Please help. Really struggling.

paulineb_2

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I would as a Christian say that you should stay away from anything to do with the occult, hooscopes etc which is clearly stated in the bible.

I'm certainly not going to say you're married to the wrong man but as Christians we are told not to be yoked to non-believers which is generally taken to mean non-Christians.

However these women do seem very judgemental and it's not for us to interfere in another person's marriage.

I would hope that they don't hate homosexuals but hate what they do which is very different.

We very much should have friends who aren't Christian and should still be in touch with family if they don't believe.

This doesn't sound like the church for you and it sounds like an Evangelical church, maybe you need somewhere a little more liberal? Evanglical churches do expect people to attend weekly unless there's a very good reason and joining with others for prayer/bible study on a regular basis.

God bless and hope you find the right place for you.

Dont hate homosexuals, but hate what they do?

Meaning, hate that two people of the same sex have sex the same way that people who are heterosexual can do without any judgements.

Boy, if thats a common view of Christian people, I am thankful I dont believe.

And I sincerely hope its not. I do know people who are Christian who dont give a hoot about people who are gay having sex

And thats the way it should be.

paulineb_2

Gigglepig wrote: »

Good grief, I didn't think hate was something Christians aspired to

Boy oh boy am I staggered by that comment

Because the bible says that homosexuality is wrong it must be wrong?

I dont care what people get up to in the bedroom, whether people are gay or straight

And what about bisexuality, did the bible say anything about people who sleep with men and women?

paulineb_2

Not your comment gigglepig, the original one.

meritaten

jeez - I am so glad I am a Spiritualist! we may be spooky but NO-ONE can say we are judgemental or fundamentalist!

in fact if you are interested in the afterlife etc - perhaps a visit to a Spiritualist church may be interesting. and there ARE Christian Spiritualists! my own church isn't Christian based but some are!

Billie-S

AWWWWWWWWW, thank you everyone. Your replies have really made my night, and frankly were what I wanted to hear! (That I am not some kind of weirdo or a BAD Christian!) I will read through them all again (and any additional ones ) and decide what to do from there.....

ellay864

I was brought up going to Baptist church until my teens, when we then attended salvation Army meetings, though our family never became uniformed members. I found both OK at the time but gradually drifted away from the church in my late teens. Around the same time my dad died and I was glad my mum had a strong faith which gave her a lot of comfort, but then she started going back to the old evangelical church she'd been to years before...what a difference. I find it very hard to get on with her now, she is bigoted and prejudiced beyond belief. I've found pamphlets in her flat that have suggested murdered prostitutes were being punished. She broke off all contact with a vulnerable friend of hers once she found out the lady's son was gay. Her behaviour is just about as un-Christian as you could wish for. She moans about young people not coming to their church but refused to see that these attitudes might possibly put people off.
It sounds like this is the same sort of church you've founhd yourself in - run for the hills! There will be other churches with people who respect other people despite their differences, and who will have a genuine Christian outlook

Tiglath

meritaten wrote: »

jeez - I am so glad I am a Spiritualist! we may be spooky but NO-ONE can say we are judgemental or fundamentalist!

Ah but Pagans hold the best parties

Torry_Quine

Billie-S wrote: »

Thanks for your answers, but I just wanted to say to torry, that I am not 'into' the occult; just I am open minded and do find it interesting to watch stuff on it. I enjoy witchy type stuff on telly too. But don't practice anything. Maybe I don't mind it, because I am not a strict Christian, just someone who worships Christ, but perhaps my beliefs are not as rigid as some, as I do like some stuff that the bible forbids. I struggle with people who live by 'the bible' too, and go by it word for word and never waver from it, and judge people who do.

Re; the Church itself. They people seem fine in general, but this womens group seem judgemental, and as I said, it upsets me that a few believe that an atheist and a believer cannot cohabit.

I don't know of any of the 'alternative' churches like people are mentioning here. I thought they were all the same.

Maybe I should keep going every 3-4 weeks, but politely decline the womans group?

WHY must people be so judgemental? Why can they not live and let live?

Torry, what does Yoked mean?

Yoked means joinedtogether, think of two horses leading a plough who must go in the same direction. However God doesn't tell a Christian who is married to a non-Christian to go their seperate ways

I'm glad that you aren't into the occult but as Christians we should stay away even from 'fun' things like horoscopes

flashg67 wrote: »

You get opinionated, bigoted idiots in all walks of life - most of the time in other situations, you can choose to ignore them, but in a close-knit group like a church, it's not as easy.

My thoughts are as many above, find a nice 'normal' church - it's like most things - you have to try a few before you find one that suits you. Do you have to go to church to be a practising Christian?

I don't understand how or why most religions seem to justify their various !!!!py views and deeds by saying 'well it says so in (insert holy book), and refuse to see any other possibility outside their own narrow-minded little world?

BTW Torry Quine, I find some of your comments a little close to the edge. As a non-believer, I would say that anyone who partners a religious person deserves a medal for having to listen to a load of centuries old made-up ramblings - but hey, each to their own...

I would say it works both ways if a couple don't agree on religious belief.

Gigglepig wrote: »

Good grief, I didn't think hate was something Christians aspired to

Where have I said it was?:(

paulineb_2

Billie-S wrote: »

Sorry to bother people, but I wondered if someone may be able to help. Really really really long post. Please be patient. There is quite a lot to tell.

Please don't mock me LOL. I know some people don't believe in religion.

Basically, I was raised as a Christian, and went to a Christian school, and my parents sent me to Sunday school every week, which was fine. I went to church a few times in my 20s, and then again in my 30s (I am now nearly 50,) and I used to take my 2 kids (both now grown.)

But I have never been 'obsessed' or even bothered telling people I am a believer in Christ, as I don't want people to think I am a God-botherer LOL. Most people around me are not believers, and although I used to take my kids to the local church and Sunday school back in the 90s when they were little, by the time they were 7 or 8, they started to say they didn't want to go.

My one child is a fan of witchy and wizardy type things on telly, and in films, and one girl (at the Church,) told her she was 'evil' for liking it. Then one time I mentioned that I had bought my friend a Libra necklace for her birthday, and the people at the Sunday School looked shocked that I had bought something that class as part of the 'occult.'

I am not into witchcraft, but do find the paranormal interesting and things like the tarot and suchlike, but apparently, none of this is 'allowed' either.

Long story short, after about 2 years of going to this Church, every 3 or 4 weeks, a few of the women there were so judgemental, and told me once that I best not come into the Sunday school, (which I helped with sometimes,) but I better go into the service to explain to God why I hadn't been to church for 4 weeks! And the daughter of one of them looked down their nose at my kids this one time,for not coming for a few weeks too, so I eventually took the decision to not go any more, and decided to worship on my own.

My husband (married 25 years) is an atheist, but he has no problem with me being a believer and I have no problem with him not believing. When I was at this church, I heard numerous times that I 'may be with the wrong person' as he was not a believer, and that it was impossible for a Christian and an atheist to co-exist.

So fast forward a few years. I moved into a new place, (about 6 months ago,) in a small town with a small-ish community. I started going to the Church 2 months ago, and have been twice since. Again, the vicar said (to the congregation,) 'are you with the right person? Do they see Jesus as you do? And so on... questioning whether people who don't believe should be with people who do.

THEN, a couple of weeks ago, I went to Church, and two women I hadn't seen/noticed before came to me and said 'hello are you new nice to meet you' and so on, and invited me to their 'womens group' that meet every second Wednesday.

So I politely said yes I will come, (even though I actually don't like big social situations and big groups as I find them overwhelming and I get talked over and aren't massively assertive.) So, I went last night, and there were around 17 of them, and it turns out it was a 'Christian fellowship' type of thing. OK I thought - I will give it a go.

So they read stuff out of the bible and so on, and I listened. Then halfway in or so, I said we were lucky to be in the UK (after what had happened in the Philippines) and one woman said curtly 'we are BLESSED: I don't believe in luck.' It was a figure of speech to be honest. So I just smiled and nodded.

Then ANOTHER woman went on about how R.E. is only taught in junior schools, and it's not taught well. She said 'I mean, in my neighbour's daughter's school, they teach them that homosexuality is OK and normal and ALL sorts of nasty stuff!' Some of the woman went 'oh no!' Some others said nothing.

I just cringed. I HATE this side of Christianity; the bigoted and judgemental side. Some of the women were nice and chatty and asked me all about myself and my family, but when the religious stuff kicked off, I got really uncomfortable, as some of the talk became rather judgemental.

I want to pray and worship, and I do believe in the Lord and Christ, but I am REALLY STRUGGLING with all of this. I really want to go to Church, but keep getting driven away by bigots and the judgemental comments from some.

SOME people at the church are fine, and just say hello, and talk about general stuff when I go to church, but then others have these awful views. Is it not possible for me to be a Christian and not have these bigoted anti-gay views? And to have non-believing family and friends?

I grew up in a quite multicultural and diverse area and know a few gay people, and frankly, they are lovely. I really don't think I can get on board with people who judge like this. And yet they call themselves Christian?! What is Christian about despising a whole group in society, who have done nothing to deserve it?

If I keep seeing these women, I am sure it won't be long before they will start questioning how I can be with a non-believing husband. The lead woman in the group said (as I was leaving,) I shall pop in and see you one day if you like: have a coffee together maybe? I would rather not to be honest.

She was pleasant to me, but I am so mixed up in my head now.

What do I do?

As I said, 'some' of these women are OK and I am sure not ALL of them think this way, I mean I am a Christian and I don't think like this. And also, as I mentioned before, most people at the church are fine and don't quiz and question, and haven't said anything bad (IMO) yet. Although here is still time LOL.

I don't feel like I want to go back to that group again, but what excuse can I make?

And I don't know even if I feel like going back to Church again. But why should I be driven away?

My mind is so confused. I want to worship and want to be a good Christian, but some people in the faith make it so difficult for me. Especially with the gay-hating and looking down on non-believers, and not believing a relationship with one can possibly work.

What can I do???

HELP!

Take the religion out of that, they sound like a bunch of mealy mouthed judgemental idiots

I'll say this, you can believe and worship without having to go to church every sunday

I have a family friend who has been in an abusive relationship for a long time, mental, but became physical. She was shunned by her church for leaving her partner who was a pillar of the community

Until they read in the national press that he had been arrested for a breach of the peace, tried to force his way into her home.

Please, live your life the way you want to. Be married to whoever you want to

And if you want to read your horoscope and tarot cards, do it

Because my view as a non Christian, is that Jesus did exist, but the bible was man made a long time after.

And if people want to live their life by the old testament or the new testament. Fine

But we are all human beings and a little compassion and kindness goes a very long way

And those badge wearing Im a good Christian (one was a ministers wife), had nil towards me. I worked in a job where two people wanted my job and me out and they wrote me offensive letters, both in the workplace and out of it. I was also managed by a bunch of reverends who treated me appallingly.

Do I think everyone who is Christian is like that? No. And there are non believers who arent nice people either.

But if you meet a bunch of people who are awful to you and make you feel small no matter where you meet them, seriously, get rid.

Billie-S

ellay864 wrote: »

I was brought up going to Baptist church until my teens, when we then attended salvation Army meetings, though our family never became uniformed members. I found both OK at the time but gradually drifted away from the church in my late teens. Around the same time my dad died and I was glad my mum had a strong faith which gave her a lot of comfort, but then she started going back to the old evangelical church she'd been to years before...what a difference. I find it very hard to get on with her now, she is bigoted and prejudiced beyond belief. I've found pamphlets in her flat that have suggested murdered prostitutes were being punished. She broke off all contact with a vulnerable friend of hers once she found out the lady's son was gay. Her behaviour is just about as un-Christian as you could wish for. She moans about young people not coming to their church but refused to see that these attitudes might possibly put people off.
It sounds like this is the same sort of church you've founhd yourself in - run for the hills! There will be other churches with people who respect other people despite their differences, and who will have a genuine Christian outlook

Awwww, that is sad. I am sorry to hear that. Like a few have said, not ALL Christians are particularly nice are they?