Dog and Christmas

zaksmum

Judi wrote: »

Yeah I know what you mean but your isolating yourself. What will happen when your dog dies? You will have no one to talk to, no one to spend time with. There has to be some sort of compromise.

It doesn't quite work like that in my family:)! They all want a piece of me for babysitting and God knows what else.

Not that I mind - I adore my kids and my grandsons - but I don't get a minute to myself so there's very little chance of isolating myself.

sharloid

OH's family don't particularly like our dogs, but they'll put up with them because they know they wouldn't get to see us otherwise! If my dogs weren't invited/welcomed then I wouldn't go.

Spirit_2

We have a large friendly dog who we love. We have had dogs for 25 years and we never assume our lovley dogs would be invited unless a specific invitation was made.

On boxing day we have 4 lots of family for the day, one family has children who are afraid of dogs, they know of our dog and we will make every effort to keep them seperate, they will make an effort to ensure the children cope, the the other three family units have four dogs between them. All of the dogs are lovely in their own way and I am happy to spend time with them.

We have free range chooks, a cat and lots of bunnies .

These other dogs are not invited they would have a whale of a time if here , it is a shame they will miss the walk, however we would have more mess, be distracted from our human guests and anxiety for thsoe who do not like dogs. I do not want any of that on a day when we want a family feast and people focused fun.

We have declined invitations in the past so that we did not leave him when we could not get doggy sitters and a dog could not be left. We have also had occassions when we have had doggy visitors.

Perhaps your parents feel as I do, that there is a time and a place for including our four legged friends in social events and the host of the event is the decision maker on this.

Rev

When I just had one dog I took him to Christmas dinners with me because I don't like to leave him alone for more than 4 hours. And I didn't want to eat and run. Sounds sad but of he couldn't go, I didn't go.

Now I have two dogs so they have company and aren't alone if I go out I worry less about it and don't take them both with me. I still don't leave them alone for huge lengths of time.

But then I adore dogs. Small. Large. Quiet. Boisterous. It wouldn't bother me in the slightest you bringing him.

ailuro2

Well if it were me I'd ask you to train your dog better and make him aware of his place in the pack instead of treating him like a child and expecting people to make allowances for him like they would a young child. That would be the problem solved from here on in.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but having an excitable dog around when there's a lot going on in the house already sounds like a recipe for arguments.

Dovah_diva

aileth wrote: »

Hi all,

Every year for Xmas we go to my parents on Xmas day and the in laws Boxing Day. We have a two year old dog who still acts like a puppy. He gets very easily excited and is pretty non-stop, but doesn't bite or whatever. We often get told not to bring him to family gatherings as he's 'too much to cope with', which I do understand but it does annoy me a little as to me he's part of the family (my parents love him and always want him there).

I'm sure the same will happen for Christmas, which will mean well have to do an hour extra travelling to drop him back home before travelling on. Christmas is a family time, the pup is part of our family now, you don't not invite certain children over for Christmas because they're too hyper.

Any thoughts? I probably sound silly but each time were told not to bring him it hurts a bit.

In laws have two dogs which ours gets on with well, and if we ever asked him not to bring them etc he'd be very very unhappy, so why does it only work one way?

So don't go. It really is that simple. I have two dogs and want to spend quality time with them so visit other people at other times.

ostrichnomore_2

Did people ever used to take dogs visiting with them in the past? I've had dogs and while I loved them to pieces and they were definitely part of the family, I never took them to someone else's home. I don't recall my parents taking the family dogs to anyone's house either. And no-one's ever brought a dog to any of my homes.

I think it's all part of the 'babyfication' of pets recently: wearing clothes, untrained, undisciplined, 'my baby' attitude. And I think it's naff and does the poor dogs a real disservice.

Aileth - I'm not saying you treat your dog like this, you clearly don't. But the whole idea of taking your dog to someone else's home wouldn't have been normal behaviour 15 years ago. We all managed to keep our dogs happy and healthy AND socialise with others - it's not one or the other.

And to be honest, we used to be taught that it was a kindness to the dog to leave it at home rather than taking it out to big public events/parties/crowds/noise/excitement/confusion. You will miss your dog. OK. But really your dog will be happier at home than in the middle of a noisy over-stimulating situation where the poor dog ends up getting in trouble/having to try to control its urges to run around.

paddy's_mum

I would suggest that you politely ask your in-laws whether your dog would be welcome if you agreed to bring his crate and put him in it whenever he is not outside being walked by you.

Even if they again refuse, you will have shown that you have considered their concerns, tried to understand what bothers them and offered a courteous negotiation that satisfies everyone. As an added bonus, you gain some brownie points about your maturity and niceness into the bargain.

lostinrates

ostrichnomore wrote: »

Did people ever used to take dogs visiting with them in the past? I've had dogs and while I loved them to pieces and they were definitely part of the family, I never took them to someone else's home. I don't recall my parents taking the family dogs to anyone's house either. And no-one's ever brought a dog to any of my homes.

I think it's all part of the 'babyfication' of pets recently: wearing clothes, untrained, undisciplined, 'my baby' attitude. And I think it's naff and does the poor dogs a real disservice.

Aileth - I'm not saying you treat your dog like this, you clearly don't. But the whole idea of taking your dog to someone else's home wouldn't have been normal behaviour 15 years ago. We all managed to keep our dogs happy and healthy AND socialise with others - it's not one or the other.

And to be honest, we used to be taught that it was a kindness to the dog to leave it at home rather than taking it out to big public events/parties/crowds/noise/excitement/confusion. You will miss your dog. OK. But really your dog will be happier at home than in the middle of a noisy over-stimulating situation where the poor dog ends up getting in trouble/having to try to control its urges to run around.

In the past lots of things were different.

Firstly we knew less about animal behaviour etc and cared less about welfare either way.

Secondly in many households there was someone at home pretty much all the time

Thirdly dogs were often let run loose around the place to roam or properly kennels in groups if working dogs like gun dogs

Or if pet dogs, like toys, yes, they went with their owners ....look at old art for the pets of the old original toy dogs depicted in art. . And more humble dogs were often at masters feet ..

Any

My sister has a dog. I love him and have him when they go away and I can have him. They always bring him to our house and he is most welcome. He is massive.
My friend also has a dog and I always say to bring him if she is coming for coffee or wine.

But the other day I had a party for over 20 people in my house (2 up 2 down with tiny garden), with dancing and food and lots of drinking. When my sister said she is bringing the dog I told her under absolutely no circumstances does he need to come. Firstly there is no space to put him but let him run around people, secondly the music will be very loud for him, people will be drunk and he will go after the food. And thirdly - he is always by your feet at all times, and given that I am trying to cook and serve 20 people (even if it is just nibbles and drinks and some buffet) I don't need to step on him every time I move.
In a situation like this the stress is big enough without having to step on a dog, there really are situations when even the dog is better off at home for few hours, he will sleep most of that time anyway!

It would be different if the dog could be put away somewhere. But I do not have the room, apart from my bedroom everything else was accessible to guests.