ADHD and spouse

Confusedheart

Yes he treats me so badly sometimes too. It's like his mood switches and the smallest things set it off.

He's supposed to be on medication but stopped taking it around 7 years ago. He says it makes him feel spaced out and not with it.

I also have a small inkling my almost 2 year old may have it too.

Xx

sanctuary43

Confusedheart wrote: »

Yes he treats me so badly sometimes too. It's like his mood switches and the smallest things set it off.

Yes, small things can set off my hubby, things you could never foresee and therefore avoid.

Can I have a moan about something that happened this morning please.

I have a stinker of a cold and had a rough night. Decided not to go into work today as felt so rough. Husband wanted to cuddle before he got up for work, about 45 mins he cuddled me, despite me feeling achey and restless. At the end I said "I'm achey and hot love, can you please get off".

At which point he shouted "sod off", was angry without explaining why when I went downstairs 10mins later to try and make things better, he wasn't having any of it. He left without saying goodbye, no usual email contact as we normally do, and has only uttered 4 words to me tonight "thanks for my dinner".

It's like I am being punished, and for what. It's not normal is it, and yet he feels the wronged one here. I read that ADHD sufferers don't see the situation the same as we do sometimes, so I do my best to understand. But today I feel very upset. I have suffered from depression in the past, and quite frankly I think some of his recent behaviours are triggering me off again.

Thanks for listening to me get that off my chest

Gloomendoom

Sounds like he is just having a sulk to me.

sanctuary43

I'm fed up of his sulks to be honest.

Confusedheart

sanctuary43 wrote: »

Yes, small things can set off my hubby, things you could never foresee and therefore avoid.

Can I have a moan about something that happened this morning please.

I have a stinker of a cold and had a rough night. Decided not to go into work today as felt so rough. Husband wanted to cuddle before he got up for work, about 45 mins he cuddled me, despite me feeling achey and restless. At the end I said "I'm achey and hot love, can you please get off".

At which point he shouted "sod off", was angry without explaining why when I went downstairs 10mins later to try and make things better, he wasn't having any of it. He left without saying goodbye, no usual email contact as we normally do, and has only uttered 4 words to me tonight "thanks for my dinner".

It's like I am being punished, and for what. It's not normal is it, and yet he feels the wronged one here. I read that ADHD sufferers don't see the situation the same as we do sometimes, so I do my best to understand. But today I feel very upset. I have suffered from depression in the past, and quite frankly I think some of his recent behaviours are triggering me off again.

Thanks for listening to me get that off my chest

Can definitely relate to that!

We could be having the best day ever. Then all of a sudden something minor will upset him (sometimes I don't even know what) and all I get is 'f*** off' or 'I hate my life' .. I'm not sure whether you have this problem but he also gets violent with the walls!

Then he will basically ignore me all day then suddenly everything's normal again and he expects me to forget his mood.

I also have depression, and some days I just feel like what's the point.

paulineb_2

sanctuary43 wrote: »

No, he has never taken medication, he doesn't believe in it, and says ADHD is just a word. It's partly why I am feeling so frustrated at the moment, there is no recognition of any thing wrong from him.

You do have choices, you dont need to stay in a relationship thats making you feel desperate enough to call the samaritans.

Confusedheart

Read this.

I just found this and I can so relate. It has also kind of just made me realise what goes on in his head.

Some of the sentences just clicked!

Hope it's the same for you

Xx

marisco_2

sanctuary43 wrote: »

No, he has never taken medication, he doesn't believe in it, and says ADHD is just a word. It's partly why I am feeling so frustrated at the moment, there is no recognition of any thing wrong from him.

I am sorry to hear of the awful time you are having. I hope the links advised will help you. Unfortunately though until your husband acknowledges that he has a problem, and decides to seek professional help to address it, this is how your life will always be.

sanctuary43

Confusedheart wrote: »

Can definitely relate to that!

We could be having the best day ever. Then all of a sudden something minor will upset him (sometimes I don't even know what) and all I get is 'f*** off' or 'I hate my life' .. I'm not sure whether you have this problem but he also gets violent with the walls!

Then he will basically ignore me all day then suddenly everything's normal again and he expects me to forget his mood.

I also have depression, and some days I just feel like what's the point.

Thankfully hubby doesn't get violent with the walls! But yes, its the same for me, he can react to something that will really pee me off. Then act normal later, and doesn't see why I am not 'over it' as quickly as he is.

sanctuary43

Confusedheart wrote: »

Read this.

I just found this and I can so relate. It has also kind of just made me realise what goes on in his head.

Some of the sentences just clicked!

Hope it's the same for you

Xx

sorry confusedheart, was there meant to be a link there? I can't see anything?