Paranoid/Jealous OH's

jimamma · 1 November 2013 at 11:58PM

Thanks for all you replies

ska_lover · 2 November 2013 at 12:04AM

Hi there,

He sounds low on confidence/jealous. Needlessly. Has he been crapped on before? by an ex?

jimamma · 2 November 2013 at 12:16AM

ska_lover wrote: »

Hi there,

He sounds low on confidence/jealous. Needlessly. Has he been crapped on before? by an ex?

Thanks for your reply...Nope hes never been crapped on not by me or anyone else. From what he told me he crapped on people in the past:eek:

We are/have been/ and fingers crossed always will be faithful and open with each other. I tell him everything and he tells me.

He just has a problem with some people not everyone. For e.g if we go to supermarket and I have a laugh with the checkout operator its not a problem one day. But the next day it could cause a massive argument. Does that make sense?

paulineb_2 · 2 November 2013 at 12:21AM

How long has this been happening. This isnt the way a healthy relationship should be, thats all I can say.

BitterAndTwisted · 2 November 2013 at 12:26AM

Treading on eggshells around the one person who is supposed to be closest to you is no place to be. He's using his unpredictability to keep you on your toes and control you. Whether you want this to be a feature of your future together is up to you. I couldn't tolerate it as I'd find it too depressing but I'm not you. If he doesn't see anything wrong with this behaviour he won't want to change or see any reason why he should.

What happens if you challenge him?

jimamma · 2 November 2013 at 12:31AM

paulineb wrote: »

How long has this been happening. This isnt the way a healthy relationship should be, thats all I can say.

Im not too sure but its definitely got worse since about 18months when friends DP came on the scene.

jimamma · 2 November 2013 at 12:32AM

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Treading on eggshells around the one person who is supposed to be closest to you is no place to be. He's using his unpredictability to keep you on your toes and control you. Whether you want this to be a feature of your future together is up to you. I couldn't tolerate it as I'd find it too depressing but I'm not you. If he doesn't see anything wrong with this behaviour he won't want to change or see any reason why he should.

What happens if you challenge him?

I hate it (the situation he puts me in). when I challenge him he apologizes and says hes being silly. I love this guy but just dont think i get him sometimes. For heavens sake he knows I would never in a milliion years do anything to hurt him. Im too loyal.

paulineb_2 · 2 November 2013 at 12:36AM

Its up to you if you stay with this man, but all I can say is, unless he recognises he has an issue and makes efforts to change, which might involve some counselling, prepare yourself for another 10 years of this, or 20, or 30.

People in healthy relationships do not have a reaction if someone speaks to a checkout operator, or speaks to a friends partner.

And hes crapped on people in the past? Well there you have it, the signs really arent positive at all.

I do think in this kind of relationship and Ive been in a few negative ones, but not with this issue, you make excuses for someone, you love them so you dont want to leave them. Then perhaps theres a wake up call that regardless of whether they love you, they are making your life miserable.

You do have choices. Stay, leave or try and work things out. But he has to make an effort. Not for a day, not for a week or two. For good.

paulineb_2 · 2 November 2013 at 12:37AM

jimamma wrote: »

I hate it (the situation he puts me in). when I challenge him he apologizes and says hes being silly. I love this guy but just dont think i get him sometimes. For heavens sake he knows I would never in a milliion years do anything to hurt him. Im too loyal.

But hes hurting you with his behaviour. Theres absolutely nil respect for your feelings and that of your friends.

System · 2 November 2013 at 12:50AM

If your partner has been the one to cheat in relationships he obviously thinks your friends partner is like him... in other words will cheat on his partner (with you). Maybe he thinks you will cave in like his other 'conquests'.