Parents refusing to fill in income forms

marliepanda

My boyfriend has had a 'falling out' with his parents before his third year of Uni.

Their income allows him to get either a larger loan and/or a maintenance grant (looking at his first and second year payments the amounts stay the same but with a larger 'loan' in his second year) so this falling out was not to try get grants with wealthy parents.

They were his sponsors for first and second year and when he moved out he told the SLC who 'unlinked' them as his sponsors. Now he finds himself in a position with no financial support and only the non means tested loans. His parents are basically delaying the forms and making excuses and using it as a bartering tool to try and get him back home.

Short of playing along until they do them what can he do? It seems silly that he has no income and cannot afford his student rent because his parents got 'unlinked' from his profile by SLC and their income would allow him the full grants. If it doesn't get sorted he doesn't know how he can finish the year.

Dunroamin

Personally, I think he needs to grit his teeth and make it up with his parents.

duchy

All part of growing up
He makes his peace with his parents or he finds employment and studies and works (not so bad in his third year as attendance is lower than year 1 or 2 and he can work his study time around it. I work over 30 hours a week alongside full time study for a BSc and it is tiring but do-able)

In the short term the uni may be able to help out with a small amount as rent is an issue but he will be expected to show he is making every effort to sort his situation out so he needs to speak to his finance dept at uni.

You're right it does seem silly he has gone into his third year with no idea how to fund it though. Time to man up. He doesn't want to live at home... At twenty or older no-one is going to force him to but if he doesn't want to live under Mummy and Daddy's roof why should he be reliant on their co-operation with the forms ? It's a two way street -he seems to want it all his way though which isn't very adult of him.

Voyager2002

There is a process for providing support to students who are permanently estranged from their parents, but it is complicated and time-consuming.

brendon

duchy wrote: »

He doesn't want to live at home... At twenty or older no-one is going to force him to but if he doesn't want to live under Mummy and Daddy's roof why should he be reliant on their co-operation with the forms ?

A 21 year old man moves out, and Mummy and Daddy want him back home before they sign the forms. Well, that doesn't seem very mature to me. I think any reasonable parent would take 5 minutes to sign the forms, regardless of the relationship with their child.

TurnUpForTheBooks_2

Another practical example of the international disgrace which is the UK Student Finance system.

And responses here may also be an example of the extremely weird thinking that still pervades in significant parts of our national psyche. Personally I see it as no better than Schadenfreude, but on the other hand, those who dish out such views seem to see my views as lefty and bolshee.

It is amazing that some whose obvious preference is to frequent Student forums offering views on which way is up to students, seem so oblivious to the world at large, or (as in my case perhaps) oblivious to how one must dutifully suck up to the established UK ways and wait patiently for one's reward perhaps.

We are letting this generation of undergraduates down appallingly. Relationships in this world change constantly. Unless a child has social or mental problems, the relationship between parents and child ceases to exist as one of a truly combined household budget and unconditional financial support around age 18 when most kids will be buying alcohol, many will have experimented with recreational drugs, sexuality and will be using their vote, subject to imprisonment without their parents' knowledge, getting married without parental consent, borrowing as much money from anyone as they can tempt a lender to give (without any co-signature by their parents), and yet SLC thinks it is right and proper to play games using half-baked law with full citizens like the OP.

Then we pontificate on the world stage and tell developing countries that their human rights records are not good enough or that they must educate their women or allow them to drive and they must not allow children under 16 to marry. We are hypocrites.

As I say,we are an international disgrace when it comes to shackling our students at a time when we should be helping them to fly to the highest of their aspirations.

Florasaurus

He might be able to register as an independent student... Phoning Student Finance to discuss the situation is probably your best bet here, they'll have had situations like this before and they'll be able to advise him on how to deal with it

Dunroamin

brendon wrote: »

A 21 year old man moves out, and Mummy and Daddy want him back home before they sign the forms. Well, that doesn't seem very mature to me. I think any reasonable parent would take 5 minutes to sign the forms, regardless of the relationship with their child.

The fact remains that he can't change the way his parents are acting and, from the information given, it sounds unlikely that he would be able to claim estrangement.

Bowing to his parents' wishes for 6 months, however unreasonable these may be, would seem to be the pragmatic solution which would see him graduating in 6 months' time and free to do what he wants for the rest of his life.

V_Chic_Chick

Claiming estrangement is a long and very difficult process.

I would suggest that the most pragmatic way to go about this would be to move back in with his parents for just long enough to get them to sign the forms - and then move out again straightaway. Of course, this does get trickier if third year isn't his final year.

terra_ferma

I too would say it's not worth jeopardizing his future.
There will be plenty of time for the relationship to evolve, this may just be a glitch and things will improve, or he will have plenty of time to let them know how he feels about the way they behaved.
By doing that they might have a small win in the short term, but they may have to pay for it later.

EmmaxOx

Sorry to hear about your situation.

I had a falling out with one parent (separated), so just changed the forms to my other parent. I do believe there is an option to have means tested benefits without parents, something about 'irrevocable differences', but this might be difficult to prove (SLC loves their paperwork!).

As for working in your 3rd year, I'd personally advise against it. You may have less time in classes (potentially), but your workload is probably double what it was in 2nd year. You might have time to work, but it will be disheartening and stressful.

Emma x