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neighbour problem - what would you do?
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Cavemanu
Posts: 63 Forumite
Having problem with neighbour that is escalating. Have known her for a few years (as a neighbour acquaintance not friend)
She has started to ask to borrow money (& other things like wine) and her behaviour is getting more erratic/aggressive and it is getting quite stressful.
She recently started knocking on my door later at night (around 10.30-11pm) with increasing frequency wanting to borrow money under the influence of drink/possibly stoned.
I've tried to ignore the door, which is quite difficult when someone is saying "I know you are in there". So far I have managed to say No about giving her money/wine/whatever it is she is asking for. I am starting to feel like my home is not a peaceful haven / retreat anymore
I've had to explain to my OH not to lend her money as it will just encourage her to keep asking. She has also recently started doing strange things like looking in peoples bins and commenting on the contents (?!)
Anyone had experience of tackling this type of situation/behaviour? I am aware that this person does not have many friends or family support because of her challenging behaviour.
She has a young child who is often 'free ranging' around our estate who is a nice kid but very needy and wants to go into peoples homes, which has caused further conflict.
I've tried being friendly in the past but sadly now I'm becoming worn out/less tolerant and my instinct is saying "avoid" because of the overwhelming demands/neediness and to be quite frank fear for my personal safety.
Any suggestions?
She has started to ask to borrow money (& other things like wine) and her behaviour is getting more erratic/aggressive and it is getting quite stressful.
She recently started knocking on my door later at night (around 10.30-11pm) with increasing frequency wanting to borrow money under the influence of drink/possibly stoned.
I've tried to ignore the door, which is quite difficult when someone is saying "I know you are in there". So far I have managed to say No about giving her money/wine/whatever it is she is asking for. I am starting to feel like my home is not a peaceful haven / retreat anymore

Anyone had experience of tackling this type of situation/behaviour? I am aware that this person does not have many friends or family support because of her challenging behaviour.
She has a young child who is often 'free ranging' around our estate who is a nice kid but very needy and wants to go into peoples homes, which has caused further conflict.
I've tried being friendly in the past but sadly now I'm becoming worn out/less tolerant and my instinct is saying "avoid" because of the overwhelming demands/neediness and to be quite frank fear for my personal safety.
Any suggestions?
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Comments
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Social Services?Good enough is good enough, and I am more than good enough!:j
If all else fails, remember, keep calm and hug a spaniel!0 -
Yep. Without a doubt social services.0
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Agreed.
It sounds like her drinking might be getting out of her control and affecting her mental health, her and her child need some help. Call tomorrow.0 -
I agree, Social Services. This isn't just about a person with a possible drink/drug problem, think of the child having to live in such and environment.0
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Agreed about social services.
Also stop answering the door.0 -
While I agree social service should be involved. If she is knocking at your door in the middle of the night I'd suggest calling the police especially if she is drunk/stone in charge of her child. As then her behavior will be witnessed as the police and they can check the child is ok.0
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dancing_in_the_rain wrote: »While I agree social service should be involved. If she is knocking at your door in the middle of the night I'd suggest calling the police especially if she is drunk/stone in charge of her child. As then her behavior will be witnessed as the police and they can check the child is ok.
I believe that the police would refer to Social Services anyway as the child sounds to be at risk.0 -
I agree with all posts above.
You can also get advice from the NSPCC.:heartsmil When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.0 -
I am sure you feel like you don't want to get her into trouble BUT I am afraid you are going to have to report this. I lived through a time where I REALLY wanted to report a situation and didn't, now I regret not doing so......... I doubt you will be the only person she is bothering (sorry for her but couldn't think of a better word) so it's unlikely she will realise it is youBlackpool_Saver is female, and does not live in Blackpool0
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I believe that the police would refer to Social Services anyway as the child sounds to be at risk.
I know they will but if Social Workers come out and she does not present the way OP describes and no other agencies have concerns then there may be no evidence that their involvement is need. That is why I suggested calling the police. Also it provides evidence if OP wants to speak with the Anti-social behavior team at her council.0
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