New and bit scared

dancingfairy

I think it's basically a question of priorities.
A dmp may be possible but I can't see the creditors being too understanding that you are paying 300 pounds on children activities (or whatever the actual figure was) whilst not being able to pay them, no matter how gifted your children are.
You can reduce your childrens expenses (and possibly do a dmp).
You can downsize the house.
You can sell and rent.

You have various different options to consider. I think it's what you as a family wish to prioritise. A nice (but very expensive house) or helping the kids with their sporting activities. You need to find a solution that's right for your family.
Or you could soldier on for a few more years but accept that your son will need to find a way to pay for his tennis at some point. Whether that's a paper round or getting local sponsorship or helping out with lessons in return for cheaper coaching.
I think you need to sit down with your wife and discuss all the options and then sit down with your children.
df

dancingfairy

You need to keep a spending diary so you know exactly what you are spending.
Also in relation to the tennis, do you have to do all the tournaments? Can you prioritise? Can you try and arrange a deal on hotels if you know other parents in the same boat? Share transport? that sort of thing?
Best of Luck
df

Tabatha_Kitten

Ive just subscribed to your thread David because I think you have a great attitude and are going rise to this challange and beat this.
The key is to get the wife and the kids on board, get that soa to balance and stick to it.
It wont be easy at first but I think with determination you will soon make a big dent in that debt once that happens you will be in a much better position to address that mortgage too.

David72_2

Wow. I haven't been able to check this thread for a couple of days for various reasons and I have come back to such lovely and helpful posts. Thank you all so so much - I'd like to thank you all by commenting individually but there are so many of you! I have cut out one life insurance policy and we have reduced the number of tennis tournaments. Waiting to hear re wife's credit card to shift some of the heavy interest debt. Also going to have a weekend of e baying - am targeting the playmobil my children have outgrown as have all the figures and the boxes - perfect christmas presents!

Re the tennis generally my son is only 9 so can't really earn money by helping out. I have thought about local sponsors but I also don't want him to feel under pressure to perform for sponsors. Need to think about that one.

Ultimately I am pretty convinced we will have to sell the house - it was too expensive for us in the first place hence the problems. In hindsight the fact we had to borrow money from my parents to just about afford an interest free mortgage, at a time when my wife was going to be earning less was very stupid indeed. Will be interested to see what the mortgage broker says on Monday.

Spending diary been going since Monday and will keep it up. Was a bad time for my children to be invited to 3 separate birthday parties this week-end - going to get the children to make the cards and will be as realistic as I can with the presents!

Thanks again to everyone. Got to stay positive.

Happier_Me

Hi

Sounds like you're forming a plan!

A quick thought on birthday presents - home bargains is brilliant if you have one in your area. You can order online and they normally deliver in store. You can get decent gifts for £5 or less that are so much more expensive elsewhere.

Good luck.

Verbatim

Might be useful to look back at Hypno's old threads. She's now debt free but had £100k debt and 2 ski-ing teens who also did Karate. The ski-ing was at avery high level as I recall with trips abroad.
I would say not to rush into decisions about selling just yet. When the new lifestyle/ budgets have settled down and you have shifted some debt to 0%
cards that wld be the time for a 5 year plan/ look at how things cld pan out over the medium term. Obviously putting at least some of the mortgage onto repayment as soon as hou can would be good. Whether your joint income is likely to increase over the next few years wld be relevant here as well as how quickly some debts will be repaid and or put onto 0% freeing up more cash.

dancingfairy

Yes, I don't recommend selling the house as a knee jerk reaction. See how the budget goes first and have a long hard think. You may find that you can get on top of things a lot quicker than you had anticipated or that moving won't fee up as much money as you'd hoped.
df

dancingfairy

Sounds like you're off to a flying start.
df

mum2one

Just popped back to see how you are, its a difficult time once the SOA is up, but you took the hardest step.

If you can get the spending sorted, and groceries cut back and unnecessarities gone, your still be able to keep your childrens activities and pay back the debts.

Def use the 0% offer on your wifes card, and chuck the min at it, but have some ready for the end of the interest period. If you can get rid of one card there is a chance they may come back after a couple of months and offer you a better deal eg transer 0% etc.

As for the house, for now see if you can hold onto it, I know the etiquity isn't much, but as you have said your need to spend money on then estate agent fees, look for somewhere else.

It sounds like your doing a really good job keeping the spending diary, and with this you can base a new SOA on it, and try to plan that for the next month, cut back a little at a time.

As for birthday presents, my DD is 11, but what I did when she was younger was keep a couple of boys presents and girls presents in hand, so if a party invite turned up at short notice, there was a present ready, got replaced and come christmas I had a couple of presents ready and started again.

Def ebay, sell on facebook local sellers page, have you got a free newspaper, for us we have one on a Thursday and its free adverts as long as there £100, you may have to wait a week for your advert to appear, but generally any toys etc that my daughter had grown out of we put in there and they'd generally go, car boot sales. anything all helps x

mummygems

(I am new to this forum but lurk all the time!).

Well done for facing things it sounds like you are doing really well.

As for selling things, dont forget about Gumtree as there are no fees and people usually pay you in cash. I just sold a couple of larger items on there (sofa, buggy etc).

Good luck.