on growing?

silkglade

I want to say thank you for your refreshing and different point of view :T

I have to admit that my family and I have not lived at all since starting to pay off our debt, we have existed and nothing more - We did not bugdet for ANYTHING apart from monthly bills, food and petrol.

Since feb last year my kids have gone nowhere and done nothing during the holidays, only playing with the toys they already had. I feel really bad for them as all their friends have been on holiday and had special treats etc.

We have felt so totally miserable at times - it really seems endless and I think you are right that to keep motivated you need the little treats at times and to go out and socialise, my friends from work have arranged evenings out etc but I don't go as I know I would be worried about every penny that I spent and I would panic if anyone else got in a round thinking "I can't afford to buy a round"

What a bloody life!! well I suppose that due to the hardship that we have been through I can honestly say that we will NEVER be in that position EVER again

angelavdavis

Sorry ZD, just realised I hadn't covered the income bit.

My approach when I review someone's SOA is to first ask whether there is anywhere they could potentially cut back.

Once this is reviewed and highlighted, I then look at the other posts to see if anyone has mentioned potential income opportunities.

Sometimes, SOAs are already tight so income is the only solution for some.

For example, if someone has loads of catalogue/credit card debt, its usually because they have bought stuff that they can potentially eBay (I say usually, but don't want to pigeon hole anyone on here and know everyone is different in their circumstances).

Other suggestions include taking in lodgers, part time work, AQA, etc but it depends on individual circumstances and what my fellow DFWs have suggested previously.

Kaz2904

Part of getting out of debt is figuring out how/why you got into it in the first place. For many of us it was the gradual process of spending more than we earned rather than a catastrophe.
Many of us on here have been through the process of cutting things down to the bare minimum so that we can decide what is really important to us to spend the money on.
You are complaining that you have spent 2 weeks food budget on feeding 12 people once. What you haven't noticed is that that is 3 families and if the other two families return the favour (as most do) then it will be a reduction in spends.
I too like socialising and when we have a barbecue it comes out of our family leisure budget (and doesn't cost £75!).
I understand what you are saying but very few of us are able to maximise our incomes and those of us who can are unable to do it long term. It is a quick fix and a simplistic viewpoint.
If it was the reality that maximising income would clear your debts then very high earners would never get into debt would they (and we've never seen any on this board have we!).
The trick to getting out of debt is to learn how to MANAGE our money.

Burlesque_Babe

I guess it depends on how quickly people want to clear their debt.

If cutting out the gym membership (and walking/cycling/running etc for free) frees, say £35 a month, that might clear a store card within a year and then in turn save even more towards the next debt.

I guess it also depends on an individual's perception of a 'nice meal'. A three course meal for 4 could be homemade tomato soup, a slow cooked beef and ale casserole and home made apple pie and cream for very little and I'm sure the friends would be just as appreciative as if it had been smoked salmon, beef wellington and Tesco Finest Chocolate Torte.

I think it's about where everyone is 'starting from' and whether they even realise that they can make big cuts by careful planning for food rather than the blind buying that many do (think of shopping trolley's on Christmas Eve)

When I joined MSE nearly two years ago £300 + was 'normal' every month - for two of use!!!! I can't even understand how I spent that much now and I'm quite ashamed of this figure. I must have been throwing away a helll of a lot and I cook from scratch every day!

I see a takeaway now as a real treat and savour it, whereas in my pre-MSE days I saw them as almost 'owed' to me due to working and bringing in a half decent salary even though I had debt.

It's about balance and suggesting ways to save (and grow) which might not have been apparent. Mystery shopping was new to me and just brings me an extra £20 a so a month in - money which is now going to go in the mortgage free tin, but may, if I really am in need of a treat might go on a guilt free takeaway.

I'm now debt free other than my mortgage and so glad I was frugal for a while as the weight off my mind is unbelievable, but being careful has become a way of life and I think for newbies (and not so newbies!!) putting up SOA's, it is about offering all the options and letting them see what fits in with their life and also their desires to be become debt free.

blackangeluk

[To me, Money-saving is about cutting back on stuff that is just wasteful - like buying sandwiches for £3 a go or paying OTT for your electric/gas or not shopping around for something, or paying 19% on your credit card balance when you could switch it to a 0% somewhere else. I am afraid personally, I also include Sky in this one as I think it's a complete rip-off at over £500 per year to watch various channels re-gurgitating programmes and the odd good film for which you pay extra for!) But everyone is different and has different priorities.]

I completely agree with you, when people post their SOA's on this board everyone is looking at where they can immediately cut costs. I know when I posted I had a lot of practical support which caused me to look around for cheaper suppliers/insurance etc and saved nearly £200 a month. Short term that has helped me no end and put me back onto the road and working through my debt.

I think if your priority is to reduce your debt then you will do what is necessary. I have cut my food bill down drastically, I now shop at Aldis instead of Tescos but we eat better than ever. My food bill has been £240 this month and we have eaten brilliantly. I have just finished off a home made spinach lasagne for lunch . I do not think that to live on £200 a month food is classed as a "starvation diet". We have also started a veg patch in the back garden and got our first radishes last night (I was so excited and I don't even like them!:rotfl: )

I want to get rid of my debt sooner rather than later and therefore I am prepared to go without. Personally (and I do not mean to offend) had I invited people round to a BBQ I would have happily supplied the food but told them to bring their own drink. When I have friends round, it is an unspoken thing that everyone brings a bottle, suppose it is something we have always done.

I have been invited to a friend's birthday night out on Saturday, pre LBM I would have gone, but to go I will ruin my budget for the whole month - so I'm not going. BUT that is my sacrifice because I have got myself into this situation and I can't get myself out of it without some sacrifices. I do not think that being a DFW has meant that we can't entertain/go out, but we do it in more economical ways. We have a dinner party planned with two other couples at our house and we are all doing a course each and BYO booze - have done these before and have a lot of fun, and it's very cheap :T

I do agree people should look to make more money, but this is suggested to them re ebay, amazon, quidco etc. Some people do not have the time for a 2nd job and there is only so much you can do to make money and it is easier to suggest ways to save money instead.

Just my opinion.......

angelavdavis

silkglade wrote: »

What a bloody life!! well I suppose that due to the hardship that we have been through I can honestly say that we will NEVER be in that position EVER again

You are right - its c**p! But, you have done so well and actually, you won't have to continue this much longer now as you are nearly there. You have also learned the lesson that sadly some of us have to learn.

That the cost of debt is so much more than the bills, it essentially robs you of your life. Which is the incentive for getting rid of as much as possible - if you physically are able to.

Your kids won't remember times when you have "gone without" and you can teach your kids a valuable lesson that so many of us didn't receive - the real cost of debt.

smudgemanc26

I think the advice given on here after people have posted their SOA is worth listening too and although i havent posted mine 1) cos i already have one from the CAB office and 2) i really dont think i could cut down anymore as i dont have that much to spend each month anyway! I have taken on board peoples suggestions and comments from other threads and agree some things bought or paid for are luxury items and can be obtained far cheaper or cut out all together to save you quite alot of money once added up.

Its advice at the end of the day and you dont have to do it if you dont want but when it states how much you could save and if you are truely committed to paying off your debt then surely you can live without some of these 'luxuries' for a little while until you are back on the straight and narrow.

I have just been in asda for a card in my lunch hour and have noticed that alot of people buy the cheaper brands and to be honest who can blame them eh on essentials. A 15p tin of chopped tomatoes cant taste that much different when adding to a recipe than the ones that cost £1.50+!

I am very conscious now when i go shopping to find cheaper alternatives and offers and im sure after doing this for a while i will be able to see the benefits in how much i have spare each month.

So well done to all those people who give advice on how to save money! :T

rayday2

Just had a look at OP sig and I would not sleep with unsecured debt of that much let alone have the heart to entertain for one evening and spend nearly £100!

The biggest thing I have learnt from MSE is to cut back, that has meant that I now can long term save, pay my debts off quicker and have a relatively stress free life. We go on holiday next month its been saved for no cc, when we come back we have a huge birthday party for two of my girls, hiring a bouncy castle etc over 30 people coming and it is costing £60 in total paid for by cashback from quidco.

I shop at Netto now - we love it - its smaller quicker to get round, we can go trolley happy fill it up slip a bit of the old alcohol in and luxuries and its £50 tops at cash till. I went to Asda a few weeks back hardly had anything and it was £80 it made me feel physically sick to think that I hardly had any bits and had spent nearly two weeks shopping.

OP makes everything sound grim like all of us that are reducing expenditure live the life of a hermit its the complete opposite we now have our lives back but we are a lot wiser - why waste money on food? Its very limited I would rather provide more for my children and take them out than have lavish banquets!

silkglade

I have to say that some people on here have done a FANTASTIC job so far and they have achieved so much..... WELL DONE TO YOU ALL.

I really have taken some wonderful advice and stolen some rather tasty recipies that are really cheap.

The one best and biggest advice I have taken from you wonderful lot is that meal planning and budgeting really DOES work. I have no waste now and we always have all the meals we need and only need to top up on Milk and bread during the week. I always look forward to sitting down with hubby and deciding what we will be eating for the next week.

I find that we keep having my old favs and really tasty meals too. Also the biggest bonus is that in changing our life so much I have lost OVER 3 stone in weight too :T

anniestar

Also, regarding the whole cooking / budgeting issue. When there are debts and "things" happen(in our case serious illness in others job etc) sometimes there is a feeling of things being almost out of control. The whole budgeting meal planning stuff allowed me to feel that I had regained some control over a situation that I found hard to deal with. I know that I used to feel SO bad throwing stuff away that I had let go off totting up how much had ben wasted. Now things are so different I had to throw a mango away that was rotten(got from Tesco) but as I only go to Tesco once a week at most it wasn't worth the time and expence. It was annoying but ONLY annoying. NOT a crisis. Not anymore.