neighbour problem - what would you do?

Going4TheDream

Sorry this is a bit long but I totally empathise with you. I would say as much as its hard do not open the door, tell her to go away, do not give her any drink, as this kind of behaviour is 'enabling her'.

We recently moved and have experienced a very similar situation (albeit the person doesn't have a child). It transpired upon speaking the neighbours that this had been going on for a number of years.....

I got so sick of it that I actually ended up going though the local MP as we found that calling the police alone had little impact as they dealt with each incident in isolation and nothing really changed. The final straw was her being carted away again in an ambulance and leaving her dog alone with no care for about 3 days, despite several neighbours calling the police, RSPCA and other places no one came out. She could have for all anyone known be laying dead (fortunately a neighbour managed to contact one of her relations in the end to take the dog) Not one department wanted to take responsibility, each saying it was someone elses!

Frustrated I emailed our MP with details, and they in turn forwarded it to our local council. Your local council will have a 'Neighbour and Anti Social Behaviour department, you could go direct but I found going through the MP that it was followed up pro-actively rather than becoming stuck in a pile of other complaints, as the MP chased them regularly. Believe me within 24 hours of the email to the MP I had an email and phone call from the relevant department at the council. They advised me of how they would tackle this and what steps they would take and regularly updated me

They will in turn get social services involved for both the mother and child, liaise with the police and any other council department they feel necessary. They will coordinate the whole thing with all parties and follow up. Since taking this approach we have had no incidents at all, whereas before it was a regular once a week occurrence that several neighbours were calling the police.

This way everything is logged and official and there is accountability by all departments

maman

dancing_in_the_rain wrote: »

I know they will but if Social Workers come out and she does not present the way OP describes and no other agencies have concerns then there may be no evidence that their involvement is need. That is why I suggested calling the police. Also it provides evidence if OP wants to speak with the Anti-social behavior team at her council.

I wasn't disagreeing with calling the police, but pointing out that it wasn't either/or police or social services. So calling the police could result in social services involvement. Seems that contacting local council might do the same. Don't you just love joined up government?;)

Savvy_Sue

If she is renting, then contact her landlord. If it's the council or a housing association, her Housing Officer needs to know this is going on. If you're not sure, then a phone call to the local council housing dept should get that question answered.

aileth

Sounds like she either has or is developing mental issues or alcoholism which is taking its toll.

I'd get in contact with Social Services re a long-term solution, but when she knocks on your door, don't answer it and ring 101.

jackyann

Goiung4theDream offers good advice, but I would add that it is very different if a child is involved.
It isn't either / or police / social services, but as there is a child I would begin with Social Services who have the greater expertise in that area. Maman has a very good point.
Keep a log (including specific stuff about the child) and be very clear to them that this is repeated behaviour. This also address dancingintherain's concern. I would also make the point you made in your first sentence "this is escalating".

I am so sorry to hear this, you are in a dreadful situation, but you will feel better once you have done something.
Can I also add a caution? Avoid talking about it in your neighbourhood - it can get very like gossip, and cause problems. However, if there is a neighbour you trust, then adding their perspective can be helpful.

Shas21

I would agree with others, contact local authorities.

The sooner, the better, as the longer you leave it, the worse it will become.

Better to nip this in the bud now.

Good Luck