Child access - reasonable or not?

silkyuk9

I just want to ask a question regarding picking up a child and returning home. This hasn't happened yet but would like to get some replies to what is reasonable or not.

My son will be getting child access but as we live around 150 miles away from his son's home there is going to be a fair bit of travel involved.

Someone is going to have to pick up the child to bring up north, whether that is my son or myself. Now is it reasonable to ask his mum to collect the child when time to take home? So basically one of us collecting him and coming home at a round trip of 300 miles and asking the little ones mum to collect after a few days/week etc.

Is it reasonable to ask both mum and dad to meet each other half way so they both can meet travel costs of petrol?

While im not bothered about collecting the child, or my son and returning him home ourselves I was just wondering what would be reasonable to ask when we go to court for access in a few weeks time.

Please im only interested in what is reasonable in this situation rather than re-answer questions regarding access.

Thanks very much.

krok

silkyuk9 wrote: »

I just want to ask a question regarding picking up a child and returning home. This hasn't happened yet but would like to get some replies to what is reasonable or not.

My son will be getting child access but as we live around 150 miles away from his son's home there is going to be a fair bit of travel involved.

Someone is going to have to pick up the child to bring up north, whether that is my son or myself. Now is it reasonable to ask his mum to collect the child when time to take home? So basically one of us collecting him and coming home at a round trip of 300 miles and asking the little ones mum to collect after a few days/week etc.

Is it reasonable to ask both mum and dad to meet each other half way so they both can meet travel costs of petrol?

While im not bothered about collecting the child, or my son and returning him home ourselves I was just wondering what would be reasonable to ask when we go to court for access in a few weeks time.

Please im only interested in what is reasonable in this situation rather than re-answer questions regarding access.

Thanks very much.

Why are you starting another thread.

Person_one

On your last thread about this subject you said:

silkyuk9 wrote: »

Thanks for all your advice and support. My son is trying to do the right thing.

I want to end it there please.

Thanks again

When people were asking reasonable questions and genuinely trying to help you and your son. Why would they want to start the whole rigmarole over again?

thorsoak

Your son had a job where his ex partner and child lived. When his relationship broke up, he left that town to run home to mummy and daddy. And now he is the one that will have to travel back and forth in order to see his child.

That's the way it is.

CH27

Your son chose to leave his son & his job. He chose to move 150 miles away from his son.
The onus is on him to do the travelling to establish contact.

Jinx

AFAIK you cant force the mother to do drop off/collections. So it may fall to the dads side of the family.

When my daughter was little my ex-hubby drove and I didn't. I started with good intentions of taking her to him but it took a lot of time and money which I couldn't afford. He had no alternative but to do journeys both ways, which to his credit he did.

It is reasonable to expect both parents to do it but it depends on willingness, finances and goodwill imo.

poet123

I think if your son was the one who moved away then he should be the one who does the travelling.

GwylimT

The parent who moves is the one who should do the traveling, the parent who moves should also be liable for the travel costs.

rach_k

I haven't read any of your previous posts but if it was your son who moved away from the area where the family lived, I would say it is perfectly reasonable of the mother to expect him to travel to collect and drop off the child. If the mother had moved and the father had not, I would expect the mother to do the travelling. You could ask the mother to share in the travel, perhaps she could come a third of the way, but I wouldn't expect her to pay for any of the father's travel costs and I would expect the father to offer to pay her petrol costs for her part of the journey. She may agree out of good will but that's the only reason for her to do it, IMO.

bagpussbear

Personally I don't think it's reasonable to ask the mum to come and collect him. It should be your son's responsibility to pick and drop off his son.

It's a long time ago for me now, but my husband walked out when my son was 2, and as much as I would never have denied his access to my son, I felt that if he walked out of the marital home then it should be him that puts himself out to come and collect and drop him off, I don't think distance should matter. My husband never had a problem with that and saw his responsibility as doing that.

I don't know any of the background obviously, and this is just my opinion but hope it helps.

shegirl

He moved away so it should be his responsibility.