If you found yourself living on a friends sofa how would you make yourself useful?

LeeLoo_2

If you found yourself suddenly homeless and unemployed e.g. due to a break up & redundancy at the same time and you had to rely on friends what would you do?

If you had friends (who had a school aged child) in a two up two down who offered you their sofa, how long would you stay, and if you did what would you do to pay your way if you had no money.

Personally I think I would do the following;
1. Make every effort to find ANY kind of work and then rent a room somewhere in a shared house until I could afford my own place or even find a live-in position.
2. Knowing that they are in a small place make every effort to find somewhere else to live.
3. Find out what benefits, housing allowance I would be entitled to, if any.
4. Offer to make dinner or at least buy a frozen pizza so people can have something to eat after a 12 hour day working instead of starting to cook.
5. Be as helpful as possible around the house, offer to do anything you can see needs doing and ask for anything that you can do.
6. Wash the dishes and push the hoover around and change the bins at least.
7. If I were sleeping in the living room be up early so that I am not still lolling in ‘bed’ when people are getting ready for work.
8. Knowing there is a school aged child on whom they spend a lot on childcare offer to
o Walk the child to school (5 minutes away)
o Pick them up
o Help with homework/ reading

What would you do?

tea_lover

Why start another post when you're already having useful replies on the other one?

LeeLoo_2

tea_lover wrote: »

Why start another post when you're already having useful replies on the other one?

Just a bit of a different angle and a specific question. Besides the other one is just a bit of a rant & tl;dr (i.e very long)

SailorSam

We've just been talking about this, Why start again if you want to know what i said go and read the other thread. Didn't you start the first one ?

hazyjo

Long enough to find a job. Month or two at worst, two weeks even better! Deposit on a rental would hopefully be covered by any redundancy payout, or, as you suggest, house-share.

Would offer to pay, would offer to babysit, would obviously clear up after myself and offer to cook dinner - although not everyone likes to feel their home has been 'taken over'.

If I've been round friends' for dinner, or if people have been to mine, I wouldn't dream of expecting them to wash up, clear up, or watch me wash up. I would leave it until they'd gone. But when I lived in Brentwood, friends of friends would just go into their kitchen, cook things for them, expect to stack the dishwasher or wash up after dinner, or generally take over! Was totally alien to me. My friends and I would never do that and I'd hate anyone to be in my kitchen cooking or clearing/cleaning. If I had a friend stay, I wouldn't expect her to take on the running of the house or anything!

At a very rough guess, if it was for a week, I'd just serve up another portion of dinner, and she could buy the wine! Maybe she could scrape the plates and I'd stack them in the dishwasher (I'm fussy/particular!). If it was for a month or two, I'd rather know beforehand so we could maybe decide on a bit of 'keep' money, and would just treat her like a member of the family rather than a lodger. Would be nice if she babysat, or brought in the odd treat or bottle, but that's about it probably, especially if it was for longer and she was paying a bit of money.

Jx

hazyjo

Ah, just seen the other thread, so prob not really relevant, but you did ask what we'd do without giving timeframes...

Jx

LEJC

To be honest,you need to define useful.....what one person takes as useful the next may not.

Ive read your other thread which is very much still going and some good points are being made by all...and im not sure now where to put my response.

I would try to make myself useful....i'd give you space,your forced lodger appears to be doing that by taking himself off to the shed
I would buy my own food...you say hes doing that also
I would wash up ....
etc etc
you have been exceptionally hospitable to this guy and perhaps hes become a little settled,but as others have said it probably is time for him to move on and for you and your husband and child to reclaim your space...

I didnt initially read your other post as a rant,but actually this one comes across more so....

There are certainly things on your list that I wouldnt consider doing,particularly the stuff involving your child,thats an area where too much bonding can form and ultimately make it more difficult to explain to a child why someone they have grown to trust is now moving out of the family unit,..so actually no I wouldnt take on childcare,collecting and taking to school and homework!

So really its not about how useful the guy is or indeed if hes pulling his weight around the house...its more about you moving on with your lives

paulineb_2

LeeLoo wrote: »

If you found yourself suddenly homeless and unemployed e.g. due to a break up & redundancy at the same time and you had to rely on friends what would you do?

If you had friends (who had a school aged child) in a two up two down who offered you their sofa, how long would you stay, and if you did what would you do to pay your way if you had no money.

Personally I think I would do the following;
1. Make every effort to find ANY kind of work and then rent a room somewhere in a shared house until I could afford my own place or even find a live-in position.
2. Knowing that they are in a small place make every effort to find somewhere else to live.
3. Find out what benefits, housing allowance I would be entitled to, if any.
4. Offer to make dinner or at least buy a frozen pizza so people can have something to eat after a 12 hour day working instead of starting to cook.
5. Be as helpful as possible around the house, offer to do anything you can see needs doing and ask for anything that you can do.
6. Wash the dishes and push the hoover around and change the bins at least.
7. If I were sleeping in the living room be up early so that I am not still lolling in ‘bed’ when people are getting ready for work.
8. Knowing there is a school aged child on whom they spend a lot on childcare offer to
o Walk the child to school (5 minutes away)
o Pick them up
o Help with homework/ reading

What would you do?

If you dont want the person there then politely ask them to leave.

Or ask them to do some of what has been mentioned above. People dont read minds, Ive not read the other thread though, I agree that theres no need to have two threads about the same issue going on at one time.

thorsoak

I would certainly not expect a lodger to undertake child-care duties - and to be honest, if a lodger offered to do this, I think I would be showing him/her the door! Unless I knew them extremely well, I would be very dubious about their intentions.

Bazey

I'd leave them passive aggressive post it notes around the house with short messages of things I think they need to change about their lives.

mucklebones

If it was me I would clean up after myself and spend as much time out the way as possible. Especially around those difficult times school, dinner, bedtime.