indirect contact

barahs

hi just a quick question

i have a court order which states "father to have indirect contact with child xxxxx" now am i right in thinking that this means email, text or letters only?

now i am not forcing my son not to see his father but feel it is my sons choice, however father keeps turning up on my doorstep uninvited and badgering said child till he cries!! then i get called names for intervening!!

So, am i legally correct in thinking he cant just turn up on my doorstep?

many thanks for any advice given.

alwaysonthego_2

Indirect contact means as you say email or letters. I wouldn't say text though. The child isn't supposed to respond to indirect contact, it is suppose to prove the commitment of the father.

If he keeps turning up despite the contact order, you are in your rights to contact the police for harassment and you can apply for a restraining order.

DigForVictory

See http://www.fnf.org.uk/law-and-information/contact

"This refers to situations where face to face contact has been determined to be unsafe, unsuitable, or not in the child's current best interests. It may take the form of letters, cards or presents, delivered through a third party such as a Cafcass officer."

Start with the Cafcass officer for advice, as this may need to go back to court?

"any right of contact is always subject to the welfare of the child" - so long as you can prove his presence is the cause of the tears, he's seriously pushing at being allowed indirect contact.

Wiser heads will be along soon, but all the best in the meantime!

barahs

thanks for those replies, i just wanted to make sure it was correct in my head. Seems pointless taking it back to court/cafcass he is almost 14 and is adamant he doesnt want to see him.

also even if it did go back to court "father" has a habit of not turning up. Which is one of the reasons the court order was eventually changed from school and bank holiday contact to indirect contact.

i'm afraid as callous as i may sound the days are gone when i force son to spend time with his father.

Mojisola

barahs wrote: »

now i am not forcing my son not to see his father but feel it is my sons choice, however father keeps turning up on my doorstep uninvited and badgering said child till he cries!! then i get called names for intervening!!

barahs wrote: »

thanks for those replies, i just wanted to make sure it was correct in my head. Seems pointless taking it back to court/cafcass he is almost 14 and is adamant he doesnt want to see him.

So why are you answering the door and why is your son putting himself in his father's presence?

Doorbell rings - look out and see it's your ex - son goes up to his room and puts on his headphones on - you sit tight and don't answer the door.

Perhaps send him a text, asking him to comply with the court ruling and go away.

If he doesn't go away or gets nasty, phone the police, explain about the "only indirect contact" order and that you are anxious because he's making a nuisance of himself at your door.

barahs

i answer the door because if i dont he continues bashing at it and embarrassing me in front of my neighbours,

he did threaten at the weekend to go to the police and i just said "ok toodle pip" i'm just wanting to check i am 100% right before it happens again.

delain

barahs wrote: »

i answer the door because if i dont he continues bashing at it and embarrassing me in front of my neighbours,

he did threaten at the weekend to go to the police and i just said "ok toodle pip" i'm just wanting to check i am 100% right before it happens again.

To be quite honest it is YOU who should be calling the police as he is harassing you and your son.

Call them the next time he knocks and they will catch him hammering

Mojisola

barahs wrote: »

i answer the door because if i dont he continues bashing at it and embarrassing me in front of my neighbours,

So you'd rather your son was so upset that he's reduced to tears rather than be embarrassed in front of the neighbours!

Your local police station will have Domestic Violence Unit - contact them and have a talk about what's happening before your ex turns up again. If they are aware of potential problems with your ex making a nuisance of himself outside your house, they'll respond quickly to a call.

Your son's well-being should be your first priority.

barahs

Mojisola wrote: »

So you'd rather your son was so upset that he's reduced to tears rather than be embarrassed in front of the neighbours!
no actually i wouldnt but i feel "father" needs to hear it off son rather than view me as being and i quote " a horrible specimen of a human being"
He usees emotional blackmail on my son and although i tell son say whatever you want and then shut the door my son is too well mannered to shut the door on his face.




Your son's well-being should be your first priority.

it is thank you. I just want to get my facts clear before i stand up to him.

on a sort of side note, just supposing his dad did go to the police and complain etc etc and they attended my house and i showed them the court papers would they then tell him to leave us alone.

again i do appreciate everyones advice.

Mojisola

You should have been in touch with the police the first time he turned up at your door.

It doesn't matter what the neighbours think!

barahs

thanks mojisola

i know i should have stuck up for us both long ago.

many thanks for your wisdom