ADHD and spouse

sanctuary43

paulineb wrote: »

You do have choices, you dont need to stay in a relationship thats making you feel desperate enough to call the samaritans.

thanks paulineb, I know there are choices, I guess I feel I need to try everything before calling time on the relationship, which would actually break my heart if it came to that. He can't help having the condition and he has had a couple of knocks in recent months which is why I'm trying more to understand him rather than criticise. But boy is it hard!

sanctuary43

marisco wrote: »

I am sorry to hear of the awful time you are having. I hope the links advised will help you. Unfortunately though until your husband acknowledges that he has a problem, and decides to seek professional help to address it, this is how your life will always be.

Thanks. I've found the links others have posted very helpful so far and am very grateful.

But you are right, there is this voice at the back of my head that says maybe this won't get better, maybe my life will just have these highs and lows for the rest of my life. Unless something changes of course.

Confusedheart

sanctuary43 wrote: »

sorry confusedheart, was there meant to be a link there? I can't see anything?

Oops yes sorry. I'm tired lol. Been a long day.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/adult-add-adhd-relationships-and-marriage.htm


There you go

Xxx

Brewstersmum

Hi just found this thread. My partner has ADHD and a lot of the guys I work with also have it (SEN Teacher).

Obviously at work its a different environment and strategies for dealing with things are different.

with my partner, we have found that crap food can make him really bad. processed foods, coffee, sweets anything like that can trigger such a foul mood but he wont even remember it the next day or anything he said....

I find feeding him fresh home cooked foods and banning coffee has improved our home life ten fold. I also make him come to the gym several times a week to improve his general mood (and mine as I also suffer from depression and anxiety)

hope this helps and hugs xxx

kiwi1

I have been married to my ADHD husband for more then ten years... and I can completely relate to your comments. It's been extremely turbulent, and we've now come to accept that although we're still married and a couple, we do need our own space so we don't live together full time any more.

What saved our relationship was family therapy. Having a third party to mediate, to insist on certain standards of behaviour etc, was absolutely critical. I self referred to the family therapist, and it was free. Because it was provided by a family institute, not an NHS organisation, it wasn't an 8- sessions- and- you're -out arrangement - we were able to continue until we were ready to end them.

jetplane

I find this very interesting as I did not realise that ADHD was common in adults. Touching on what Brewstersmum and kiwi1 said I have a relative who is an OT and when practicing abroad the approach was for the family to engage in therapy and the child eat a healthy diet before prescribing meds and the diet worked in a substantial amount of children.