Is anyone else being to pessimistic about their relationships future?

fluffnutter

Goes wrong in what way? I know no one can predict the future but it's unimaginable that the OH and I will split up. But one of us could die. Earlier in the year there was speculation that my husband might have pancreatic cancer. In the dark days waiting for the biopsy results all sorts go through your mind. With a six month old baby and a plan for me not to work again until he's at school, it became pretty stark that financially and practically things weren't great. As unromantic as it sounds, our first priorities were to check my OH's pension entitlement and death in service benefits to see what position I'd be in if he died.

So, yes, but I don't think that that was pessimistic given the situation we were in. Sensible really.

TeamLowe

TBH I've completely and utterly thrown my lot in with my husband especially now that I've accepted VR at work so that I can stay at home with the baby once she's here.
It never occured to me to do any different, I always thought having faith in your marriage was an important part of it and I went into it with my eyes wide open to the possibility that it could end disastrously but that's the risk you take for the happiness you could get from the marriage

I would be totally screwed financially if we were to split but when I think of us splitting that's the least of my worries - not to be too soft, I'm much more upset with the thought of losing the love of my life, with the thought of my child not seeing both her parents every day.

I don't think its a bad thing to have a contingency plan but it would be a shame if having that spoiled the here and now - does having £5k in the bank 'just in case' mean that you can't take that dream trip? In the OP's example, I wouldn't want to work more than I 'need' to now just in case my relationship breaks down, when if the joint finances are good enough i could sacrifice some of those hours at work to spend with my children

Kayalana99

TBH my partner is rubbish with finances, I probably take it abit to far.

I've got a spread sheet with everything I want and it adds up to 400k. That includes paying off my mortgage, money for the kids when their older, our dream (well I suppose its more for the kids lol) to disney land...doing the house up...etc all big stuff really, right at the bottom I have my 'EF' which stands at £300/£3000.

I wouldn't say I'm putting this aside for incase we break up... but it would be their for any emergency whatsoever from the car breaking down to ...as worst case death.

As someone else said, I have been hurt in the past but more that he was just an emotionally abusive person and things broke down rather then him doing the dirty etc.

I suppose when you look at the bigger picture I'm bound to feel this way as my Mother has been with the same guy since I was about 10 or so and she basically says shes only still with him for childcare...its a whole other story but he is not a nice person...and my sister is in a similar situation although the guy isn't as bad by a long shot. -_-

Sometimes I just ask myself is anyone really happy? I guess I don't know one successful relationship with people past their 30s! People in their 20's are all lovely dovey happy but when you look at the older generation no one seems to be

System

Bazey wrote: »

Nope...all rosey here.

Says he who is always offering his services as a toyboy

Bazey

Judi wrote: »

Says he who is always offering his services as a toyboy

All my love all my kissing you don't know what you've been missing...

mincepiemonster

fluffnutter wrote: »

I know no one can predict the future but it's unimaginable that the OH and I will split up.

That sums it up perfectly. To me, it is simply unimaginable.

System

Bazey wrote: »

All my love all my kissing you don't know what you've been missing...

Oh boy! :dance:

Saturnalia

Bazey wrote: »

All my love all my kissing you don't know what you've been missing...

Do you take the bag off your head first?

I need to know! :rotfl:

Bazey

Saturnalia wrote: »

Do you take the bag off your head first?

I need to know! :rotfl:

I remove the bag from my head and I bag it up downstairs...

Smooth.

Dunroamin

Kayalana99 wrote: »

TBH my partner is rubbish with finances, I probably take it abit to far.

I've got a spread sheet with everything I want and it adds up to 400k. That includes paying off my mortgage, money for the kids when their older, our dream (well I suppose its more for the kids lol) to disney land...doing the house up...etc all big stuff really, right at the bottom I have my 'EF' which stands at £300/£3000.

I wouldn't say I'm putting this aside for incase we break up... but it would be their for any emergency whatsoever from the car breaking down to ...as worst case death.

As someone else said, I have been hurt in the past but more that he was just an emotionally abusive person and things broke down rather then him doing the dirty etc.

I suppose when you look at the bigger picture I'm bound to feel this way as my Mother has been with the same guy since I was about 10 or so and she basically says shes only still with him for childcare...its a whole other story but he is not a nice person...and my sister is in a similar situation although the guy isn't as bad by a long shot. -_-

Sometimes I just ask myself is anyone really happy? I guess I don't know one successful relationship with people past their 30s! People in their 20's are all lovely dovey happy but when you look at the older generation no one seems to be

You need to both take out life assurance for this, a couple of grand wouldn't help much.