Financial Abuse, is it?

Poppy9

Mojisola wrote: »

No, our family is the same. Household chores are shared because they have to be done - no-one gets paid for doing them - but if one of the kids does some shopping for me, I give them the money. That's what my parents did when I spent money getting things for them - not paid me for doing the shopping but paid for the goods they wanted.

It's a bit different to sending a child to get a bit of shopping when they are a school child and not earning.

I would no more charge my DD in Uni for the food I give her to take back with her or ask her for petrol money if I give her a lift back to halls. She has her student loan and income from her job but I want to and like to help her out. Am I wrong to subsidise her?

Mojisola

Poppy9 wrote: »

I would no more charge my DD in Uni for the food I give her to take back with her or ask her for petrol money if I give her a lift back to halls. She has her student loan and income from her job but I want to and like to help her out. Am I wrong to subsidise her?

I wasn't talking about children still in education.

Would you still do this if she was at work and earning a reasonable wage?

If you would, there's nothing "wrong" about it. It's your decision to spend your money how you want to.

Poppy9

Mojisola wrote: »

I wasn't talking about children still in education.

Would you still do this if she was at work and earning a reasonable wage?

If you would, there's nothing "wrong" about it. It's your decision to spend your money how you want to.

Yeah I probably would if I could afford to but I can equally see she wouldn't allow me to - if you get me. I think as a family we are not very good at taking money off one another as it doesn't feel right. i.e. I buy theatre tickets for me and a sister and I don't like to take the money off her and vice versa. Depending on cost of tickets we would "treat" one another or say "it's your birthday present" etc.

My MIL didn't take the pee with her shopping list, it was often just essentials and came to little more than £15. She would offer money and I would refuse so she would give me £5 or £10 to give to DD !

Mojisola

Poppy9 wrote: »

Yeah I probably would if I could afford to but I can equally see she wouldn't allow me to - if you get me. I think as a family we are not very good at taking money off one another as it doesn't feel right. i.e. I buy theatre tickets for me and a sister and I don't like to take the money off her and vice versa. Depending on cost of tickets we would "treat" one another or say "it's your birthday present" etc.

My MIL didn't take the pee with her shopping list, it was often just essentials and came to little more than £15. She would offer money and I would refuse so she would give me £5 or £10 to give to DD !

That sounds very much how it happens in our family except we're a bit more relaxed about paying for stuff directly.