given up my job, bit scared

glitter_fairy

So our family have had some massive changes in the last year. To help all the children I have handed in my notice of my very stressful job. It will mean tightening our belts, but with my husbands wages plus the free lance work I can do we should be ok.

Its not money im worried about, its more not having a full time job, and how that makes me feel about myself if that makes sense. It wont be forever but holding my family together has to come first.

Has anyone else ever done this? How did you cope?

meritaten

I have only ever done temp or part time jobs since having a family - and spent quite long periods not working! I cant say that I felt of 'less worth' when I wasn't actually working ...............which is more important to you? your family or working for someone who doesn't give a toss about you personally? you say its not the money, its self worth. you obviously have a good reason to give up work - so what you are going to do is really important.
Check out the Old Stylers thread for ways of 'tightening the belt'. its much easier to do when you aren't stressed and short of time! like shopping around instead of popping into the nearest 'expensive' supermarket cos you haven't time to drive to the cheaper one. or baking or cooking from scratch. or batch cooking!

or why not take the time at home to study? some wonderful courses in the OU which could take you right back into the workplace when you are ready!

enjoy your new career - because that is what it is! and if you really really feel the need to work - there are many part time jobs out there!

Artytarty

Hi, well done on making what you feel in your heart is the right decision !
Your job did not define who you are, though no doubt you will miss the social interaction etc. just try and remember why you are doing this, surely nothing can be more important?
Maybe you can work on some plan to return to the workplace at some time in the future, if that's what you want to do.

glitter_fairy

meritaten wrote: »

I have only ever done temp or part time jobs since having a family - and spent quite long periods not working! I cant say that I felt of 'less worth' when I wasn't actually working ...............which is more important to you? your family or working for someone who doesn't give a toss about you personally? you say its not the money, its self worth. you obviously have a good reason to give up work - so what you are going to do is really important.
Check out the Old Stylers thread for ways of 'tightening the belt'. its much easier to do when you aren't stressed and short of time! like shopping around instead of popping into the nearest 'expensive' supermarket cos you haven't time to drive to the cheaper one. or baking or cooking from scratch. or batch cooking!

or why not take the time at home to study? some wonderful courses in the OU which could take you right back into the workplace when you are ready!

enjoy your new career - because that is what it is! and if you really really feel the need to work - there are many part time jobs out there!

I was a SAHM for years, but my children were not at school then. It will be lovely to drop them off, pick them up etc but not 100% sure what I will do during school hours,

I know if doesnt define me but I do get a lot of personal satisfaction from it. I guess im just a bit nervous of such a big change,

I know its best for everyone but its going to be strange x

sukysue

Glitter. I can only applaud you for putting your family first, as for your feeling of self worth, I know what you mean but you are more than just your job. I'm sure you will be more than fine not working, good luck my dear.

marisco_2

You will have a full time job, looking out for the best interests of your family and taking care of everyone. Reading between the lines of your post, it comes across that this is really necessary within your family at this time in your lives. I had to take a career break a few years back in order to do similar. It felt strange at first as I had felt that part of my identity came about from what I did for a living. Ultimately though stepping away from a stressful job and being able to concentrate on what really mattered was a liberating and strengthening experience.

After a short time of adjustment I felt fine and made the most of my time being at home. I kept in contact with friends and old colleagues and made sure that I regularly had some 'me time'. This gave balance to my life, kept me sane and feeling part of the adult world. Nothing in life is permanent OP. Try to see each new phase you experience as an opportunity to try something new and learn from it. One day when you do decide to return to the workplace, you will no doubt have developed all manner of new skills that you can apply to a role. Win, win

glitter_fairy

sukysue wrote: »

Glitter. I can only applaud you for putting your family first, as for your feeling of self worth, I know what you mean but you are more than just your job. I'm sure you will be more than fine not working, good luck my dear.

thank you x

glitter_fairy

marisco wrote: »

You will have a full time job, looking out for the best interests of your family and taking care of everyone. Reading between the lines of your post, it comes across that this is really necessary within your family at this time in your lives. I had to take a career break a few years back in order to do similar. It felt strange at first as I had felt that part of my identity came about from what I did for a living. Ultimately though stepping away from a stressful job and being able to concentrate on what really mattered was a liberating and strengthening experience.

After a short time of adjustment I felt fine and made the most of my time being at home. I kept in contact with friends and old colleagues and made sure that I regularly had some 'me time'. This gave balance to my life, kept me sane and feeling part of the adult world. Nothing in life is permanent OP. Try to see each new phase you experience as an opportunity to try something new and learn from it. One day when you do decide to return to the workplace, you will no doubt have developed all manner of new skills that you can apply to a role. Win, win

It really is, we found out nearly a year ago my husband had another child from a teenage relationship. She is a lovely girl but she has problems and its been disruptive to our other 2 children. Our son had problems anyway and they are getting worse.

My husbands job is getting more and more stressful and it just feels like something has to give.

I am really hoping that by spending more ime with all three of them I can help them all adjust to our new family dynamics.

meritaten

If its the 'school time' when you feel a bit adrift - then think hard about attending a local college and 'retraining' in something you are interested in - you will be amazed how many courses are 'free' to mature students! this is how I did my City and Guilds Computing courses. and from then other courses were open to me for free! I ended up with a Microsoft Masters in Word, Excel and Access and a BTech (dist) in Computing and along the way picked up a shedload of other Qualifications. it actually helped during job interviews when asked what I was doing during work breaks. Employers were often impressed I had spent it studying (not so impressed that I was also looking after a very sick child!) but college opened up a whole new world for me! all from signing up for free 4 week course in 'Computers for Beginners'!

all sadly out of date now - but I would quite happily go update my skills if I felt the need to!

and over a period of 15 years I got my degree (hons) with the Open University. I had to pay for it, so took part time temp jobs. and took the courses as and when I had the time or money (or both) to do them. Time at home doesn't have to wasted!

mountainofdebt

Good for you making the decision that's right for you and yours rather than what's right for the bank balance.

As for what do in 'school hours' apart from those already mentioned, what about volunteering ?

LeeLoo_2

I don't have much to add but did not want to read and run. It is unfortunate that being a stay at home parent is sometimes undervalued. What you are doing is very important for your family wellbeing. There have been some good suggestions about how to fill time and save money.. ((((hugs))))