Domestic violence next door

meritaten

you say its HA property? then one lone person reporting this is going to get ignored. why don't you speak to the people above/below this flat? and if they have neighbours the other side of them or opposite speak to them too - there is more pressure in numbers! they may be afraid to speak out for fear of being the lone voice, but if they know that you have already done so........may be willing to add their complaints too.
on a practical level - line any vulnerable window with clear sticky back plastic - if your window then gets er, 'put in' you wont have flying shards of glass.
one lock on the front door is NOT adequate, unless it is a relatively new UPVC door with a multilock system. if the old wooden door, you need a bolt top and bottom! any hardware store can supply them and will advise you on fitting them. so too a door chain.
btw - the crime prevention officer at the local police station WILL come and advise you on your homes safety. just ring them and ask for an appointment. my mum had a door chain fitted by them free.

from what you say its mostly the female you can hear? are you sure she isn't the 'aggressor'? whichever one it is - this is awful for you and your child (and the dog) to have to overhear. I hope it gets resolved soon - but nothing ever gets done unless the neighbours get 'up in arms' about it! sorry, but if you say nothing and your neighbours say nothing it will carry on.

wiggywoo9

Its an odd set up in our block, basically three maisonettes on one side, two on the other and below top level are flats. On our side, there's the DV case, then me, then an older family. The opposite side is a family and then a lone man (bit of a recluse, odd one, possible drug user, could be wrong!). Forgetting the last one as utter useless (long story!), one family has small kids like me and has ignored it. I know them from my past actually but they have stayed out of it except when the woman went to her to call police. The other family are quite reclusive too and keep to themselves. I have to beg them to take in missed post, let alone anything else! It's ridiculous that no one hears it, it is obvious, and often on stairwell, but tbh I don't think anyone else will help. The lower flats have nothing to do with us, and I don't know them at all.
It seems to be the woman pleading with a man a lot, but she shouts and wails an awful lot, like 'don't', etc. I hear a lot of bumps/bangs and a lot of noise at unsociable hours. It seems to flare up to mad levels on weekly occasions, I wait for ten minutes to see if its going to continue, then call 999.

whitewing

Can you get your health visitor to discuss your concerns for your own young son?

Other than that, keep reporting.

Well done for continuing to care.

meritaten

I am pretty sure downstairs will have heard - go and knock on doors! as I said if you can get neighbours together the more they get together the more will join in, as there is safety in numbers. if necessary fib a bit - tell the downstairs people the people upstairs are fed up and want something done and vice versa!

mandi

sulkisu wrote: »

I have been in a similar situation

My advice would be to call the police whenever you hear anything (if you want to),. Until the woman in question (assuming he is the aggressor), decides that she wants to press charges and take it further, nothing will happen - unless someone ends up dead or seriously injured.

I agree with the majority of your post sulkisu, but the law has changed . If the police are called out often , then the matter is dealt with by the CPS regardless of charges .

In effect taken out of the alleged victims hands .

Blackpool_Saver

mandi wrote: »

I agree with the majority of your post sulkisu, but the law has changed . If the police are called out often , then the matter is dealt with by the CPS regardless of charges .

In effect taken out of the alleged victims hands .

yes, but this is not always a good thing as it can stop an abused person from calling for help, it's hard for people who haven't experienced this to understand, you really think you cannot manage alone, you are so worn down and confused

Blackpool_Saver

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

I hope to god she comes to sense, moves away to start afresh and remove him permanently. I don't think there's any way I could help tbh!

If only it was that simple, she will want to, but isn't able to

mandi

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

yes, but this is not always a good thing as it can stop an abused person from calling for help, it's hard for people who haven't experienced this to understand, you really think you cannot manage alone, you are so worn down and confused

I know & agree with you Blackpool absolutely .

duchy

Richard53 wrote: »

Report it and report it again, to police, social services, the HA, whoever will listen. And again, and again.

Not because it will do any good (although it might), but because when there is the inevitable public enquiry, and some well-paid suit is on the TV saying gravely that "lessons have been learned", you will at least have a clear conscience.

You really have missed the point haven't you

duchy

Blackpool_Saver wrote: »

If only it was that simple, she will want to, but isn't able to

Not always true.
My ex neighbours used to have the police out weekly. The shouting and screaming was daily. Everyone tried to help the girl .....but as time went on it became clear she would deliberately wind him up - and was equally capable of attacking him physically as well as verbally (if not more so). It was a toxic relationship -full of drama-you'd have furniture flying and the most vicious taunts -then ten minutes later they'd be walking hand in hand down the road.

I do agree it's about self esteem (both had quite rocky upbringings) but ultimately any change has to come from within a relationship. Social services will simply want to ensure they are not hurting the kids (and I do agree it's stupid - the damage exposing kids to the idea that kind of physical and verbal abuse is "normal" is scary) .

In the OP's situation she has complained to all the right people ....and has no idea if things are happening in the background with any of these agencies. All she can really do for now is keep a diary and get the HA to deal with it as a noise pollution issue.