New and bit scared

bess1234_2

Instead of all or nothing, do a breakdown of how many kids activities a week, how old the kids? Can they still have all but once a week, or choose favourite. Depending on their ages, there will be endless activities to come.

You have to live within your means, and you can, but you have to accept you have a fixed but generous income, and your choices have to be less than that. Would you rather give up your house than sky and ready meals? It's a genuine question as I'm sensing ambivalence re your house, before you've even tried to live within your means

David72_2

Thanks Tulip and TCC (if you'll excuse the familiarity!).

I am south west too! Yes rent would be higher than our mortgage is (currently). The Dad loan can be extended - I am not under pressure there.

I do worry about the mortgage being interest free - meeting mortgage broker later this week to discuss generally.

Point taken re my children but they might be too young to understand this.

I really want to avoid the DMP if I can.

David72_2

Hi Bess. I really would rather keep the house if I can but as stated earlier in the thread it is a bit of a millstone and interest only and once the rates go up etc etc . . .

Guess that's why I need to get the monthly expenses down now before the rate does go up.

eyeopener2

Hey, there's always a way out of this. It takes time, some tough decisions and planning, but it can be done. I had £25k of debt but got through it, Via a DMP. It's scary at first but you soon settle into it.

One thing about your children and tennis,etc.

They won't be damaged by ending the lessons - if indeed it comes to that -, ok it may make you look bad in the eyes of other parents but so what? Your priority is giving them a safe, loving home which they clearly have. That's all kids want (and a lot don't get), kids are resilient, they understand more than you think and they don't want an unhappy daddy cos he's stressing over money.

Keep all options open and then decide. Don't think I can't do x, put everything on the table and see what you can afford after the basics are paid and your debts have a realistic repayment plan. If you can't afford x, then it goes, if you can afford part of x then it can stay.

You will be fine, it's just hard realising your human and made some money mistakes. We've all been there.

kwmlondon

Look, could you take in a lodger? Do you have a spare room? If you live somewhere with commuters you could maybe rent to someone mon-fri only.

MoneyMission

Hi David

Our family set ups are almost identical - ages, number of kids and income. Even our mortgages are pretty similar sizes (ours is a bit bigger though ). So you are not alone in feeling the pinch with expenses!

Hope you don't mind but I don't want you to cry and I wanted to let you know how we manage some things:

We spend £85.00 per week on groceries. Thats everything for all 4 of us. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. The £85.00 covers cleaning products and toiletries too. It is sometimes hard sticking to this level and maybe a tad repetitive but it really can be done. In a 4 week month thats a total of £340.00.

We have freeview - no sky.

Our mobiles are £10 per month each but I'm just out of contract and going to drop to £5 per month on Giff gaff.

Our gas and electric are lower too. Combined £92 per month (for a 4-bed semi). Turn it all off when not in use. Nothing on standby. No tumble drier (don't have one).

Our childrens clubs are £270 per term (not month). They're allowed two clubs each: scouts and judo for one, brownies and piano for the other. My daughter is desparate to pony ride but at the moment I just can't afford it - even if she stopped piano.

Please please don't cry.

Everything will be alright in the end. If it isn't alright, then it isn't the end.

MM

David72_2

Good idea kwm but no spare room I'm afraid.

And thanks eyeopener 2 - yes good points - re the tennis the difficult thing is that my son plays for his county and at national level - he has got so much confidence from it and lives and breathes it so much. And he is rather sensitive and fragile. Am going to try and cut it down along with everything else and see how we do.

MoneyMission

Oooh. And I have a sensitive and fragile boy too!

tulip28

You know David you will have to get one of those nifty little gadgets that tally up the amount of electric you use - I am definitely going to get one of this too. Just google electricity meter gadget and lots of help is available to help manage your bills. My dad is terrible - turning things off even when I am using it - most recently the light in the loo - whilst I was in there! lol

Also - sign up to voucher codes - check out the freebies and lunch boards they are full of ideas for lunches/dinners that you can pre-prepare and freeze - and they are yummy. So that should help your shopping costs.

re the tennis - can you re-negotiate the current rate or look around for a cheaper alternative for his coaching (if its coaching lessons you are paying for)

Please trust me on this - do not worry. It doesn't help you. I am always thinking of new things to help keep costs down - this site is full of help - be as nosy as possible and bookmark the good threads. x

eyeopener2

If he's playing at national level, could you contact the Lawn Tennis Association and ask them for advice? If he's good they would be loathe to lose him over the cost of training.

Worth a phone call or email?

Just an idea really.