Divorce Settlement - Your Valued Opinions Please

loftus

Well its fair if the houses are the only assets but we don't know that. We don't know about savings, endowments, pensions, debts. We don't know the respective parties earning capacities, whether the mother or father gave up a good career to look after children.
You can't just judge a divorce settlement on the value of the equity in property.

TheWaltons_3

loftus wrote: »

Well its fair if the houses are the only assets but we don't know that. We don't know about savings, endowments, pensions, debts. We don't know the respective parties earning capacities, whether the mother or father gave up a good career to look after children.
You can't just judge a divorce settlement on the value of the equity in property.

No you're right, but I think Women do far too well out of Divorce's. Why should she get a slice of his Pension?

Marriage/Divorce Laws need to keep up with the times. Women have their own Pensions these days!

loftus

Is there unfairness in divorce and custody - yes, but you have to look at all these factors when deciding asset splits.
In some families it is agreed that the woman (or occasionally the man!) gives up work when the couple have children - sometimes giving up a very good career - or moves to working part time. By supporting her husband(or wife) they are making an effective contribution to their career prospects at the same time as not being able to make future pension provision for themselves or taking themselves right off the career ladder.
Under these circumstances that partners future and retirement has to be protected in some way.
Plus whoever is the main carer for the children does need some security.

tranquil_2

TheWaltons wrote: »

Women have their own Pensions these days!

Umm, Not strictly true. I'm a SAHM and stopped my pension contributions when I gave up work after DD1 as born. Since then DH's wages have increased (and therefore so have his pension contributions). Also because I don't work, DH can work silly hours at short notice when needed, (which has helped with the promotions and therefore pay increases and therefore higher pension). I look after children, ensure house running smoothly(ish) and keep family budget down, I contribute too. Having stepped off the career ladder, when I return to work I'm unlikely to achieve the pension I would have if DH had stayed at home and I continued work.

We are happily married and a split is not on the cards, however if we were why shouldn't I be entitled to part of his pension? Indirectly I've contributed to it as well!

This isn't meant to be an aggressive post, and isn't directed at anyone in particular. Sorry to OP, I know this isn't relevent to your situation, but the above comment seems to pop up regualrly (from various people) and I felt that an alternative view was needed to point out there are still a few of us who will be relying on our hubby's pensions when we retire!

Edit: It took me so long to type that my point has already been covered. Must not be distracted whilst replying!!

TheWaltons_3

tranquil wrote: »

Umm, Not strictly true. I'm a SAHM and stopped my pension contributions when I gave up work after DD1 as born. Since then DH's wages have increased (and therefore so have his pension contributions). Also because I don't work, DH can work silly hours at short notice when needed, (which has helped with the promotions and therefore pay increases and therefore higher pension). I look after children, ensure house running smoothly(ish) and keep family budget down, I contribute too. Having stepped off the career ladder, when I return to work I'm unlikely to achieve the pension I would have if DH had stayed at home and I continued work.

We are happily married and a split is not on the cards, however if we were why shouldn't I be entitled to part of his pension? Indirectly I've contributed to it as well!

This isn't meant to be an aggressive post, and isn't directed at anyone in particular. Sorry to OP, I know this isn't relevent to your situation, but the above comment seems to pop up regualrly (from various people) and I felt that an alternative view was needed to point out there are still a few of us who will be relying on our hubby's pensions when we retire!

Edit: It took me so long to type that my point has already been covered. Must not be distracted whilst replying!!

Well I'm married and if we split up, I don't believe I should live comfortably on HIS pension. I also work full time and my children are in childcare, which we both pay for... so it's not like I have had to sacrifice anything for having our children.

Not all Mums are stay at home... some choose to, others do not... and don't the CB pay small contributions into a State pension (probably a seperate thread )

loftus

TheWaltons wrote: »

Well I'm married and if we split up, I don't believe I should live comfortably on HIS pension. I also work full time and my children are in childcare, which we both pay for... so it's not like I have had to sacrifice anything for having our children.

Not all Mums are stay at home... some choose to, others do not... and don't the CB pay small contributions into a State pension (probably a seperate thread )

And thats great - and more power to you for doing so. I was thinking about those parents who do stay at home to look after the children - often a joint decision - and haven't been in the sort of position you are in where you can contribute towards a pension.
But if you did split up (heaven forbid) then it would be fair that all the families assets were considered when deciding on how they would be split. And a courts main concern will be keeping a roof over the heads of the children - who are the innocent parties in any break-up.
The point I was trying to make in this thread is that we just haven't been given enough information to know whether what is proposed by the OP is fair or not.

tranquil_2

TheWaltons wrote: »

... so it's not like I have had to sacrifice anything for having our children.

I'm not disagreeing, in your case you it would inappropraite to claim on your husbands pension.

We don't know anything about the OP wife, whether she stays at home or how well paid her job is, what the situation with childcare is, or what other assets there are. Therefore, as with most advice on this board, comments are made on your own interpretation of the information given. If she is a SAHM there are issues she will have to come to terms with, in addition to the ones faced by all divorcees, that will affect how fair a financial settlement is.

All we know about the OP is that he has 2 small children (previous thread) and his wife is unable to pay him £30,000 to buy him out. Again from previous posts, he indicated that there is a mortgage on the family home but the rented home is self-financing and has been owned by himself for over 15 years (the length of the marriage).

cymro

Many thanks to all - touches a few nerve endings does this subject. My wife and I both work - she more or less full-time and the divorce shouldn't impact her earnings much as I have offered to look after kids to help out (and spend time with the kids I love of course!). Yes I have a pension and thinking about it I don't think she has. She has pretty much worked continuously since we met so could have taken one out but guess she had her head in the sand and relied on me (guess).

It is always nice to get other peoples opinions and here at MSE there is no shortage of ideas - thus the rationale for my post.

Regards

Kimitatsu

You will be better off in the long run to give her the equity in the house and protect you pension, as the stock market does better than house prices over a long period.

When my OH got divorced we had a 75/25 split and the 25% we dont get until his youngest daughter leaves full time education. Having said that I knew what his pension was worth and in the long run outstrips the assets in the house.

If you can do it amicably then it saves a lot of heart ache in the long run, and if she does not have a pension you cannot rely on the state pension to keep you going.

loftus

Without knowing any more details about your earnings, other assets and debts I would reckon at this point let her keep the house. But, TBH, its still almost impossible to judge what is fair or not without knowing a clearer picture of the situation.