Just had an interesting conversation with my mate .....

peardrops_2

Her and her hubby are arguing constantly at the moment about the amount of times per week they are "intimate"!!! Trying to keep it clean.

They've been married about 5 years I think and have 2 very young kiddies. Hubby is kicking up a fuss as their twice a week has gone by the wayside and she "doesn't love him anymore"!!!

I was gobsmacked. I've been married forever and have 2 kids. I don't count how many times per week but lucky to remember how many times per year! LOL.

It doesn't seem to bother me or hubs but her hubby is really giving her some grief. I don't know what to say to her as our rumpy pumpy is very few and far between but very enjoyable. He's obviously going for quantity not quality.

What advice can I give her, apart from my first reaction of castrating him!!!! LOL

MoaningMyrtle

Tell him to be bit more considerate? His needs don't come first any more.

She is probably knackered looking after the children.

Both people have to be happy with the frequency of their sex life don't they?

(BTW, Mr MM found a pack of out-of-date condoms last week!!! LOL)

peardrops_2

MoaningMyrtle wrote: »

Tell him to be bit more considerate? His needs don't come first any more.

She is probably knackered looking after the children.

Both people have to be happy with the frequency of their sex life don't they?

(BTW, Mr MM found a pack of out-of-date condoms last week!!! LOL)

PMSL! I'm happy remembering our last time by an abacus rather than which day! LOL.

I do feel sorry for her. We went through a similar thing but my hubby is understanding after I made him sit through an explanation of passing a watermellon through a money box lid!!! LOL.

TheWaltons_3

I am happy with it every now and again.. with 3 young children.. Bliss is a good night's sleep!!

My husband jokingly winds me up about it constantly.. but is happy with cuddles when I'm knackered.... I can't be the sex kitten I was when he met me with 3 kids, a full time job and a house to clean

I even feigned a Headache the other night and chuckled myself to sleep!!! :rotfl:

I admitted it the next morning though!

Sarahsaver

Ideally every day.
In reality 3 or 4 times a week, but something that good is worth waiting for
If they are arguing about the 'number of times' I expect there are other problems.
She should tell her hubby to pleasure himself!

poe.tuesday

If his sex drive is strong then there are other ways to relieve himself than putting presure on his wife to 'service' him (gosh that sounds crude), he seems to want sex, where I would presume she would much prefer to make love.

there is far more to a relationship that having it twice a week

Nenen

If he is 'kicking up a fuss' and pressurising her for 'intimacy' this is likely to have the opposite effect to the one he seems to want. Telling her, 'You don't love me any more', when she is trying to cope with the demands of two very young children is childish of him (he's competing with his own children)and egocentric in the extreme.
If she is tired and stressed, (feeling as if everyone wants a piece of her is common at this stage of parenthood) then instead of 'giving her grief' he should try taking the children out for a while and let her have a relaxing bath and a long nap. If finances allow then treating her to a massage, haircut, new dress, meal out etc (without demanding anything in return) might gradually rebuild her sense of herself as a s@xy woman rather than harrassed mother! If he helps around the house and treats her as if she is beloved and precious to him (not just a convenient hole) she might feel more loving in return. Once she is treated with love and affection herself she might feel more demonstrative and s@xual towards him.

Maybe I'm just lucky with my 'drive' but I put it down to my lovely dh! He has always treated me so wonderfully that I've never once gone off s@x in almost 26 years of marriage (even when we had 3 children under 5) and I was working part-time too. Indeed at my 6 week post-natal check I had to admit, with great embarrasment, to the doctor that I might even be pregnant again as we'd got unexpectedly 'carried away'.

Just to prove you can make a good thing even better... we discovered tantra a few years ago and that has added yet another dimension to our intimacy. If your friend is interested I can thorougly recommend 'Diamond Light Tantra' run by a marvellous woman called Leora Lightwoman (try googling it for details, I have no direct connection other than we have attended several of her workshops and done a tantric holiday which was brilliant).
HTH... maybe you should print it off and leave it lying around your friend's house for her dh to see!!!:D

*Louise*

I'm currently 35 weeks preg with our 3rd, we have been together 10 years and don't have a prob...and I don't think her hubby is being unreasonable wanting twice a week tbh.

It's how he is going about it that's the problem - saying 'you don't love me anymore' isn't going to get anyone in the mood. She should tell him to romance her and she might be more willing.:D

ailuro2

The basic difference between men and women is- wait for the sweeping but pretty obvious statement-

Women need to feel loved -when they get that they want sex.

Men feel the need for sex -when they have had it then they feel loved.
If she makes a bit of an effort to please him:rolleyes: , then she might find she actually enjoyed it, he'd be happy and inclined to sit down and agree that good quality once a week is better than carping on about it. The odd quickie during the day (when the kids aren't looking) can make him feel 'wanted' and make her feel less of a mum and more like his partner.:o

With two young kids she will be tired,he will be feeling left out. Sometimes we do need to step back and have some couple time- it what keeps us together.

My DH works shifts so isn't always available:mad: but we do plan our cuddles round his shifts.:o He has a much higher sex drive than me and would be happy with three times a day, however, dinner has to be cooked, and shopping done:rotfl:

kr15snw

Hehe, me and my partner are both young and have no kids to worry about (Im 20). We worked out about 3 months ago that it had been almost 6 months since we last had sex!

It has picked up again now, but well go weeks without it and it doesnt bother us

I agree with your idea of castrating him:)

Justie

every couple has a normal frequency and it's only fair that both partners agree to it and feel comfortable with it - I agree with the comments about him not being wrong for wanting more sex but he's gone about it in a hamfisted way. It's an important part of a relationship but too often goes byt he wayside because life and stress gets in the way. Often women can't switch off from the day to day enough to be able to enjoy it but if you try then often you get into it...

says the heavily pregnant horny woman whose OH is currently out of the country :rotfl: